How to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths - narcissists

You are here: Home / Archives for Lovefraud Reader

LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: Now I can see how manipulative he was

//  by //  12 Comments

Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following letter from a woman whom we'll call "Clarissa." She dated a man whom we'll call "Bradford." Clarissa is sharing a letter he sent her, which is posted with all its original misspellings. I met Bradford nearly three years ago. I had never heard of a sociopath and I fell for his charm and good looks. He seemed to be the man of my dreams. One year after our relationship ended and now knowing I loved a sociopath, I am starting to put my life back on track, I am paying back the debt he left me in and even looking to meet someone new. I will not let him ruin anymore of my life. I am lucky to have got away from him, but I wanted to share a …

LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: Now I can see how manipulative he wasRead More

BOOK REVIEW: My Friend Dahmer

//  by //  2 Comments

Editor's Note: The following review was written by "Sellenna," a Lovefraud reader. To see a picture of Jeffrey Dahmer, check out the CNN slideshow in the recent Lovefraud article, "The Boston Strangler and other famous serial killers." If you like books about psychopaths and true crime, I highly recommend a graphic novel called "My Friend Dahmer," written and illustrated by comic book artist and journalist Derf Backderf, a former high-school classmate and acquaintance of serial killer Jeffrey Dahmer. It's a comic book, but it deals with very adult themes; some that are quite unsuitable for children. In this book, Backderf describes what Dahmer was like as a teenager before he committed …

BOOK REVIEW: My Friend DahmerRead More

Finding a way out of the darkness through EMDR therapy

//  by //  7 Comments

Editor's note: The following article was written by the Lovefraud reader who posts as "Laura19." My Experience with PTSD Excruciating emotional pain. Numbness. Loss of appetite. Sleepless nights. Obsessive thoughts. Inability to concentrate. Loss of pleasure in cherished activities. Lack of energy. Anxiety and panic attacks. All of the above will probably sound familiar to those of us who have been devalued and discarded by psychopaths. When I discovered that the “relationship” I had with the psychopath was not real, that I had been deceived, betrayed, and used, I felt as if my entire world was turned upside down. I did not want to eat, I developed insomnia, and I was consumed by thoughts of …

Finding a way out of the darkness through EMDR therapyRead More

LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: Trying to solve the mystery kept me hooked for months, part 2

//  by //  3 Comments

Editor's note: A Lovefraud reader whom we'll call "Edna" sent along the following letter. She received it from her then husband's mistress last summer. Edna reached out to the young woman once she located her number on his phone records. They shared their stories to help piece together the mystery of the man they were both dangerously entangled with. Names and some details have been changed for their protection. Read Part 1. The final evening It is so scary to even think back to the evening that led to my leaving Brandon and never looking back. The very last time I saw him I found tons of drugs in his apartment. It was a Friday evening in the middle of the summer. I went to my parents that We …

LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: Trying to solve the mystery kept me hooked for months, part 2Read More

LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: Trying to solve the mystery kept me hooked for months, part 1

//  by //  1 Comment

Editor's note: A Lovefraud reader whom we'll call "Edna" sent along the following letter. She received it from her then husband's mistress last summer. Edna reached out to the young woman once she located her number on his phone records. They shared their stories to help piece together the mystery of the man they were both dangerously entangled with. Names and some details have been changed for their protection. Part 2 will post tomorrow. Letter from the mistress I met Brandon during the summer, immediately following my college graduation. Brandon approached me at a nightclub at a beach resort area near where I live over Memorial Day weekend. I was at a low point in my life; I was de …

LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: Trying to solve the mystery kept me hooked for months, part 1Read More

LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: He hid who he was very well

//  by //  39 Comments

Lovefraud received the following essay from a reader whom we'll call "Soundra." Initials have been changed. It started two years ago when I met T.L. through an on-line dating site. We talked on the phone for about a month before we actually met in person. Although T.L. was intelligent, well educated, and came from a good family, he wasn't really my type physically. I also found him to be a little high strung, which I didn't care for. He was interesting though, and he had a great sense of humor, which is always a positive with me, so I went out with him a few times. After a few dates, I told T.L. that I thought it would be best if we didn't date anymore, but that I would like for us to still …

LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: He hid who he was very wellRead More

LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: Survival tips when the ex is a sociopath

//  by //  20 Comments

Editor's note: The Lovefraud reader "Winifred" contributed the following article. She also wrote The Other Prey — loving someone previously married to a sociopath. My husband's ex wife is a sociopath with borderline personality disorder. Here are tips on how, over the past 9 years, I have learned to stay one step ahead of her and survive with my sanity and our marriage! 1. Do your homework Remember even though you are nothing like them, you must learn to think like them so that you can anticipate their mindset and next deviant move. What they are going thru in their life at the present time will greatly affect how much hell they plan to rain on you, your children involved, or anyone close to …

LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: Survival tips when the ex is a sociopathRead More

LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: Ever since this experience, I’ve been afraid to love again

//  by //  12 Comments

Editor's note: The following letter was sent by a Lovefraud reader whom we'll call "Shania." Names have been changed. My comments are at the end of the letter. I'm a 20-year-old girl and I had an experience with a sociopath, or so I think he was one. This traumatic experience actually gave me post-traumatic stress disorder. A few years ago, in my senior year of high school, I started to talk to this boy in my class named Mark. Everyone loved him; he was the most popular guy in my school. He was really good at talking to people, had the charm, very funny, always knew what to say. I first noticed a red flag before we started dating. Out of nowhere, Mark came over to me and cut off a piece …

LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: Ever since this experience, I’ve been afraid to love againRead More

LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: Escaping my mother, the sociopath

//  by //  14 Comments

Editor's note: The following letter was written by the Lovefraud reader who posts as "NomorePTSD." It refers to spiritual concepts. Please read Lovefraud's statement on Spiritual Recovery. This letter comes after 3 years of realizing who my mother really is: a sociopath. The first few decades of my life I struggled with what felt like a 5,000 piece puzzle without the picture of how it was suppose to go together. I had every piece memorized— as a way to maintain sanity. I lived in a state of being numb and invalidated. My parents divorced when I was young. A first memory was my mother attempting to kill my siblings and I. It seemed like I was the only one capable of accepting the truth, until …

LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: Escaping my mother, the sociopathRead More

LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: I have no further use to him and I am being disposed of

//  by //  42 Comments

Editor's note: The following letter was written by a woman who posts as "Sam." And to answer her question at the end, it sounds like she's been involved with a series of sociopaths. It all started for me around 11 years ago when I first met what I thought was "the love of my life" and the only man I would ever consider settling down with—up until only months ago. I was only a young 16-year-old girl and he was 21 when we first started seeing each other. I had a rather unstable childhood where I witnessed domestic violence from a very young age, and I left home before my 15th birthday. I did not have the best parental guidance. After leaving home I was living from house to house. I had n …

LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: I have no further use to him and I am being disposed ofRead More