Editor's note: The following article was written by the Lovefraud reader who posts as "Imara." Woody Allen's new movie Blue Jasmine, starring Cate Blanchet, showcases an amazing, Oscar worthy performance by her. She portrays a woman who had it all and then lost everything, including her sanity, after she catches her psychopathic husband cheating. I loved the movie ”¦ identified with Jasmine on so many emotive experiences ”¦ and am very grateful to the powers that be that, in the aftermath, I do not walk in her shoes!!!! The movie portrays the plush life of Jasmine and her very successful businessman husband. He is lavish in his gift giving, and in his lifestyle. His cheating is clearl …
How our brain keeps us in toxic relationships
Editor's note: Joyce M. Short is the author of a soon to be released book, “Carnal Abusive Deceit When a Predator's Lies Become Rape.” The book chronicles her life with a predator, the subsequent aftermath and her road to recovery. It also provides advice for victims and their supporters, and discusses the issues surrounding criminalization of rape-by-fraud. Joyce lives in New York City, where she's a real estate broker, professional tennis instructor and a strong advocate for her community. The Betrayal Bond — an oxytocin craving By Joyce M. Short We often see stories in the news about people who meet tragic ends by remaining in a relationship with someone whose behavior should have si …
LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: Now I can see how manipulative he was
Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following letter from a woman whom we'll call "Clarissa." She dated a man whom we'll call "Bradford." Clarissa is sharing a letter he sent her, which is posted with all its original misspellings. I met Bradford nearly three years ago. I had never heard of a sociopath and I fell for his charm and good looks. He seemed to be the man of my dreams. One year after our relationship ended and now knowing I loved a sociopath, I am starting to put my life back on track, I am paying back the debt he left me in and even looking to meet someone new. I will not let him ruin anymore of my life. I am lucky to have got away from him, but I wanted to share a …
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BOOK REVIEW: My Friend Dahmer
Editor's Note: The following review was written by "Sellenna," a Lovefraud reader. To see a picture of Jeffrey Dahmer, check out the CNN slideshow in the recent Lovefraud article, "The Boston Strangler and other famous serial killers." If you like books about psychopaths and true crime, I highly recommend a graphic novel called "My Friend Dahmer," written and illustrated by comic book artist and journalist Derf Backderf, a former high-school classmate and acquaintance of serial killer Jeffrey Dahmer. It's a comic book, but it deals with very adult themes; some that are quite unsuitable for children. In this book, Backderf describes what Dahmer was like as a teenager before he committed …
Finding a way out of the darkness through EMDR therapy
Editor's note: The following article was written by the Lovefraud reader who posts as "Laura19." My Experience with PTSD Excruciating emotional pain. Numbness. Loss of appetite. Sleepless nights. Obsessive thoughts. Inability to concentrate. Loss of pleasure in cherished activities. Lack of energy. Anxiety and panic attacks. All of the above will probably sound familiar to those of us who have been devalued and discarded by psychopaths. When I discovered that the “relationship” I had with the psychopath was not real, that I had been deceived, betrayed, and used, I felt as if my entire world was turned upside down. I did not want to eat, I developed insomnia, and I was consumed by thoughts of …
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LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: Trying to solve the mystery kept me hooked for months, part 2
Editor's note: A Lovefraud reader whom we'll call "Edna" sent along the following letter. She received it from her then husband's mistress last summer. Edna reached out to the young woman once she located her number on his phone records. They shared their stories to help piece together the mystery of the man they were both dangerously entangled with. Names and some details have been changed for their protection. Read Part 1. The final evening It is so scary to even think back to the evening that led to my leaving Brandon and never looking back. The very last time I saw him I found tons of drugs in his apartment. It was a Friday evening in the middle of the summer. I went to my parents that We …
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LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: Trying to solve the mystery kept me hooked for months, part 1
Editor's note: A Lovefraud reader whom we'll call "Edna" sent along the following letter. She received it from her then husband's mistress last summer. Edna reached out to the young woman once she located her number on his phone records. They shared their stories to help piece together the mystery of the man they were both dangerously entangled with. Names and some details have been changed for their protection. Part 2 will post tomorrow. Letter from the mistress I met Brandon during the summer, immediately following my college graduation. Brandon approached me at a nightclub at a beach resort area near where I live over Memorial Day weekend. I was at a low point in my life; I was de …
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LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: He hid who he was very well
Lovefraud received the following essay from a reader whom we'll call "Soundra." Initials have been changed. It started two years ago when I met T.L. through an on-line dating site. We talked on the phone for about a month before we actually met in person. Although T.L. was intelligent, well educated, and came from a good family, he wasn't really my type physically. I also found him to be a little high strung, which I didn't care for. He was interesting though, and he had a great sense of humor, which is always a positive with me, so I went out with him a few times. After a few dates, I told T.L. that I thought it would be best if we didn't date anymore, but that I would like for us to still …
LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: Survival tips when the ex is a sociopath
Editor's note: The Lovefraud reader "Winifred" contributed the following article. She also wrote The Other Prey — loving someone previously married to a sociopath. My husband's ex wife is a sociopath with borderline personality disorder. Here are tips on how, over the past 9 years, I have learned to stay one step ahead of her and survive with my sanity and our marriage! 1. Do your homework Remember even though you are nothing like them, you must learn to think like them so that you can anticipate their mindset and next deviant move. What they are going thru in their life at the present time will greatly affect how much hell they plan to rain on you, your children involved, or anyone close to …
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LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: Ever since this experience, I’ve been afraid to love again
Editor's note: The following letter was sent by a Lovefraud reader whom we'll call "Shania." Names have been changed. My comments are at the end of the letter. I'm a 20-year-old girl and I had an experience with a sociopath, or so I think he was one. This traumatic experience actually gave me post-traumatic stress disorder. A few years ago, in my senior year of high school, I started to talk to this boy in my class named Mark. Everyone loved him; he was the most popular guy in my school. He was really good at talking to people, had the charm, very funny, always knew what to say. I first noticed a red flag before we started dating. Out of nowhere, Mark came over to me and cut off a piece …
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