How to recognize and recover from the sociopaths – narcissists in your life › Forums › Lovefraud Community Forum – General › Someone has to tell me what do you know about tranceing/ hypnotizing
July 15, 2016 at 11:13 pm #39430
I have already descovered that at the begining of my relationship he had me look into his eyes for five minutes at a time saying it was a trust exercise and I am sorry to say tonight I fell off the NC wagon but I am kinda glad I did because I think I picked up on something. Anytime I asked him how he felt about me cuz he never gave me nothing to go by no more. He would constantly say “your here aren’t you” I noticed today when I was texted him I said over and over “I just wanna be there” I have never said that before! I don’t even know why I was saying it! I might add he just started saying this your here aren’t you like the past two months after I tried NC for about 2 months and it got worse and worse everyday instead of better. (I had not yet been told he was a psycopath and had me addicted to him at that time) I know more now but today My mind just kept saying I want to be there I just want to be there. I can’t help but think the two things are related. I don’t know what is happening to me. That’s pathetic sounding I know but has anyone experienced this! Thx
July 16, 2016 at 2:00 am #39593
My ex psychopath used hypnotic techniques on me especially at the beginning of the ‘relationship.’ I probably would not have gotten involved with him without the element of hypnosis and the suggestions I made.
It sounds like your ex is a skilled manipulator. Consider that he probably uses everything he knows about you as an individual to control you – what your personal sensitivities are, your vulnerabilities, your strengths. He sounds dangerous.
It takes time to recover, and NC is your number one defense. He is harmful to you. He can’t harm you as much if you don’t have contact with him.
If you google “psychopaths and hypnotic techniques” or similar you’ll find information. Here’s a good article: http://psychopathsandlove.com/psychopaths-use-trance-and-hypnosis-to-get-and-keep-victims/
July 16, 2016 at 8:24 am #39596
Ya I think so since he can have me wanted to commit suicide in like 2 min of talking and have me out of my fucking mind chanting things to my fucking self causing me to panic ya’ll want the best price of the fucking puzzle for me he lives across the fucking Rd Literally.
How do I get over it I am going out of my fucking mind sweating buckets and truly just want to fucking die!! No exaggeration that is the only fucking way out at this point!!
July 16, 2016 at 9:26 am #39597
Spaths are dangerous to the point of death. They have caused deaths, both directly via poisoning and other forms of murder, and indirectly through extreme psychological torture. I relate to feeling suicidal and to chanting to myself. This is what evil is.
Here’s something that helped me a lot. It’s a guided relaxation that reprograms the listener’s mind to be free of the spath’s control. You can listen to a sample of it here. It’s about 45 minutes long. I listened to it every night before going to sleep for over a year. It worked slowly and gradually, but the positive change in my minset was very strong and empowering. It did a lot to bring me back to my normal self. http://saferelationshipsmagazine.com/guided-relaxation-for-repairing-the-aftermath-of-pathological-love-relationships
July 16, 2016 at 9:50 am #39598
But is this it’s self hypnosis? I don’t know I am asking. I am scared and I just want this all to stop! Thank you for suggesting it at this point I think I will try anything!
July 16, 2016 at 10:11 am #39599
I think you’re wise to be cautious. I used this guided relaxation for meditation and to retrain my mind to think the way I want to think based on reality, not the crazy way my ex spath wanted me to think. Meditation can be a mild form of self hypnosis. Learning a skill like dancing or singing by practicing something repeatedly trains our brains in a similar way. Another example is studying facts to learn them for a test.
The Bible tells us to meditate on good things (Philippians 4:8) and to meditate on God’s Word (Psalm 1:2, Psalm 119:97-98), because it builds a strong and healthy mind.
July 16, 2016 at 10:48 am #39600
Thank you for validating my concern if it is more meditation that makes me feel better. Hypnosis is an occult tool and I learned that at the healing I went to where praise the lord I was delivered of many things. So I would not do it (ha ha guess I have been) but not willingly and I think God knows the difference I will concentrate on psalms thank you AnnettePK I already feel better know the hypnosis and tranceing is real!! It explains why I keep having these strong pulling thoughts that I can can trace back to phrases he uses all the time. I am in DEEP I need God to help me! I can’t do anything with out him and right now he is being silent! Thank you so much for all your help God Bless You!!
July 17, 2016 at 3:11 pm #39601
Ladybugg – Psychopaths absolutely use hypnosis, so it is not your imagination.
Sorry that you fell off the NC wagon, but the good news is that you felt badly about it, which will help you get back on the wagon and stay there.
July 19, 2016 at 11:11 am #39609
ok my panicking is getting so bad that I just want to leave I want to leave the memories. My Spath lives right across the street and it is driving me crazy!! I totaly understand it all now why I feel this intense obsession what the luring and love bombing stage was for. that I can just throw any of the affects of the devaluing stage out the window because it was all designed to confuse and destroy me!
I just can’t shake the wanting to run away from it all. He’s done with me I don’t play right. I don’t believe his nonsense and he knows he will never convince me. he can’t be normal and just love someone and I get that ,but the feelings make me nuts.
July 19, 2016 at 11:13 am #39610
oh that’s right AnnettePK I just remembered my CD should come today that you said should help reverse this!
July 19, 2016 at 3:35 pm #39613
Is there anyway that you can get away for awhile, like maybe visit a friend or family in another town somewhere for a few days? It has got to be triggering your emotions knowing he is so close by. For years, I had panic attacks that lasted for 3 days after having contact with my ex spath. I would be bedridden for several days, literally. If someone just mentioned him or I ran across him in social media, I would get upset.
You might consider what to do in the long term to get farther away from him.
July 19, 2016 at 5:06 pm #39614
I was gonna leave but I can’t my whole life is here. I use to think it was sweet when he said he was staying right there now from what I know he would probably enjoy the fact that it haunts me! I just have to try my hardest to not think about it. not contact him and NOT let him know I am hurting in anyway! Which is all I want to do…..stupid cuz he does not care and I know that! I just have to fight how I feel there is a very good part in that new book psycopaths free abount manufactured emotions…The emotions that are tearing me apart he built I have to remember that.
He constantly would ryle me up and then tell me I had no self control and I need help. the more and more he did it the less self control I had. This book is really helping me. I am really just trying to get through the days..that’s it. I am reading and reading the more I learn the more I see clearly. thank you so much for your help and support there is strength in numbers and this forum is really helping me too!
July 19, 2016 at 6:56 pm #39615
You might find this article about the aftermath of a pathological relationship helpful. http://saferelationshipsmagazine.com/?s=cracked+vessel
July 31, 2016 at 7:25 pm #39657
I panicked and tried to talk to him again all he wanted to do was fight and accuse so I said I text you to talk not fight. I am not fightingðŸ˜Š I thought time would change something contacting you was a mistake and I blocked him againðŸ˜” I think he just keeps fighting and saying he can’t do this anymore because he wants it to look like he did nothing and I hurt him or wronged him in some way. Which I did in his eyes he wanted to change everything treat me like a second class citizen (when I was use to him treating me like a queen) and I couldn’t stand it he’d do his subtle cut downs and demand me around until I could not take it and have to leave! I am kinda glad he does not want to be nice because if he did I know I’d go over there. God only knows who he’s done since I have been gone! So he’s doing me a favor really. I only text him so this panic in me would stop. It’s always like “maybe I did not try hard enough” Every time I left it was only so I could get away and gather my mind. so I can go back with the loving disposition I want to put off. It does not matter though because it is project, project, accuse, accuse never ending have not talked to him in over a week and he starts in on the same thing we faught about last time. I said “we already did this I did not text to fight” my only solis is I did not say anything crazy. I just kept saying “well I tried” I feel things may be better now because I know he has no intension of being nice not even for a second he could care less that I walked away…I really know that now. I am depressed but not panicking cuz I tried to reach out once more and it was the same BS different day. So I guess I just try to forget it all!! Which when you can’t stop dreaming about them can’t stop thinking about them it seems near impossible. I was feeling so strong then that damn panick set in urg urg urggggggg!!ðŸ˜”ðŸ˜”ðŸ˜”â˜¹ï¸â˜¹ï¸â˜¹ï¸ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
July 31, 2016 at 7:40 pm #39658
It’s hard to try to explain the subtle and underhanded turning and twisting of reality, but I think I understand what he’s sayi8ng and doing to you and how it feels to you, because it is classic spath behavior. It’s difficult to understand if you’ve never been victimized by a spath, but when the victim eventually figures it out, it’s the same playbook for all spaths. Like you said, same BS different day. It’s crazy making frustrating, but they don’t change because they like making their victims feel awful. They are smug and they smirk. It enrages me. I think of Romans 12:19, God promises that He will administer justice according to His perfect knowledge and perfect will.
Every time I had contact with my ex spath, it took me a week to recover. I literally wouldn’t get out of bed for a couple of days. After a year or so, it only took me 2-3 days. Even if I just heard something about him from someone else in conversation. The longer I was free of him, the bette it got, though. Now I can hear about him without it bothering me. I have no idea what it would be like to see him in person. It’s been years. I hope I never have to encounter him again.
July 31, 2016 at 7:59 pm #39660
well I truly am glad he did not want to be nice. I am sure I have been replaced. I can’t figure out what goes on inside me that makes me not able to just ignore his existance and let go. I don’t want someone new I don’t want to start over. I put every bit of my heart into this! It’s NOT FAIR this is what my perfect love turned out to be I have TRIED and TRIED to fix it (before I knew it was unfixable) now I just wish reality was not as it is.
That is a good verse I will remember that! I tried reading the Bible to avoid contacting him,it did not help. I could not stop thinking about him enough to even read my bible! God I feel so screwed. I hate this when is it gonna stop hurting? It feels like it gets worse instead of better. I walked away when he would have let me stay. I am staying away against every fiber of what I WANT! The way he messed with me was just NOT EXPECTABLE!! why is there strength and then panics you can’t take? why does it all have to be this hard?ðŸ˜’
August 1, 2016 at 11:57 pm #39662
I know what you mean about feeling so distracted and strung out that you can’t concentrate on anything. I did my best to pray, and began with asking God to help me focus my mind so I could think straight enough to pray. You are doing the best you can, and that’s enough. One of spath’s torture sports is to set us up to keep trying to do something that’s impossible to do – like make a relationship work while they make it impossible and then blame the victim. It takes awhile, but you will get back to organized thinking. I tried to just focus on one thing – like doing the dishes or some other task, and then the next thing. I was very scattered brained and had difficulty getting much done. I tried not to worry about it, it’s part of the recovery process.
It sounds like you are at the stage that is just the worst; you will feel better. It was a slow process for me, especially at first with so much pain and anger. It’s definitely a roller coaster of emotions – feels bipolar at times. That’s a normal part of the process too. I felt a little better after a few weeks, and a few months later much better. Now I’m happy. The key for me is no contact at all, not to hear about him from others nor to see anything even pertaining to him. I got rid of everything in my home that had anything to do with him – gave him his stuff back when I ran across it, gave away the clothes and jewelry he bought for me. I made a picture of a tombstone with his name on it and put it on the fridge. http://www.tombstonebuilder.com I quit referring to him by his first name when talking to my close friends and my son about him – I just used his unusual and ugly sounding last name.
There’s nothing wrong with you that you have a hard time letting go. You are normal, you bond with the person in a relationship. You loved the person he said he was. The way you feel is right and good, and it works very well in a committed relationship with a normal good man.
Psalm 55 is a good description of a spath turning on a victim who thought the spath was his friend.
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