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Another day gone by which has been another day of missing him, or should I say missing the positive “image” of him that is tattooed inside of my head. The enormity of the sadness and devastation of this betrayal feels like a large anchor pummeled into the underwater sand, and I’m the boat trying to sail away. But, I can’t because this anchor is dragging me down. That positive image that I can’t let go of…if I could only realize that it’s the evil, negative person that he has proven to be which is the why this anchor is so heavy. Perhaps, if I could convince myself to love myself enough to let go of someone who has almost destroyed my sense of self, then the anchor would break away and I could be free. To be free to sail away into a future that can be filled with happiness and a realm of possibilities. Including the potential to meet a man who will treat me better than I’ve been treated before and who will truly love me. I have to remember that my thoughts control my life. That I am the captain of my ship. I’m responsible for my own happiness. I need to let go or I will continue to be dragged!!! I keep praying the Serenity Prayer: “God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.” Or, God grant me the serenity to accept the person that I cannot change (him), the courage to change the person that I can, and the wisdom to know it’s me.
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Resilient85 I so totally relate to what u saying,the enormity of the devastation he left behind…you know he doesn´t give two shits about you and what you´re going through,don´t you? PURE EVIL is what they are,you will on your own cut loose of that heavy anchor,you will set sails to a better life,the good life YOU DESERVE..it is a voyage of SELF DISCOVERY,and it´s already started!! as low as you may feel right now,good news is YOU ALREADY ARE ON YOUR WAY!we will shed as many tears as we need to,remember tears wipe clean our souls,and when you feel you can´t go on call a friend,or come to this forum and realize you need not to battle alone! I send MUCH LOVE to you,stand strong lady! we are here for you!
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resilient you got it- he pretended to be loving but in fact is incapable of love. you will get through this with friends who can be loving!!
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