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How can people be so heartless… how can they be with you, then literally replace you ONE day later. Not only that, but with a pregnant chick. I’ve never felt such pain. I cant feel anything but numb. And utter despair. It makes me sick to know hes out there loving every second. How can people possibly be so cruel? 2 days ago he wanted to marry me. Now a pregnant chick and her kid is moved in, a mere 24 hours later.
I just dont understand. I always knew there was evil in this world, but I could never comprehend it to be in this form. It’s funny how in life, you think you know someone. Like really know them.. because you’ve shared everything with them.. done everything for them.. and then they flip on a dime. And im left here to cry until I have no more tears. 2 days ago, you texted me telling me you were seeing white and were hungry. I dropped everything, drove to you, bought you food. Comforted you. 24 hours later, shes moved in. Now I’m the one who cant eat. I just want to throw up my insides. I normally dont post like this. But this is just too much. I cant believe humans out there like this exist. It makes me lose so much hope. It tips my definition of love away to the core. How does one trust again after such events. He has controlled every aspect of my life, down to what I wear. In the past, he choked me until I passed out during small arguments. He belittled me everyday, calling me a cunt, a whore and fat. (I weighed 120 at the time) constant false accusations. When I came to get my bed, so they couldn’t enjoy it, i said i have 2 guys moving it for me. His response was, “yea i never trusted you Lindsey, you have guys left and right” making no sense whatsoever. Dude, I’m leaving because you invited a pregnant chick and her kid to live with you. This all happened after i started to give hin space, and moved out. He still used me to get him food. I’ll never forget the day before the discard. We made love and it was amazing. He told me he wanted to marry me. I mentioned that and he told me he was “in mania” when he said that. How can he move on? I cant even think about a realationship right now. I just want this pain to end. My wings were clipped and I was kicked out of the cage. How am I supposed to fly. God help me. -
Hi. Reaching out to you with words of encouragement, which I hope you will heed. I empathize with you completely. I too have been very despondent in my relationship. But…. The first thing you should consider is that although your wings were clipped by this guy, your wings will grow back more beautiful than before. And… You have been freed from a cage of oppression! Sometimes in life, situations that are forced upon us which seem to be tragic in the moment, present us onto a path of redemption, liberation and a renewed sense of inspiration once you allow yourself to begin on this New path.
I actually had a past experience in this that went very well beyond my dreams. If you want to know that story just let me know. Pretty inspiring as it relates to a lying rock drummer trying to put me on the back burner to use as needed. But it backfired on him to my reward with a far superior guy who was an actual gorgeous foreign rockstar. I met him all due to the disgard.
Think on these things. You are likely far younger than me with time, time, time, my dear child. Dont give that all away. The world will not be the same without you. You need to know ypur full potential. I will be praying for you.
Blessings and Love,
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if you really look back on your relationship with him, you will see that it was not that fun of a relationship. That it was a one side relationship. He was a taker & you were trained to be a giver. Take time now to truly analysis the relationship…take your rose color glasses off and see the truth.
Did you know that a woman is 5 times more likely to be murdered by her mate if he puts his hands on her neck?
This is from that National Domestic violence hotline statistics.
This guy is not only dangerous to your mindset but you your life!!
What is he doing with this new woman and her children?
He is MANIPULATING them with his con game…the same con game he ran. It is not all roses for her either…he is shoving her & her children into a dark hole…the same hole that you need to focus on to climb out. You can do it hon. Look up all those medical things that I showed you…watch the free you tube documentary called Super Juice me…not only to help heal your body but also to take your mind off of him.
Sending you hugs xxx take care!!
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Now the pregnant girl, unfortunately, is in his cage. Dont you bet he will continue the cheating on her too?
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Hi astherushcomes27, sending you huge hugs hon. 💜💜💜 We have all been exactly where you are now. The emotional pain feels unbearable and that moves into our body feeling physically ill. YOU ARE STRONGER THEN YOU KNOW HON…PLEASE KNOW THIS!! 💪
YOU WILL SURVIVE THIS NIGHTMARE!!! YOU WILL THRIVE AFTER. BE KIND TO YOURSELF RIGHT NOW. BE PATIENT WITH YOURSELF RIGHT NOW. LET THOSE TEARS OUT. WRITE IN A DIARY, CONTACT THE NATIONAL DOMESTIC VIOLENCE HOTLINE ASAP (800-799-SAFE USA OR GOOGLE FOR YOUR COUNTRIES HOTLINE), Go to your local abuse center ASAP too!!
YOU ARE NOT ALONE,
WE HEAR YOU,
WE BELIEVE YOU
Empowerme2 has an amazing post…she is right your wings will grow back even stronger and you will fly even higher then with this guy. you will have an amazing life…don’t give that chance up.
PLEASE DO NOT HARM YOURSELF…this is what he wants…he wanted to break you…
THE BEST REVENGE IS TO GET YOUR HEALTH & LIFE BACK!!
This is what he does not want. He wanted to break you…but know this…YOU ARE UNBREAKABLE…DIG DEEP HON…reach out for help.
THE BEST REVENGE IS TO GET YOUR LIFE BACK!!
REACH OUT TO YOUR MOST TRUSTED FAMILY & FRIENDS ALSO AND LET THEM KNOW WHAT THIS GUY HAS DONE TO YOU…ever detail. Listen to their wise words if they say they never liked him…believe their words.
Do a search on lovefruad and the net for:
1) Gas lighting abuse
1) sociopath triangulation (he is going to try and do this with you and this new victim)
(YES, she is a new victim feel sorry for her…but also take this opportunity to slam the door shut on this evil evil evil man)
3) Sociopath smear campaign (my ex did this to me from day one…and most likely your ex is doing this)
DO YOU KNOW YOU WERE IN A EMOTIONAL, MENTAL & VERBAL ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP?
(look up the National Domestic Violence Hotline to learn more about what is emotional, mental & verbal abuse. This type of abuse is a TRAUMA. He used trauma to bond you to him..
4) sociopath Trauma bonding
5) Sociopath No contact rule
6) narcissist no contact rule
Donna has a lot of help here on her site. Look under the tap at the top “Services” and also “Go to Lovefruad for education”. In addition she is an author of several books including “LOvefraud 10 signs you are dating a sociopath” (I highly recommend you read this book).
Sociopaths intentionally mess with everyones mind…this is extremely stressful to a victims mind & body. So focus on your health right now!! YOU are most likely suffering from PTSD…this is common with a victim of a sociopath!!
This is why it is imperative that you focus on your heath. MAKE A EMERGENCY APPOINT WITH YOUR DOCTOR ASAP!!! DONT DELAY HON..YOU ARE MEANT TO BE HERE ON PLANET EARTH!! SO REACH OUT FOR HELP HON!! Ask your primary doctor for a Endocrinologist doctor (he specialize in the adrenal glands etc)
The stress you have been under has most likely wreaked havoc on your adrenal glands. Look into symptoms of adrenal fatigue. (some include anxiety, depression, mood swings, sleep issue etc etc its a long list so look it up)
Look up: Dr Lam. com and Adrenal fatigue. org for symptoms list an more info on adrenal fatigue
How to heal your adrenal glands:
Good clean diet – watch the FREE documentary called “Super juice me” on you tube and look up Jason Vale juicing you tube. This will flood your body with much needed victims & mineral.
Vitamins & minerals such as B complex (my doctor gave me this 4 times a day 1 am/2 at noon, 1 at 2, 1 bedtime (cant remember exactly but something like that), also magnesium (this will help calm you & help you sleep) and D (b complex & d are needed for a healthy brain) but best to get tested & always check with a doctor before you make any changes). A good source of magnesium is Epson salt in the bath tub (look up the benefits of epson salt on the net and you tube)
Possible NATURAL hormonal balancing NOT manmade hormones
Plenty of sleep, rest & relaxation (which is hard now, but try to focus on this)
We have all been were you are now…you will survive I promise you this..and you will be wise to the world. It takes time to heal your body & mind from all the stress you have been under…but, I promise you this you will be sooooo happy that this guy found a new victims so that you could escape!!
I look back now and can not even believe I stayed so long (over 12 years) and I am so happy I found the strength to escape & reach out for help & heal my body. This site Lovefraud is amazing site…keep reading…and reach out for help with Donna if possible.
Sending you huge hugs hon!! 💜💜💜 KEEP POSTIGN HERE, VENTING HERE HELPS TOO…just write what even comes to mind…dont worry about spelling or grammar just write to get it out of your mind or write in a journal.
Wishing you all the best!!
Take care. 🌺
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NATIONAL DOMESTIC VIOLENCE HOTLINE 800-799-SAFE USA to talk with a free counselor (see their website also)
Ask them for your local abuse center numbers too and call to make an appointment asap to talk with a free counselor & to attend free women group meetings.
💜💜💜
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jan- Good to see your post.
SG
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Dear young lady. I wanted to respond to you sooner but unfortunately for me, i still live in a very abusive home. He called on the way home and seemed fine but within an hour after arrival he went into a severe verbal abuse fest until be passed out in the other room. Just know this: you were only 2 years in. The longer you are with this type of man the worse it gets. He will definitely be trying in the very near future to get you back on the hook with as Jan says, a trauma bond. Be will want sex and may even say things to make you feel that he regrets his decision in having you leave. Be strong with resolve! Dont fall for it. Can you consider going no contact? I know your heart is broken right now, but forcing yourself to not give in when he calls or texts will serve you and save you from having to go through this trauma over and over. Jan 7 is giving you fact based and very valuable advice. In fact I am going to copy her response to you because i have so much trauma to my body and mind from the ongoing abuse and dont want to miss a thing she wrote about restoration of my mind and body.
I will tell you my short story in the future, but please heed Jan7’s advice.
I cant believe mine did it again tonight. The abuse is nightly and is escalating to the point of imminent attack.
I wish my wrist was not broken right now and my lower back all bruised or i would be packing boxes this moment.
Sending you love. I prayed for you earlier tonight just before he attacked me for the next 3 hours. I am so sad too. But please dont leave this earth. Let God decide the time for you to leave this place, not this scumbag who hurt you to the extent that he has.
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A big hug to you astherushcomesin27 <3 I offer these words as someone who has been in that same deep despair you express, after being so cruelly discarded by someone I loved whole-heartedly. It’s been a few months now since he moved out and immediately moved in with another woman, and at first, simply breathing hurt. I slept sitting up so I wouldn’t sleep too deeply, because then I would have to re-live the shock of abandonment. Every day I’d be flipping the live-or-die coin in my mind. Now, nearly four months later, this is what I know: sometimes the appeal of suicide is not about ending your life, but ending your way of living. You have gone through such an intense rollercoaster with this guy, and now the crash leaves you demolished. Heartbreak will do that! But as the dust begins to settle, look at the way you were living in this relationship: like the frog boiling in water, you tolerated more and more abuse until you were “cooked”, no longer feeling the beauty and power of your life! So now you feel all of it~ and yes, it is devastating! But consider this: the way you were living did not honor your beautiful heart and the all the wonderful ways in which you are a blessing to life. When we are discarded, we may not in that moment feel our worth. But hold on~ your soul is strong, your spirit longs to be freed from the cage that was way too small for you. So for now, listen for your own true voice guiding you slowly to the limitless possibilities you will begin to see once the shock wears off (and it will!). I no longer think about ending my life, but beginning it again~ and yes, at times I don’t see the path clearly. But I’ve been building it one step at a time: taking care of my “self” after years of neglect. Doing one thing every day that gets me out of the old cage-mentality and into new experiences. Take one step at a time in the direction of new beginnings, and in time you will have walked yourself into a life that you will want to live~ a life brimming with love, beauty, joy, and inspiration! Just keep your feet moving. . .
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astherushcomesin – I am so sorry for your experience. yes it hurts. The pain is overwhelming. And your obsession is actually normal for someone in your situation.
This just happened. Give yourself some time. I know it feels terrible, but that will ease. Don’t do anything permanent.
The guy is a complete sociopath. Keep reading here, and you’ll see what that means. And yes, it is hard to come to terms with the concept that they exist. But they do, as you’ve learned the hard way. DO NOT GO BACK TO HIM. If you do, he will do it again, and you’ll be in worse shape.
Right now, all you can do is take it a day at a time.
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Hi astherushcomes,
dear heart, please reach down inside your heart and feel your mighty tigress there. The one who protects her cub fiercely. You are that cub and you are the protector too. Tell your cub that you are there for her – that you will stand by her. You deserve the very best. You deserve all the love and joy and wonderment that has always been meant for you to have. The one who betrayed your trust will at some point have to answer for it – one way or another his cruelty will come back to him. I do not mean that we should entertain revengeful thoughts and feelings – but just to acknowledge that it is the truth of the universe. So, dear heart, take care of your cub within you and tell her that you are here for her and that you love her.
We all love you.
Blessings -
Dear astherushcomes27: can you please post something. I am concerned about you. I want to know that you are allright. *please*
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astherush- jan has given very good advice. Hope you listen.
SG
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empowerme- Some people post a few times and don’t post again. We can just hope they are O.K.
SG
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aftertherush- again, Jan’s advice is good.
SG
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jan’s advice is the best.
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