Lovefraud Reader, Author at Lovefraud | Escape sociopaths - narcissists in relationships

LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: My ex-wife, the sociopath (Part 1)

May 4, 2013 // by Lovefraud Reader// 11 Comments

Editor's note: The following story was sent to Lovefraud by a man whom we'll call "Anthony." He believes his ex-wife is a sociopath. He tells his story in great detail, so it will be serialized, appearing today and over the next three days. The story refers to spiritual concepts. Please read Lovefraud's statement on Spiritual Recovery. Meeting the Perfect Woman I met her through a mutual friend one evening at a local restaurant. I found her strikingly attractive, and we made a plan to have dinner the following week, which we did. I was “hooked” fairly quickly, and I remember thinking many times how I must have been the luckiest man alive to have this gorgeous and intelligent woman want to …

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60 Minutes show on Charles Cullen: A missed opportunity for education

May 1, 2013 // by Lovefraud Reader// 14 Comments

Editor's note: The following commentary was provided by the Lovefraud reader who posts as "Jennifer." Another example of the (gross) misrepresentation of psychopathology / psychopathy in the media ”¦ The most recent episode of "60 Minutes" (which aired last Sunday, the 28th) contained two segments on Charles Cullen, a former nurse who is now considered to be the most prolific serial killer in U.S. history. (Cullen was a staff nurse in several New Jersey hospitals and it's now thought that he may have murdered an estimated 400 people, via lethal injection.) His harrowing story is chronicled in the newly-published book, The Good Nurse: A True Story of Medicine, Madness, and Murder, by …

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LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: The sociopath has zero power over how I think

April 19, 2013 // by Lovefraud Reader// 17 Comments

Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following email from a reader who posts as "Angela." I am in the beginning stages of divorcing my sociopath husband. Today, I went to the house to move out, since my children and I left with nothing 6 weeks ago. He was allowed to be there, though I don't understand why as I have a restraining order against him. That was a ”¦ well, it was a sociopathic experience. He laughed and joked with the police officers who were mediating the whole circus and as soon as I left, he took to social media to talk about his "feelings." He rambled on about how cold and heartless I am, and how I will realize what I've lost when it's too late. Are you joking?????? One of th …

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LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: I’m setting boundaries and he HATES it

April 17, 2013 // by Lovefraud Reader// 20 Comments

Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following e-mail from a reader whom we'll call Wendy. I have read your blog so much over the last 3 years that it has become a very valuable tool in the fight against my sociopath ex. Forgive me for how I say this, but it is my weapon of mass destruction against him in my fight for my son's mental and emotional well-being. (Baby is 2& 1/2.) My story started early 2009 when I met my sociopath. It was a whirlwind courtship and of course he said all the right things to a single Mom whose husband had died 6 years before. I became pregnant later that year and that's when my oldest child's and my world flipped upside down. He began by accusing me of …

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LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: The Other Prey – loving someone previously married to a sociopath

April 11, 2013 // by Lovefraud Reader// 11 Comments

Editor's note: The following was written by a Lovefraud reader whom we'll call "Winifred." This is titled "The Other Prey," and is for all of us who have chosen to love our current partners who were married to, or close to, sociopaths in the past. When I met my husband over 15 years ago, he had filed for divorce. Even though he was an extremely quiet and private man, after years of friendship, he shared with me that his soon-to-be ex wife was a "sociopath"! I was in my late 30s and had heard of this term before, but one never really can begin to absorb what it means until you experience a sociopath first hand as I am. Growing up as a child of an alcoholic mother, I had been in two failed …

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LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: I wanted him to ‘fix’ me

April 10, 2013 // by Lovefraud Reader// 51 Comments

Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following from a reader whom we'll call "Eugenie." My sociopath got in touch through a mutual friend on Facebook. We had been at college together, although I didn't remember him. He was quirky, charismatic, attentive, open, romantic and respectful. We didn't even kiss until I'd been seeing him for six weeks. Over the next few months, we went on several weekends away to European cities and to places in England —where I'm from. We saw each other about twice a week and I was happy with that. I have a busy and independent life and he appeared to have the same. He had a history of serial adultery, a failed marriage, several failed relationships and m …

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LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: I lived in denial

April 6, 2013 // by Lovefraud Reader// 50 Comments

Editor's note: The following story was written by a Lovefraud reader whom we'll call "Alyce." When is it possible to forgive myself? I met a very charismatic man who was lecturing at a local dog boarding kennel. Over the course of a year I attended training, and I watched him help many people. He quoted science books and talked about papers he had written at university. We became friends, me asking for advice and he was always obliging beyond anyone else I met. I was quite attracted to him, but happy to keep that attraction to myself. Then he declared one day he was attracted to me. I suppose I was flattered. A romance began and we moved far too quickly. Before I knew it we were …

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LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: I need to have my experience to count for something

April 1, 2013 // by Lovefraud Reader// 28 Comments

Editor's note: The following was written by Noelle R. Andrews, author of "Aftermath of Rock 'n' Roll." Read about her book in the article posted earlier today. Some people are born selfless. Mother Teresa, who worked with Calcutta's poor for decades, is a classic example. The caring people who worked with lepers on Hawaii's island of Molokai are another. Other people, like me, take up a cause because some experience has affected our lives in a profound way. Susan G. Koman's sister died of breast cancer. The foundation she created in her sister's honor is one of the best-known fundraisers for this disease. Jennie McCarthy has fought to raise awareness for autism, after her son was given …

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Acceptance: I don’t have to like the situation, but I recognize the truth of what it is

March 31, 2013 // by Lovefraud Reader// 42 Comments

Editor's note: The following post was written by the Lovefraud reader "Adelade." After the sociopathic ex left our marital home, I fell into a vortex of fear, panic, anxiety, and desperation that I had previously never even imagined to exist. At that time, I was unemployed and extremely sick from the autoimmune disorder that had laid me low years before. I was left with no income, no access to joint accounts, no computer to check said accounts, a mortgage that was being "accelerated" into foreclosure, a car loan and utilities that were all in arrears of no less than 3 months, and change in a glass jar. The financial arrears were a complete surprise I had no idea that these accounts were …

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LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: He told me exactly what I wanted to hear

March 29, 2013 // by Lovefraud Reader// 85 Comments

Editor's note: The following post was written by the Lovefraud reader "wantmylifeback41." When I first met him, I felt I loved him before I even knew him. He is the total opposite of me— a short, stocky dark hair Italian with eyes that seemed to focus on my every word. He moved quickly with me, telling me God had sent him an angel and he couldn't wait to begin a life with me. I was so drawn to his looks and him being so attentive on me, I fell for him quickly. Daughters He is nine years younger than me and told me of his abusive childhood from his mother. I felt the need to protect him. He had two daughters at the time who were around 5 and 6 (they are 12 and 13 now) that his mother …

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Donna Andersen on Here’s the absolutely best way to protect yourself from sociopaths: “Truthmatters – excellent, excellent points. Even when we notice our instincts warning us, the sociopaths often try to convince us…”
truthmatters on Here’s the absolutely best way to protect yourself from sociopaths: “I would like to add a caution to all that ample disordered personalities know that your intuition will kick off…”
Donna Andersen on After the sociopath, proud of my healing: “Eleanor – Congratulations to you and all survivors. And thank you so much for your kind words. You, too, have…”
sept4 on Am I a sociopath magnet?: “Not me, I am one and done! My sociopath ex husband wrecked my life and I have never wanted to…”
sept4 on My psychopathic ex-husband is dead, and his pedophile brother is in prison: “Thank you Donna for sharing. My sociopath ex husband is a convicted criminal and continued his criminal activity after a…”