How to recognize and recover from the sociopaths – narcissists in your life › Forums › Sociopaths, narcissists, psychopaths as partners › HeLP!
- This topic has 8 replies, 5 voices, and was last updated 4 years, 6 months ago by eyeswideopen.
-
AuthorPosts
-
-
May 23, 2020 at 11:50 pm #62820cnaforevernalways2005Participant
I have wrote on here before. Many of you know the situation. I was just wanting to know if you can be friends with a narracist if you just recently went through a break up with one that tore you mentally and physically.
Will being friends with a Male narracist bring my self esteem back down and catch me in the fog again.?
I am very strong and dont react to the behavior of their making me feel bad when their down. I just really care for this person but I dont want to ever get in a situation like I was over 6 months ago.
Just give me advice everyone! Thanks so much !
-
May 24, 2020 at 12:28 pm #62826Donna AndersenKeymaster
cna – Narcissists are users. Narcissists get involved with people — in any capacity — because they want something. Narcissists will not be available when you need support. Narcissists can’t really be friends. So why would you bother?
-
May 24, 2020 at 5:38 pm #62839polestarParticipant
Hi cna forever – an important lesson for a survivor after having suffered through a psychologically abusive relationship, is to know the torture of chaos, heartache and low self esteem. To be very protective never to allow that to happen again. It takes a long time to regain psychological health and to heal, and to just get the energy back that was taken by a narcissist. Survivors just don’t have the energy to get involved in any way at all with a narcissist- even if it seems to start out as “ just friends “. No matter what, they just suck you into their chaotic world, and it takes so much to get out ! If the new narcissist love bombs you ( friends can do this too ), that might feel good, but it is exactly like a drug addict taking their drug of choice. They might say, “ oh, just this once “, but the past habit pattern is still there and there is a great danger to go down the addiction trail again. Please keep yourself safe from those whose only intention is to harm and drain your energy no matter how charming they may appear. You might rationalize that it would help your self esteem, but if you feel like your self esteem needs to be lifted, there are many other means to achieve that end. I would start by looking for courses on line about it, or to research some books on self esteem on Amazon. Personally, I would not be on any terms at all with a narcissist. There are many people male and female to become friends with, so choose your company carefully among those whom you can trust, and who will not, in the end, be a big waste of time. So glad you’ve come back to post – good to hear from you !
Blessings -
May 24, 2020 at 8:33 pm #62843SunnygalParticipant
ana- narcissists cannot be friends. You will just be used.
SG
-
May 31, 2020 at 2:15 pm #62984cnaforevernalways2005Participant
Thank you all for your information. The reason I was writing is because he recently has been separated from his wife that he married after 6 months. She attacked him and tried to kill him; he got arrested. I had been with him for 16 years and he never once put his hands on me. He was just verbally abusive at times. I was the one who picked him up from the jail because their was a protective order against him and his new wife. I also went to the lawyer appt so I could get the truth about what happend. The first line of the police report said she hit him 3 times and headbutted him 2 times, also attacked him with knives. It stated that she also said he never once put his hands on her. The lawyer was very confused as to why he got arrested and not her. Anyways.. my question is…he is currently staying at my house in my daughters room because we do have children together. He has been very respectful of my home and helping me with anything I need, providing his own items for him to live. If he does say something cruel I do stand up to him and we talk about why it’s not necessary or appropriate.
People say narracist just use ppl. I dont feel like that is the case with him. He always provides money to me if I need it or things I need.
I just want to be able to be friends and or work things out if he ever asks.
I am not 100% sure he is narracist, never been diagnosed but I have shared with lovefraud his actions after he left me and they believed he was one.Since I have been through it and I am aware now and I have a strong guard and will can it happen ?
-
June 2, 2020 at 5:02 am #63019eyeswideopenParticipant
Of course he is there for you. Of course he is giving you anything you need. That is what narcissist do. They will do anything for you under the sun in the beginning. They will manipulate you give you anything they can to suck you in! Please do not fall for it. Have you reread what you wrote? Read it. It screams narcissist. They all start out like that. They will tell you they will take a bullet for you. And after five years they won’t even change an email address for you. (That is another story) But, please don’t fall for it.
-
-
May 31, 2020 at 6:11 pm #63007SunnygalParticipant
ana- He probably is. Giving you money can be a power move.
SG
-
June 1, 2020 at 1:40 am #63011polestarParticipant
Hi cnaforever – I think I know your back story, but just to be sure, would you mind telling it briefly in this post stream. I was looking for your previous posts in the back log of posts but couldn’t find it. Anyway, that would help me to be able to answer your current post in a better way. So I hope you will. Thanks
Blessings -
June 2, 2020 at 4:57 am #63018eyeswideopenParticipant
Narcissists are great pretenders. If I were you I would run like I’m on fire! I just left a five year relationship with a narcissist. It’s all new to me and I’m seeking help. No way in hell would I get connected with another one friend or any other situation. Good luck
-
-
AuthorPosts
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.