i'm an idiot

I’m new to this forum; it came up as a link on one of the pages I was looking at while trying to understand and deal with my feeling regarding the behavior of “jon” (my former best friend/off-and-on romantic partner).
I met Jon about four years ago at the methadone clinic we both have to go to daily. From the beginning, I knew something was… I don’t know. Just wrong with our relationship. I was attracted to him primarily due to his intellect, but I had serious qualms about ethical behaviors, both past, and present. He seemed to enjoy taking advantage of people, or verbally disemboweling them (but kissing their ass when they were present). He basically bullied me into “lending” him money but if I brought being repaid, he would go on the attack and make me feel like I was a greedy jerk. For a really long time I attributed his behvior to his alcoholism, and never really said anything because he was so vindictive and merciless when he struck back. Three times he contacted me and drunkenly told me he was about to kill himself; naturally I called the police each time. And each time when the cops showed up, he convinced them I was the crazy one and I was more in need of their services then he was (luckily, they never took him seriously – probably because he was grossly drunk at the time – and the only unpleasant ramifications were a few phone calls with the police, letting me know that he was not in danger but that I should be wary of him).

Here’s the problem: I’m severely bipolar and have been since adolescence. I suffer from extremely severe (psychotic) episodes of – mostly – mania, but depression as well. Right now I’m deep in a mixed episode, and because of my familiarity with my own illness, I know my perceptions aren’t exactly at 100% right now. Jon was recently informed that his behavior was entirely due to his own case of bipolar (determined either by the doctor at the rehab he stayed at for 5 days, or his inexperienced, uninformed counselor at the clinic) and that he no longer deserves culpability for his actions (which, by the way, are NOT episodic in nature; he’s a jerk 100% of the time).

So, right now I feel confused and stupid. I recognize that I can’t trust him or his actions, but I’m humiliated that I bought into his crap. And even though I’ve broken off communication via phone or text, I still see him almost every day at the clinic (where, by the way, he’s been busy assassinating my character to anyone who will listen). I feel terrible, but I don’t know if I’m feeling this way due to the bipolar or him.