how to grey rock when I lose my nerve

I just discovered my ex-best friend (a guy, I’m a female) is a psychopath. Almost a year ago he turned our friendship on its head. You know the story…my marriage was falling apart, and he suddenly comes out with this story that he’s always had a thing for me and could we mess around a little bit? But it’s not big deal, of course, he says, because it’s not sex. I’m the kind of person who is bothered by even discussing such things with another man without my husband’s consent (and he always gives it). This ‘friend,’ who had always been the most amazing listener, always heaped praise on me, let me cry on his shoulder, you know the drill. He love-bombed me. Every monday by a certain time I’d have a text asking me how my weekend was. Every Monday by 3 he’d show up at my cube. Every Thursday by 3, if he hadn’t seen be again, he’d show up again. After a few months of messing around, he made it clear he wanted to sleep with me. I said only if our spouses said yes. Meanwhile, the whole relationship was still a secret.

And then he told me that his wife was pregnant and he’d known for two months. But oh, BTW, i was supposed to be thrilled for him, he said, with the most dead look in his eyes. Meanwhile I’d put my own plans to try to get pregnant with my husband on hold because I was in the middle of an affair of everything up to but not including sex. I kicked him out of my life, but we work in the same building. Every time he walks past me my heart suddenly goes a mile a minute. I know that once his wife stops being interesting to him again (the kid is really all he wants) he’ll go after me again. I won’t change jobs because this was my dream job and he hates what he does. What do I do?

• This topic was modified 8 years, 2 months ago by trinfinity2001.
• This topic was modified 8 years, 2 months ago by trinfinity2001.