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I’ve been away from my ex husband for almost 5 years, I recently found out that he is working in a drug and alcohol rehab center (although he has a masters in psychology he is working on a low rung level entry position assuming he’s too afraid to get licensing. Anyway, He used to work for a men’s halfway house so I am sure that’s why they hired him but this is his NPD playground these are the types of people he preys on, women who are low income, drug addicted and with mental health issues. Should I warn someone? Is this legal? He has a history with every person he has been with of this kind of horrific abuse? What should I do?
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Hi Savage, no I would not warn them. I would stay out of it. Because your warning would directly affect his livelihood so he could file a court case against you for defamation affecting his income.
As a separate matter I also thought about warning my ex husband’s new girlfriend and decided not to. Because 1) I knew she would not believe me anyway and 2) I knew he would retaliate.
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Btw you asked if this is legal. If you mean NPD yes having NPD or any other personality disorder is completely legal. You cannot go to court or police to report just only a personality disorder because lots of people have personality disorders and there is nothing illegal or unlawful about it. It is just part of human nature unfortunately.
However if there is physical abuse or crime or any other activity that is illegal or unlawful then yes you can and should report to police and court.
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savagepeaceseeker – this is always a dilemma – should you warn the next victim? We’ve written several articles on this here at lovefraud – type “warn the next victim” into the search bar at the top to see them.
The key here is, how are you in your healing? You’ve been away for 5 years. If you were to attempt to warn someone, would it affect you? If it would jeopardize your recovery in any way, then stay out of it.
Sometimes, however, it is validating to take a stand. If that’s what you feel, can you do it safely? And what, exactly, can you do?
Sept4 is right – it is not illegal to be disordered. If you want to make a formal warning, you would need to describe a specific violation and you would need evidence.
But at some point you may have an opportunity to say something informal, like, be careful about him.
Again, your own recovery comes first. I suggest you read the other articles – as well as reader comments – for more perspective.
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