Surrounded by Sociopaths

[vanessavango]

Hello Everyone,

I just finished reading a book about Psychopaths and it suggested reaching out to others who understand on forums because if one attempts to explain the insanity to the average person they may believe the sociopaths’ lies–that you are insane.

I have come to realize I have at least 6 sociopaths (or malignant narcissists) in my life! My family of origin has at least 4. I married one and I gave birth to one.

What I have been subjected to: I was horribly abused as a child, physically, emotionally, mentally and was subjected to a high degree of sexual inappropriateness. My feelings never mattered. When I was in my 20’s I started complaining, even having periods of rage, to my mother about her and the family’s behavior towards their victims.

I married a sociopath and had 3 children with him. We divorced after 8 years when I realized he didn’t care at all about my feelings. He joined my family, becoming best friends with my mother, sister, brother-in-law etc. They helped him in court proceedings against me. My sister was his star witness in a guardian-ad-litem investigation (unbeknownst to me-one of the most painful days of my life was when I got that report in the mail and read about it). We spent 15+ years in court.

I have just finally realized my daughter is one too. I am the type of person who goes out of my way to please, especially my kids. Through reading books and going on the websites/forums I am coming to terms with my character issues that need changing, for example that I need to have some self-respect.

When I read have “no contact” that is unfortunately impossible. Every holiday or big event my ex-husband orchestrates it to humiliate or torture me and to ruin the event. I am very concerned for my remaining two kids, ages 22 and 18. One is a co-dependent, like me, and has his dad on a pedastal. Every wedding, graduation, and other event will be poisoned by these toxic people. And they teach my sons to ignore their feelings, to ignore the fact that Good people make us feel good and that Good people care about our feelings.

Thank you for reading. My life has been an extremely difficult one.

Vanessa

[rayray]

Hi Vanessa,

First and foremost, I want to honour you and the fact you spoke up to your family and divorced your abusive ex-husband. This is no way looking over the trauma you have experienced and continue to endure. Leaving or speaking your truth is one of the hardest things to do, as the blowback from this (as you have stated) is massive. What resources or books that you mentioned have helped you?
You are most certainly not alone in what you have gone through. It sounds like it has been devastating to you and your family. And here you are, still speaking your truth and seeking connection. That takes courage.

[vanessavango]

Thank you for replying rayray,

I just finished reading Psychopath Free: Recovering from emotionally abusive relationships with narcissists, sociopaths, and other toxic people. I regularly watch Ross Rosenberg’s excellent videos on co-dependency and narcissism etc. I also watch other helpful videos and read blogs such as Kim Saeed’s blog about sociopaths and the like. If you have any book suggestions I’ll take them. Right now I am watching a Youtube video by Lisa Romano on being the “crazy co-dependent,” something my family loves to tell people I am, “crazy” that is. It deals with the rage we have at the emotional abuse.

Thanks again…

[Author]

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