Someone has to tell me what do you know about tranceing/ hypnotizing

My ex psychopath used hypnotic techniques on me especially at the beginning of the ‘relationship.’ I probably would not have gotten involved with him without the element of hypnosis and the suggestions I made.

It sounds like your ex is a skilled manipulator. Consider that he probably uses everything he knows about you as an individual to control you – what your personal sensitivities are, your vulnerabilities, your strengths. He sounds dangerous.

It takes time to recover, and NC is your number one defense. He is harmful to you. He can’t harm you as much if you don’t have contact with him.

If you google “psychopaths and hypnotic techniques” or similar you’ll find information. Here’s a good article: http://psychopathsandlove.com/psychopaths-use-trance-and-hypnosis-to-get-and-keep-victims/

Spaths are dangerous to the point of death. They have caused deaths, both directly via poisoning and other forms of murder, and indirectly through extreme psychological torture. I relate to feeling suicidal and to chanting to myself. This is what evil is.

Here’s something that helped me a lot. It’s a guided relaxation that reprograms the listener’s mind to be free of the spath’s control. You can listen to a sample of it here. It’s about 45 minutes long. I listened to it every night before going to sleep for over a year. It worked slowly and gradually, but the positive change in my minset was very strong and empowering. It did a lot to bring me back to my normal self. http://saferelationshipsmagazine.com/guided-relaxation-for-repairing-the-aftermath-of-pathological-love-relationships

I think you’re wise to be cautious. I used this guided relaxation for meditation and to retrain my mind to think the way I want to think based on reality, not the crazy way my ex spath wanted me to think. Meditation can be a mild form of self hypnosis. Learning a skill like dancing or singing by practicing something repeatedly trains our brains in a similar way. Another example is studying facts to learn them for a test.
The Bible tells us to meditate on good things (Philippians 4:8) and to meditate on God’s Word (Psalm 1:2, Psalm 119:97-98), because it builds a strong and healthy mind.

Ladybugg – Psychopaths absolutely use hypnosis, so it is not your imagination.

Sorry that you fell off the NC wagon, but the good news is that you felt badly about it, which will help you get back on the wagon and stay there.

Ladybugg,

Is there anyway that you can get away for awhile, like maybe visit a friend or family in another town somewhere for a few days? It has got to be triggering your emotions knowing he is so close by. For years, I had panic attacks that lasted for 3 days after having contact with my ex spath. I would be bedridden for several days, literally. If someone just mentioned him or I ran across him in social media, I would get upset.

You might consider what to do in the long term to get farther away from him.

Ladybugg,

You might find this article about the aftermath of a pathological relationship helpful. http://saferelationshipsmagazine.com/?s=cracked+vessel

It’s hard to try to explain the subtle and underhanded turning and twisting of reality, but I think I understand what he’s sayi8ng and doing to you and how it feels to you, because it is classic spath behavior. It’s difficult to understand if you’ve never been victimized by a spath, but when the victim eventually figures it out, it’s the same playbook for all spaths. Like you said, same BS different day. It’s crazy making frustrating, but they don’t change because they like making their victims feel awful. They are smug and they smirk. It enrages me. I think of Romans 12:19, God promises that He will administer justice according to His perfect knowledge and perfect will.

Every time I had contact with my ex spath, it took me a week to recover. I literally wouldn’t get out of bed for a couple of days. After a year or so, it only took me 2-3 days. Even if I just heard something about him from someone else in conversation. The longer I was free of him, the bette it got, though. Now I can hear about him without it bothering me. I have no idea what it would be like to see him in person. It’s been years. I hope I never have to encounter him again.

I know what you mean about feeling so distracted and strung out that you can’t concentrate on anything. I did my best to pray, and began with asking God to help me focus my mind so I could think straight enough to pray. You are doing the best you can, and that’s enough. One of spath’s torture sports is to set us up to keep trying to do something that’s impossible to do – like make a relationship work while they make it impossible and then blame the victim. It takes awhile, but you will get back to organized thinking. I tried to just focus on one thing – like doing the dishes or some other task, and then the next thing. I was very scattered brained and had difficulty getting much done. I tried not to worry about it, it’s part of the recovery process.
It sounds like you are at the stage that is just the worst; you will feel better. It was a slow process for me, especially at first with so much pain and anger. It’s definitely a roller coaster of emotions – feels bipolar at times. That’s a normal part of the process too. I felt a little better after a few weeks, and a few months later much better. Now I’m happy. The key for me is no contact at all, not to hear about him from others nor to see anything even pertaining to him. I got rid of everything in my home that had anything to do with him – gave him his stuff back when I ran across it, gave away the clothes and jewelry he bought for me. I made a picture of a tombstone with his name on it and put it on the fridge. http://www.tombstonebuilder.com I quit referring to him by his first name when talking to my close friends and my son about him – I just used his unusual and ugly sounding last name.
There’s nothing wrong with you that you have a hard time letting go. You are normal, you bond with the person in a relationship. You loved the person he said he was. The way you feel is right and good, and it works very well in a committed relationship with a normal good man.
Psalm 55 is a good description of a spath turning on a victim who thought the spath was his friend.