What do dreams mean?

[funluvmusic25]

Just wondering if anyone has had similar experiences and what do dreams mean?

Prior to going NC with my ex-N I used to have dreams about him that left me longing for our next conversation and wondering when we would see each other since our relationship was long distance.

After 15 months of NC my dreams now typically have my ex-N visiting me and telling me all the things he’s going to do that only involve him. Every dream always ends with him going back to a very dark, dank, creepy house in the middle of nowhere. I wake up with a feeling of confirmation that my decision to go NC was the right one.

Has anyone had a similar experience and what do you think it means?

[emilie18]

Your brain is an amazing recorder. It takes in every single thing that happens but only lets you see what is important to the here and now…thus a LOT of data is stored but not processed or interpreted. Dreams are your mind’s way of dumping all the data it has not yet brought into your active consciousness, but not in an particularly ordered, cohesive or often understandable way – it’s like a jumbled collage of emotions, images and memories. A very wise person once told me to interpret dreams based on the emotions that are left behind…how did it make you feel? What was the overlying feeling during and after the dream? So when I dream of being lost in a big city, wandering unknown streets and opening door after door that lead to weird rooms I don’t interpret it based on being lost, alone and afraid — I remember how I felt during the dream then think on how that relates to my here and now. In that particular dream, my emotions were mostly frustration – and I could relate that to my feelings of not knowing which way my relationship at the time was going and then make some decisions about where I wanted it to go. So – the question is – how did the dream leave you feeling? What were you feeling during the dream? Forget what was happening in the dream – that is irrelevant — look to the emotions. You say your dream left you knowing you made a good decision. I would guess the main feelings were boredom/frustration (he talked only of himself), and schadenfreude (he returns to the middle of nowhere). Very apt!

[funluvmusic25]

emilie18: Thank you for your enlightening post and interpretation of my dreams! From now on I will definitely pay attention to my emotions before and after the dreams.

Before NC these types of dreams would have left me trying harder to please and do whatever he wanted as he continued to move the goal posts further away. It also would bring a lot of compassion on my part for the lonely place he would call home. Surely, my home would have been more well suited for him…….or so I thought!

Now after 15 months of NC these dreams bring clarity to what I’m really feeling…….frustration towards his self centered ways that will never change. When he visits in my dreams he brings a lot of flash, fancy clothes and jewelry just for show, yet he always returns to his lonely, creepy place in the middle of nowhere. I’m sure this place is where he can take off his mask and no one is the wiser. This tells me he is quite satisfied with his lot in life and the constant games he plays to fool people.

I might have questioned my thoughts when I received his holiday card and the voicemail message using another phone number that he left on my birthday, yet my dreams brought me back to reality knowing things would never change and it was just more of his game playing to lure me back in.

I will certainly be paying attention to my emotions when these dreams come again.
Thank you so much for this helpful awakening!

[Donna Andersen]

On a similar vein, dreams are also one of the ways in which we process the emotions of our experiences and get them out of our system.

Stacey Vornbrock, who presents our webinars on EFT tapping, says the emotions are processed in 3 ways – dreams, talking and tapping.

I remember an incident, years ago, when I was rear-ended while in my car. It was dark, I was stopped, and I could see the car approaching in my rear-view mirror. He didn’t quite stop in time and I was hit. Not a bad accident, but I was shaken. And for weeks I was carrying around tension in my back.

Then I had a dream about the accident, and the tension was released. It didn’t bother me any longer.

Similar things happened with my memories about my sociopathic ex. So dreams can be a processing mechanism.

[funluvmusic25]

Donna; I am all for processing my emotions and getting them out of my system! Your car accident experience and the dream that followed is both fascinating and intriguing.

I’ve never thought of it as a way to process my feelings and help me heal. What better way though? Since I’m sleeping it doesn’t take up any of my time and I feel confident in my choice of NC when I awake. Cheers to the healing of dreams!

[Author]

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