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Hi!
My name is Tatjana and I’m a film maker.
I got first introduced to gaslighting and narcissistic personality disorder through a friend who told me about her verbally abusive and cheating ex.
I felt really bad for her, as she’s always been the sweetest, the most caring and kind girl I’ve known. After their break up she completely lost confidence in herself and couldn’t trust anyone. It took her about 3 years to recover.Then I met another friend, who told me a story of her psychopathic partner. She told me how he made her feel special and convinced her to have a child together. Since then, he’s used their daughter to hurt her, make her stay with him, whilst he
has been cheating on her literally in front of her eyes. She tried to go to court over custody, but he’s been telling lies about her taking drugs and being a bad mother.I’ve met more and more people who have experienced similar stories, so I started looking into this issue in more depth – also reading posts on this forum. I was shocked by how many people with NCP are out there and how much harm and pain they’re causing..
Being a film maker, I’m passionate about creating films that can somehow be beneficial to people. So I decided to create a short film about this issue, to raise awareness of gaslighting and narcissistic abuse.
The film has been well received and even won a few awards (You can check it out here if interested: https://youtu.be/SVCqTcb4qkM )However, it’s very hard to tell a complete story in 20 minutes. That’s why I’m currently working on a feature film – to try and tell an authentic story of narcissistic abuse, from the first encounter to the inevitably painful breakup)
My hope is that by watching the film – people, who are lucky enough to haven’t yet been exposed to NPDs will be able to recognise the signs and run for the hills, while they still can.
I am in the final stages of completing the script and would be super grateful, if any of you would like to read it and give me some feedback, as to whether you feel it’s realistic and whether it’s missing any crucial details.
Feel free to get in touch with me via here: https://www.instagram.com/yourrealityfilm/ (I hope it’s allowed?) or by replying to this thread.
Thank you for your support! This community is really incredible.
Tatjana
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Very powerful short…it captures the warped reality that gaslighting causes very well. Congrats.
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Hi Tatiana – thank you so much for making that brilliant movie. This information does need to get out there so unsuspecting people can be warned and educated, as you have accomplished with it. To me, what was especially poinent was to be able to see the downward spiral of the woman. From the beautiful and vivacious person she began as to the utterly destroyed being in the end. It was powerful to actually see it enacted and thus be made so clear. I also liked how you included the transition of the friend. Friends are so important for support for those who are in abusive relationships, and as you showed, they are often unsuspectingly be turned into “ flying monkeys “ for the abuser, which brings a two sided sword against the target. First to have the friend who was needed to be on her side removed, and then the target thereby being isolated even further. So it left the ending of the film on a hopeful tone, because the friend inadvertently was able to hear the truth. I also liked how you juxtaposed the scene in two ways, so in the end we were able to see the perpetrator totally unmasked. Kudos to you ! And thank you very much. I intend to read the script that you put a link to as soon as I am able.
Blessings to you -
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Hi Tatjana – a movie that had a good example of “ intermittent reinforcement “, which you mentioned wanting to figure a good way to dramatize, is called “ Sleeping with the Enemy “ with Julia Roberts. It’s a very old film, and yet I still remember one scene that impressed me – it showed that diametrical behavior from being nice and then suddenly turning awful which so confuses the victim. It is one of the techniques that so “ messes with their heads “. At the time I saw the movie, I didn’t know the terminology but it made a deep impression – I guess because I recognized it. Anyway, the husband was continually a psychopath and depicted the horrible end of the spectrum for most of the movie. But on one occasion, they had to go to a party – I think a social occasion for the husband’s work, like in your film. Julia ( the wife ) seemed to be doing a good job ( from the response of the husband ) and they seemed to have a good rapport because they were able to signal subtly to each other when they had put in enough “ face time “ and could leave. They got home in good spirits, and Julia seemed to be genuinely happy that we hadn’t seen previously. Then suddenly in a dramatic way, the husband turned awful. Anyway, you might get some good ideas from that movie. I’d like to read your script, but I don’t participate in Instagram or Facebook. Is there another way in which I could read your script ? The last thing I wanted to mention is that I was thinking about your short movie where you had the same scene at the end dramatized differently, and I was thinking that maybe you were showing the extent that the victim had been “ brain washed “ ( I think it is now called “ Destructive Social Influence “ ) and perhaps she dissociated to the extent that she was unable to register what was really happening. Anyway, I so appreciate how you “ got “ what happens in these abusive relationships and why it is so hard for the victims to extricate themselves. That is why your movies are so important. Thank you.
Blessings -
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Hi Tatjana –
Glad that you found the movie thought provoking. Although it was “hollywoodtized ” there was still a underlying true horror of what many women do live with an abusive partner. I’m not sure if the full length movie you are making will expand on your short, but if it does, you already have the part where the couple is going to the party and then afterwards, shows him chewing her out about her behavior. In the full length version, maybe you could show them at the party having a good time together, and then later at home ( as you already showed) with him getting out of bed and berating her – that would be a good example of gas lighting and intermittent reinforcement too. Kind of what sleeping with the enemy showed – all writers and musicians build on each other’s work. Anyway, I started a forum topic about sharing healing movies recently. You might get some other movie ideas from the suggestions that I made – unless you are on a tight schedule to get your script finished! I wish you much success.
Blessings
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