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I just ended my relationship with my partner of nearly 5 years in September. Until just a few weeks ago, I was left wondering what I had done wrong, why he didn’t love me the way it always seemed I loved him. Nothing in our relationship made sense; the abuse, the abandonment, the constant chaos. That was until a really good friend reached out to me and suggested I do a little research into sociopaths and their behavior. I can’t begin to tell you the relief I have already began to feel now that I have a somewhat understanding of what the hell has actually happened to me. I began reading a book, and I would suggest anyone who is searching for answers read this too, entitled ” When Love is a Lie”, by Zari Ballard. Now, she is not a counselor, psychologist, or has any medical background in dealing with the disorder, but she is just like us, a victim of a narcissistic relationship that she suffered through for 12 years. Her insight and the stories that she shared brought so much light to my situation. you see, we all are dealing with the same person to be honest. I find much comfort in realizing this problem is not with us, its them. Its a sickness for which there is no cure. We did nothing wrong and have no reason to live in the shadow of this dark place we have been going through, be it weeks, months, or years. I have read many of the posts here and I have to say, I am truly sorry for all of us that have been exposed to a predator that sought to bring only pain and heartache into our lives. But we have a choice to let that go. We can gain control of our lives again and make the decision to walk away. Realizing that what we have experienced is not love, far from it! It was a lie from day one. I am choosing to take steps in a direction that allows my heart to be free from pain and emptiness. I will not allow this person to take the happiness that I deserve and create nothing but misery in my life. Our codependent nature to rely on someone to love us is our greatest obstacle. Learn to love yourself as much as we have the capacity to love others and start doing that by realizing how much you deserve a life better than this. Walk away from these people who cause you pain and embrace all the love you have been giving away to someone who can never appreciate who and what you are! 2017 is my “new year” to start fresh, without pain and chaos, and start walking a path of freedom and happiness. Join me! Choose to have and create happiness for you… you and I deserve that!
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Great job and HAPPY New year!
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dwt776,
Good for you! I remember *finally* learning about these types, and feeling that rush of validation. It is helpful to know what they are about, when we decide to move on. I am really glad you found your way to Lovefraud. This site certainly gave me the strength to keep moving forward, when the stalking and manipulations started.
All the best to you in 2017! Slim
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dwt7776- Good for you! Understanding that they are broken and cannot be fixed means that we can leave them behind and move forward in our own lives. Happy New Year! Happy New Life!
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Good for you!!
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Again, hope things are going well.
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Best wishes for 2017!!
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