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Hi fellow forum people –
I wanted to share some interesting commonalities about my ( I being a female ) experiences with females friends ( and an aunt ) that I have never specifically read about but that seem relevant to gaining more insights about this topic. First I would like to compare a friendship that describes a real give and take. I had a friend ( who has sadly passed away ), but when we used to have conversations there was always a sharing of her topics and interests and my supporting or validating or giving feedback about what she was saying and with her doing the same for me. More recently I had experiences with a few “ friends “ in which the conversations began as mutual and then little by little the friends started to dominate the conversations so much so that not only was I not given space to express stuff that were going on with me, but if I somehow did, they showed no interest, or made it seem like it was not important. But if I even tried to get a word in edgewise to make comments about what was going on with them, they acted like I was interrupting ! I had a similar experience recently with my aunt. In all three cases, when I attempted to make the situation more balanced and fair, they all had narcissistic offenses and cut me off. With the so called “ friends “, I just let it go. But with my aunt, I did suffer because of that and some other cruel treatment from her, but I was going to try to make amends anyway. Luckily, I watched Donna’s You Tube about senior sociopaths and saw the light – that I should not be in a situation with someone who is abusive even if they are a family member and are a senior ( Thanks Donna ! ).
I was wondering if anyone else has had this kind of experience with a friend or family member.
Thank you for reading my post.
Blessings -
You very well could be dealing with narcissists, but you could also be talking with people who have lost – or never learned – social skills. In this electronic, immediate gratification, post your soul on Facebook age, lots of people have lost the ability to actually communicate. I see this especially in the younger generation. Their only communication by thumbs and is always one sided all about ME stuff and their reaction to other people is to push a Like button or a smiley or sad face emoticon. So when a face to face conversation actually happens they have NO clue how to respond. This probably does not apply to your older aunt, especially if she is purposely hurting or offending you – SHE is most likely a selfish twit.
Then there is my sister who is an extrovert (I am not) and tends to dominate conversations. She has a LOT to say –even her IM’s are a mile long. I often feel pushed to the side and ignored when in her presence, especially around other people. But one-on-one she is great. We share and chat and sometimes cry together…but get her in a group and I suddenly become the Invisible Woman.
So – sometimes it is situational, sometimes learned (or not-learned) and sometimes it is true narcissism.
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Are you dealing with people who don’t get out much and want to talk and talk before going back to their solitary lives? I live alone after my disastrous relationship with a narcissist. I like to talk a lot and find myself dominating the conversation: I’m not a narcissist but I am starved of company.
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