Editor’s note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we’ll call “Mariana20” about her experience as an abused immigrant. English is not her first language.
I met George online he 20 years older than me. He travelled to the Brazil and met me. He is a businessman and smart guy,
I was in love with him. He made a lot promises. I work with him and he took care of me. We met in Brazil he bought a promise ring, and invited me to live in United States with him. I accepted.
We get married
After 4 months I married him because I was without green card. The day about the wedding he said for me to sign a prenup and a lot humiliation and same I signed. He didn’t marry me. He was very drunk and I was sad and crying .
Another day he changed the idea and married me in Vegas. I was without friends and family. George doesn’t say anything to the family about the wedding. After we married he drink a lot alcohol every day and smoke marijuana. A lot insults without reason, and I was living with threats every day,
Thrown out of the house
When I was speaking with him about the situation he said leave my f*cking house bitch. He accused me of stealing the car he gave for me, and accused me about committing fraud with the credit card he gave me. I tried suicide. I was very afraid of going to jail.
I went to hospital psychiatrist and after I went back with him. In my mind I wanted to save my marriage. He closed door I was outside without keys and without family and without salary.
I filed the paper about the divorce. After 7 months George promised change and behavior and wanted me to cancel the divorce. I cancelled and returned home.
Physical abuse
He was beginning to hit me and strangle me. it’s been 2 times. He said because of withdrawal alcohol and he had DUI, after 5 times him hit me I called to police. He stayed 1 day in jail.
The judge said to me stay at home and he should leave. I loved him a lot than myself and I said he can stay at home. I made a big mistake. He strangled me and I left the home.
He did the filing to divorce, lied, said I never worked with him and never registered my SSN. About the prenup. It was in prenup I worked with him and alimony never exists. My car was repossessed – he didn’t make the payment. I have a lot damage in my life.
I have depression and anxiety. After of 2 months in process of divorce he was in Cancun with another girl from Colombia, younger, she is probably 20 years old, he is 53 years old . He gave just 20 thousands. He lied to the judge and unfortunately the judged not believed in me, the abused immigrant. Very frustrated.
Learn more: How to choose the right attorney when you’re divorcing a disordered spouse
What do toxic bosses and toxic spouses have in common?
I’m so sorry to hear what happened to you
The first time my husband beat me I’ll never forget the police officer that came. They were two of them. And one of them said to me this is my last day on the job, he was an older man. He said to me since it’s my last day I will never see you again but I promise you if you stay with this man, my partner will see you again. He took the time to explain to me that he was on the police force for 30 years and that abusers only got worse not better. And I was crying and inconsolable and he said to me look at the good point you’re not dead and you’re not missing any body parts. He said to me please leave because next time it could happen. Never got his name but to this day I thank That man and I see him in front of me even though this happened decades ago. He probably saved my life. So look at the good point you got out without missing any body parts or getting shot. It’s hard, it’s really hard you’re going to hurt . But the minute you truly realize that it was never anything you did wrong and he will always be like this. He’s going to do this to the next girl it will become easier, And the pain will get less.
Shining Star – Thank you so much for your comment. I am sorry about what happened to you, but glad that the policeman gave you such good advice. I’m even happier that you listened to him.