Wishing you a happy, healthy and peaceful 2011!

It’s a New Year—another opportunity for a new beginning.

Of course, some of us have already embarked on new beginnings. I am always amazed, and gratified, to watch the journeys of recovery of so many Lovefraud readers.

People show up in tatters—betrayed, shocked and devastated. They gradually come to grips with what has happened. They seek help for extricating themselves from terrible situations, and the Lovefraud community offers advice, information and moral support. Eventually, feeling stronger and wiser, they turn around and help the most recent new arrivals, who have also shown up in tatters.

So here we are, in different stages of our healing journeys. Sometimes we slide back, but we are making forward progress.

I hope that in 2011 we all grow in strength and resolve. Let’s commit to:

  • Taking care of ourselves.
  • Heeding red flags when we see them.
  • Listening to our instincts.
  • Recognizing our own self-worth.
  • Walking in the direction that we want to go.

When we believe in ourselves, anything is possible. Happy New Year!

Posted in: Donna Andersen

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76 Comments on "Wishing you a happy, healthy and peaceful 2011!"

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Happy new year and a big happy new year to gemimagirl.

I just thought I would add something before everyone goes cutting cords LOL. Yes I write extensively about it which is which my book Dark Souls is about “healing from toxic relationships” its a workbook as well. including another of other interesting excercises.

However….. you must want to break free as gemima say. I facilitate cord cutting but often people will cord cut only for them to reattach a few days weeks later either because the spath or narc energetically wants to “get back” by hurting the victim- yes this does happen !!! or because the target (victim) just doesn’t want to let go. I always advise anyone if they are having difficulty doing it themselves to find a facilitator. Kaleah LaRoche is very good as are a number of other practictions but they have to “get” the whole narc/spath energy dynamic. Once you have managed to break those cords then you are able to faciliate yourself.
I have seen people make dramatic health shifts after doing these sessions. that have kept them stuck for years. Often when they do the cord cutting on their own they automatically visualise the person they are immediately in relationship with. When they do it with a facitator they are usually surprised to find its someone they least expected. If the victim has come from a background of childhood abuse if may often be the person that first abused them when they where a child. Cutting the cords with all the people involved has a big impact.
No contact is great but its the energetic links that you cannot easily break. Once they have gone everything shifts in such a big way. Hence everyones comments about Gemimagirl sounding different. We are no longer stuck in there energy field. Its interestesting because I was listening to an interview that came in my inbox the other day from a wiccan women that explained the dynamic perfectly. She was talking about breakups and feeling broken hearted. Anyone can feel broken hearted even when the relationship ended amicably. “When you have cords with anyone. When you continue to feel pain you are energetically feeling it via the cords you still have with them. If for example the relationship ended badly (or worse you had a relationship with a sociopath) and they are angry at your for ending it you will continue to feel their anger and pain via those cords”. This is why many victims continue to feel angry for so long afterwards not because “they” are still necessarily angry but because on an energetic level they are still picking up their sociopaths gunk!
So get cutting !



I am very aware of tendrils and empathic connections to people i have been involved with. I haven’t yet gotten rid of all the tendrils with my n ex – although have cleared the majority of them.
i still hear her calling to me, after 2 years of nc.

now, the spath – i shut down my ability to hear her while i was in the throes of the d+d. mostly. it’s times, like now, as i start to open up a bit, that i can hear the sly bitch. it is unnerving. it’s a nuisance program at least and a sucking into the slimy void at worst. but i also know it’s a two way street – she must also feel my rage at times, but as she is spath that’s probably food for her.

Hi One!!
As I tried to leave alot of baggage behind in 2010 now that I have an understanding of what happened to me. I had a very pleasant dream(nightmare) with the xspath in it. He was so pleasant and such my caring friend…. I freaked when i woke up. WTF was that? Now that I am trying to leave it behind and all the anger that goes with it…. I’m going to start haveing pleasant dreams of him?? I’d rather stay angry!!! But I’m exhaused being angry all the time… I’m just trying to do what is best for me now!

Wishing the same to everyone here. 🙂

I just wonder why it is that we traditionally wish people a “merry” Christmas and a “happy” New Year. It seems to me it should be the other way round. People generally are happy enough at Christmas (and merry too, to be sure), but it’s on New Year’s when they get REALLY merry! See them staggering and hiccuping all over the place… 😉

No ordinary,
Thank you so much for your encouragement!Im still getting shocking wind pains, and I presume this has something to do with all the trapped energies trying to get out!
I was literally double dup with pain, wheeling my trolley to the car today, as if someone had stabbed me in the right side!
This evening the pain has moved to my lower back below the kidney area.Ill be glad when its finally gone!
Thanks Oxy, especially for your encouraging words. You are the queen of metaphor, and paint such vivid and helpful word pictures.
EB, How are you today, darlin? I know your going thru such a rough time.Its times like this that the love and caring of Lovefraud is almost tangible, thank god and Donna for it!I hope you move thru this awful pain soon, and things get resolved, or Re–Solved!!. Much Love, geminigirlXX

Happy New Year Every1! Hope everyone here at lovefraud had a pleasant holidays. I wish every1 here love, peace, prosperity, and joy this New Year!

To New beginnings!


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