LOVEFRAUD TO THE NEXT LEVEL: Let’s pitch Oprah and other media

Lovefraud should be on Oprah. I can’t tell you how many times people have told me that. I agree.  So let’s contact Oprah and tell her—along with other media outlets.

Lovefraud educates people about sociopaths. Sociopaths are the most destructive element of the human race, but few people know they exist. And, because they don’t know about these predators, people are victimized.

Oprah probably has the world’s biggest media platform, and she talks about important issues. The issue of sociopaths is incredibly important. A show that informs her audience about these dangerous predators could make a huge difference in the lives of millions of people.

The Oprah.com website includes a form in which you can e-mail the producers. So let’s do it. Click on the link below. Tell Oprah’s producers why you think Lovefraud should be on the show.

Contact the Oprah producers

Maybe, if hundreds of us contact the Oprah show, they’ll take the pitch seriously.

And while you’re at it, if you have any other broadcast contacts—TV or radio—please suggest a show on the topic of sociopaths. I am prepared to talk about:

  • The social predators among us, and how to avoid them
  • Why smart women fall for con men
  • Dangers of online dating
  • Why sociopaths get away with exploiting people
  • Spiritual lessons from a run-in with a sociopath
  • Betrayal, recovery and transformation in the book “Love Fraud—How marriage to a sociopath fulfilled my spiritual plan”

I am also happy to do interviews with reporters from newspapers, magazines or websites. Anything to get the word out.

When something happens that seems to involve a sociopath—I know you can spot the news stories, because many of you send me the links to articles that I’ve been posting—producers and reporters are often looking for experts to explain what has happened. I’m always happy to do that.

The objective, as always, is to educate people about these disordered individuals, hopefully before they are exploited. Here are some links that members of the media may find helpful.

Lovefraud.com Press Center

Lovefraud Book Media page

Lovefraud.com News

Donna Andersen in the news

Lovefraud.com Speaking

Posted in: Donna Andersen

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123 Comments on "LOVEFRAUD TO THE NEXT LEVEL: Let’s pitch Oprah and other media"

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Well, I guess the old timers should do that since there does not seem to be room for others with conflicting opinions here. I will be happy to tell Oprah that. Not really a healing place with resources…just a another chat room or blog with a hierarchy.

I have felt this over and over again posting here.

I’m not going to disagree with you, I’ve felt a bit of that sometimes, but it is very rare, especially compared with how bad it is on every other site.
Sorry you’ve felt badly when you’ve posted. I know that the vast majority of people here are good, but we all have our quirks and not everyone gets us each time we post.
You should have seen the big uproar from some things I said last year! BLAH!
People still get down on me for that, but so what, I’m doing my best.
Is it ok if I give you a hug? ((?))

skylar, you are correct…it is worse on other sites.But, I am still very fragile and it hurts when the same people run on and on and don’t know how to apologize or acknowledge that they have maybe made a mistake.

skylar (((HUGS))). I also just lost my job (my boss was a very difficult narcissist) so I am kinda lost in space right now.


I agree with skylar – most of the posters are good-hearted people, trying to help each other (to the best of their ability) maneuver through this confusing recovery (and/or healing) process. I don’t consider myself to be part of a hierarchy – I come and go as needed (getting info. that suits me), posting some, then I’m off. I like reading your posts because they’re often helpful to read, gleaning some insight(s) (from many of them), helping me get a little further down the road. Take care.

Jazzy, I’m not sure why you feel that way or why you think there is no room for conflicting opinions here…we have conflicting opinions all the time…they are called ideas! They are like noses, everyone’s got one.

I realize you are raw, and sometimes have indicated you felt neglected or ignored here, but believe me, if I have made you feel neglected or ignored, it was not intentional and if someone else said anything nasty to you, I didn’t see it, so I do hope you will stick around, if not..godspeed, my hopes and prayers for your healing.

I doubt Oprah would care. She’s powerful and knows how to rid of any problem (or people) she has. But I guess it’s worth a try:)

Better than not trying at all, right. I am not a victim, I don’t think, but I can definitely add my support. I’m still reading this site learning about sociopaths. They sound like horrible destructive people.


I am sorry to hear about your job loss – that has to be difficult for you. Hopefully, there will be something positive come out of it. Also, we all can feel alone – you are “heard” when you post, all of us wanting the best for you. Peace.

Well, of course you do, bluejay. I see you infrequently, so i get to hear the real you…from the gut. I have faced this before, the same posters who have the most experience and know everything. Who will not acknowledge that they have maybe made a mistake.

I am just a lady who has experienced the best and the worst of life. I was terribly betrayed by someone who I now know was a sociopath…that is how I found Lovefraud.

From what i have seen, Lovefraud is just a chat room for the elders now.

I need this place. I need the validation that I encountered evil. I don’t know where else to go, but I need Lovefraud to be better than what i have encountered.

Oxy, I know you do not mean that.

“I didn’t see it, so I do hope you will stick around, if not..godspeed, my hopes and prayers for your healing.”

Sorry, but I see that as a load of crap and an excellent way of avoiding any acknowledgment of your ‘Holier than thou’ attitude.

Oh, that felt so good! I said it, i really let go!

Jazzy, if it makes you feel “so good” to ascribe ulterior motives to my posts, and to “read my mind” as to what those motives and attitudes are, then I do think that you definitely have some healing to do. I do think though that it is best if you and I do not interact while you feel the way you have indicated toward me. In the future I will no longer reply to your posts.

Fine. i just see yours as boring and not helpful..blah..blah..blahs.

Where did I say I ‘read your mind’? Do not put words in my mouth. you have a very strong personality. that is not always a good thing.

‘Read my mind’ gas-lighting.

jazzy? what kind of support do you hope to find with this attitude? should we all have a time limit on lovefraud? old timer’s and elder’s? if you dont care for our comment’s just skip on to the next, that is the kind thing to do.


Did something happen via this website that was upsetting to you? For me, reading the different posts, learning from others’ experiences, that is important to me. I don’t tell everything about myself, how I am progressing. I am figuring this stuff out as I go along. We have seen wickedness up-close and it isn’t easy to wrap your head around it. I still question – why me? – for the experiences that I’ve had were ROTTEN, unbelievable (as were yours), coming by way of my husband. I have been knocked down (figuratively speaking) by the one person who you should be able to trust completely. I know that you have faced hard times (past and present), myself being in the same boat. You will prevail. I personally don’t understand why things have to be difficult for some people (seemingly more so for some people). I see us as being like a building, each part supporting the total structure. The older posters are doing their part to assist the “newbies” in getting better, healing. I am going down the road, taking what I’m learning (going at a snail’s pace), but I’m getting to the goal (peace of mind). Keep plugging along.

Thank you, bluejay, for acknowledging me. First of all, i like to help. i have tried to point newbies to services that can help with trauma and PTSD after encountering a sociopath.

I never knew what a sociopath was before i met my ex spath hole. I never realized that there were such evil people in the world.

I have been here on and off for the past 2 years. From my view point, there are posters here that go on and on about their stories and healing and what you should do. Some people seem healed enough to me that perhaps they are not helping and seem to be in an ivory tower and they know all the answers.

well, if you know everything, then i guess this is just a chat room.

Hi, hens. just saw your comment. i just feel that there are some people here who dominate the discussions, and I have to kow tow to them or be invisible.

If I disagree, well. there are repercussions….like now. having to explain myself. i’m not a dummy. i go to therapy…I read the books. i know when someone is pulling rank.

There should be no rank here. There should only be sharing and help.


My perspective is that each poster is trying to be helpful, genuinely being concerned about each other. Sometimes I don’t respond to what others post, feeling inadequate about giving advice. I know that you care about others – it comes across in your posts. When it comes to chatting with others (on this website), I don’t do a lot of that, not being completely comfortable about doing so (part of my personality). You come across as being angry and I’m trying to figure out if there was a specific incident that got you upset – what happened and how to fix it?

Thank you, again, bluejay. I know what you mean about feeling inadequate and giving advice. The best i can do is give information about resources available. I think that should be more prominent here. I really hope I was able to provide phone numbers and websites to help in times of crisis.

yes, I’m angry. I have the feeling that long time posters here dominate the posts, post crap, and make bad judgment calls…but they don’t have to apologize.

It seems like it’s all ego, and not real caring here.

I don’t have any ‘friends’ here. I don’t email anyone i met here. I came here for help and healing. Sorry if I’m not in the ‘in’ crowd. I don’t email anyone and talk about what is posted here.


jazzy129 – i have had my challenges here, also. the thing i have found that worked for me is to at times: not reading posts by people whose writing I really didn’t connect with; avoid posters i felt abused by; and directly and relentlessly challenging ideas about what i was doing/ should be doing, that i didn’t agree with. And also, developing relationships with the posters who i do feel have something to offer me.

it’s not been easy to do some of those things. but the more i do these things to stand for myself, the more at ease i am with the hierarchy.

I am really sorry that you are without a job. but i am really glad you are away from that situation. anything we can do to help around getting another job? ((((((((hugs))))))))


I have to put my daughter to bed. What I want to get across to you is that the information that you pass along is helpful to others. Sometimes advice that is given may not be a “good fit” for a person who is going through a hard time – that person has to figure out his/her own solution(s). I am not a know-it-all (never have been and never will be) – I have not experienced any mean-spiritidness by anyone on this website, each person trying to help me along. I will do the same for others (as will you). Oxy has been through her own hellish experiences, doing her best to be “a voice” to others, being able to advise them. She’s doing the best that she can, KNOWING what it’s like to have encounters with sociopaths/psychopaths (it’s traumatizing). I do not discount anyone’s experiences. Be gentle toward yourself and others (my own advice).

Hi, one step! Yes, i am getting help from a therapist from the Dept. of Mental Help in my state. One of the services is job location, and i am in line for that.

Thank you, thank you, thank you. I need to be here. i want to be here. It is just difficult sometimes to avoid people who are always freaking posting stiff that I don’t agree with. Who think they know everything, and email others so they can feel better about themselves.

I have always found it hard to stand up for myself…and after the stalking and slander by my ex it has been really hard. But, i am not going to back down. I was bullied and slandered online by the ex spath, and I don’t want to take it anymore.

hey bluejay. hope your daughter sleeps well. Yes, I don’t what an ’em-path’ really entails, but I sure feel it here. I am going to listen to my gut this time. I will not have words put in my mouth or be gas lighted again.

Hugs!!! Woman!!! I just wanted to say HI and HUGZZZZ!

OMG! not crazee! I’ve missed you! Sorry i’m so angry…what can i say? Trying to stay true to myself. How are you?!


jazzy – i think this is an opportunity, take up the challenge if you can. I have seen a couple of posters here really post and post about some conflict here – and everyone (i think) came out the better for it.

i think two thing shappen – we get to the bottom of what needs to transform within us, and we ‘knock the rough edges’ off one another. all we have to do is try. and be brave. and try some more, and be a bit braver, and as we go we are less threatened by people and more able to give them the benefit of the doubt – even IF they are hopeless windbags. (not saying anyone is, but you get my drift 😉
when we stand for ourselves, even, and maybe especially if we are a bit off side, we learn alot.

so, don’t take it. i now what it’s like – the online attack. it sucks and it makes every online interaction a bit suspect…so don’t, don’t take it.

about emailing others – it has saved my life on many dark days. things i couldn’t say in a public forum that needed to be said, got said. and i healed.

Aren’t I just a bitchin’ piss-pot? Tired of getting run over by these narcissists. Been there, done that. I wrote Oprah, too, you know.

Hi one step. You’re right, but I’m tired. Already been through this. i thought this was a safe place to go. It’s not. The N’s and P’s are everywhere. I can see them pretty clearly now.

yes, I’m angry. I have the feeling that long time posters here dominate the posts, post crap, and make bad judgment calls”but they don’t have to apologize.

It seems like it’s all ego, and not real caring here.

Jazzy the above post is so correct!!!!! I agree! But know that there is true caring here! I CARE about you and your recovery being a survivior from an spath! You will get your life back, I promise, I am trying to get mine, I actually have been going through Christmas decorations for the first time in 5 years. BIG STEP for me, how have you been doing? Have you been in the back yard lately? I stayed away from LF for a week. needed a break form the dominating irritataing situation like you spoke of!

crazee. I went into the front yard! Can you believe that!!?? I thought about you when i was out there! Vacuuming and mulching. Only was out there for an hour or an hour and a half, but I did it! Not healed though…still keep the front door locked, but I am opening the blinds. Progress!

Getting late here, but so very nice to hear from you! (((hugs))) Jazzy

crazee…are you putting up a Christmas tree?

OMG,,,,, Jazzy how great!!! I am so proud of you woman!!!!! Do it again and again and again!!!

crazee, time for bed. Can you believe I went in the front yard!!?? You were a big help with that! I can’t believe I did it! I did it!

Have an inspector coming early tomorrow. Need to get some work done on the house.

Talk to you tomorrow I hope? Thanks, crazee. Love and big hugs.

Just saw you post! Thank you, crazee. Got it. Thank you, hon. thank you for not letting me down.

Hugzzz Jazzy!!! Keep up the good work! Front yard… blinds open!!! YIPEEE!!!!!!!! You are doing great!!!!!!! I am so proud of you woman!!!!!!
I posted my email….. email me if you want! I deleted it.. but whatever happens… happens!
and YES! I told Oprah about Donna also! She needs this endorsement!

Sweet Dreams and I would keep the front door locked myself! there is nothing wrong with that. Just a piece of mind safety factor! I’m going to sign off for tonight! I don’t want to get annoyed and you being in the front yard put a smile on my heart!

Well Donna,

This is not the 1st time that I wrote to Oprah about http://www.lovefraud.com. This would have been the 2nd time I have done that.

I am still frustrated, because he is not ending our marriage. Can I ask lovefraud to set up a blog space for us to blog? So that whatever I can blog about this monster would not get taken down again. I really need to expose the truth about this guy before more will get hurt!

hens :

” if you dont care for our comment’s just skip on to the next, that is the kind thing to do”

I’m with you on the notion of doing the kind thing here. x

We have all been through so very much. I can’t honestly believe that (apart from those “flaming grey rocks”, as someone (I think Skylar or Jazzy or One??? Sorry, old lady memory) recently posted) any of us have come here to hurt or to offend.

We are such a mix of personalities – and that’s a very GOOD thing; just think of the points of view and opinions we can all share and benefit from (by taking what suits us and our own situations and leaving the rest for someone else who they WILL suit) that we might not otherwise have access to, either because our “real-life” social circle might not embrace some of these various personalities (and that’s OKAY…) or because we are presently so buried still in our pain and the fall-out from what we have endured at the hands of the REAL BAD PEOPLE!!!

I am gregarious and welcoming by nature and have friends of all ages and personalities. I am often friends with people who others dislike or cannot get along with. Yet over the past 3 years, I have become a virtual hermit. As well as I might sometimes sound, I’m still licking those wounds.

I expect to be this way for some time yet. It’s sad, because I miss “my people” – but I’m just not ready to get back out there yet.

I’m so grateful that I have all of you guys – whoever you really are – wherever it is that you live – however long you have been here – whatever your age and experience – whatever is is that you have lived through and continue to live through.

Thank you all from the bottom of my shrivelled little heart, because everything you post has helped me. xx


I will fill out a form, sending it off to Oprah. Hopefully, it will help shed a light on this disorder, educating the public about it. God bless you, Donna.


I agree, liking the mix of people (coming from all walks of life). Personally, I am not going to attack anyone here – everyone has been through enough already. Each person needs encouragement, sympathy, and understanding. There are times when I don’t agree with the advice that is handed down by another poster (speaking about no one in particular), taking what I can use and plugging it into my own situation. I like reading others stories, helping when I can. I am not going to insist that anyone do something MY WAY or else (I also don’t have the impression that this occurs here). That’s rubbish. Each person can decide what he/she will do in their own situation, making smart choices (and sometimes not so smart choices) for themselves. It’s an imperfect world that we live in, so we can be imperfect (just not deliberately hurtful toward others).

Hi Jazzy. I’m sorry that you are feeling angry and unhappy with your experience here.

I agree with the above posters who said that not all advise given is a good fit for every one of us. We all need to find what works for us, and what works for me may not work for you, but, I do believe that it is given in the spirit of good will.

Years ago, I was in AA and severly depressed. I struggled with that depression for two years, then finally asked a Dr. for anti-depressants. Within a couple of weeks, I felt so much better. People said I even looked different. But my sponser had very strong feelings about taking medications in recovery. This became a sore spot between us, and it was a controversey that was bandied about a lot in the program.

I went to a meeting one time, and a new-comer was there and talking about this very issue, saying how very depressed he was and thought he should be on meds, but his sponser said, no.
Well, two weeks later he was dead, and I was angry. Very, very angry, but I didn’t stop going to AA, I just had to realize that I can disagree, and sometimes I owe it to myself to disagree.

Also, Jazzy, please remember that some of the oldtimers are retired and don’t have jobs to go to, or some of the other pressing things and time-constraints that others might have and so they spend more time here, and it’s only natural to build stronger and more intimate relationships when that happens. I agree that sometimes it seems a little cliqueish, and I, too have occasionally felt over-looked…but ussually, if I’m patient and persistant, I find that I wasn’t really being over-looked at all. I hope you find that this is your experience also. I truly hope you choose to stick around and I agree with One-step that this is probably a very important growing opportunity for you.

I’m glad you’re here, and I’m gladd that we are all here.

Sorry about your job, and I hope that problem is resolved for you, soon.

kim frederick,

I have a lot of things to get done before going to work this afternoon. I hope that you’re enjoying your new home, that things are going well for you. Have a good day!


You don’t know me, I’m very new, but I have read some of your posts and I really, really, really wanted you to get your cottage.
I hope that you did, or if not, that something equally lovely-sounding worked out for you. x

Hi Bluejay and Aussie. Yes, I got my little cottage/cabin. Get this: it has a plaque on the front of the house from our historical society, here, that says 1754. That was when it was built. It is so cozy and cute and I have the little white Christmas lights strung along the porch-railing and the little candle lamps in the windows. I went out and cut some cedar branches and some holly sprigs, picked up a couple of pine cones and made a swag for my front door.
But, I am battling some lonliness and boredom. I am trying to find a knitting group in town.
I made my first rag rug from instructions I found on-line. It’s very rustic and homey looking, but It doesn’t want to lie flat…it’s very puffy, so if I make another one, I will need to figure out what to do to fix that.

THanks again for asking about my cottage. I hope all is well for the both of you.

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