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I want to share a healing breakthrough I recently experienced. As some of you know my ex found a way to use a different phone number in order to leave me a message wishing me a happy birthday. In that message he also said he still loved me. I know he banked on those words having some effect, hoping I would contact him. I did nothing of the sort, yet I didn’t erase the message either. As long as I kept the message I could hear his voice whenever I chose to and that ended up messing with my mind. After considerable thought I finally had a “come to Jesus” conversation directed at him.
Mind you I live alone, so there I was alone in my house yelling at him telling him all of the hurtful and disrespectful things he had done. I ended the solo conversation telling him to go “blank” himself! With that I marched off to my answering machine and deleted his message without even listening to it one last time!
I can only tell you how good that felt. It reminded me of Donna’s advice on healing ………scream, yell, cry and get all of your emotions up and out in order to heal. I have since felt enormous relief and have never slept better in a very long time. Out of sight, out of mind…….I have not ruminated or given him a thought since my solo conversation. It is officially 16 months of NC and I know for certain it will be 16 months + forever!
He was betting on the word “love” ………..well I hope he didn’t bet the farm because it didn’t work! He has no concept of what love is!
I hope you too can find this post helpful and inspiring. We deserve so much more than what we’re willing to settle for. Stay strong and thank you for listening!
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Hello! We switched servers for Lovefraud and in the process lost a few comments. I am reproducing them here:
healingtakestime posts:
Do sociopaths become a better person for the next person? Or do they do the same things they did to you? Signs on their social media indicate that he has magically become someone different and is doing nice things for her.
I believe this is my first experience with a true sociopath and I can’t find anyone (therapists included) who have much knowledge of sociopaths. -
funluvmusic25 posts:
Hello healingtakestime; Great question! From my experience hearing my ex-sociopathic narcissist talk about his past relationships I believe if any nicer treatment comes with their next victim it only lasts until they get what they want and/ or get bored and move on to their next source of supply. My relationship most likely lasted longer than most because it was a long distance relationship, yet I’m guessing that it also gave him an opportunity to engage in other relationships perhaps nearer to where he resides. After all, much as we don’t want to believe it they are known for cheating.
The only constant in their behavior is doing the same thing over and over……they never really change their mode of operation. They also love to brag and make themselves look like “Mr. Wonderful” and never get tired of listening to themselves talk about themselves! If he is sounding like everything is now great on social media it’s only to impress others and to hurt you. It’s their way of wielding power…….and we all know how they love having power over their victims! My best advice is to ignore it and block him from reaching out to you. -
healingtakestime posts:
Funluvmusic25, thank you for your reply. Did you know you were dealing with a sociopath during your relationship? In my case, he told me he was diagnosed as a sociopath, among other disturbing things he said. At the time, I didn’t know what that even meant. So I googled the term, and didn’t feel like he fit the description. However, once the relationship ended everything clicked and it made more sense after looking back on everything that he said and did.
What else has helped you to heal from your experience? I feel like most people don’t understand the depth of the hurt, trauma and abuse that comes from being with a sociopath. -
Funluvmusic25 – I forgot to respond to your initial post. Good for you! Congratulations! I am so glad you were able to take action to purge yourself of his influence. What an inspirational story!
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