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I have been with my boyfriend for almost a year now and yes, I had “that feeling”. He invited me to his place for the night and kept having to go to the bathroom, garage, other room for something, etc. Anyway, long story short, he feel asleep, I checked his phone and sure enough he was texting someone. And from what I read, he was texting (or being with her) before me as one of the texts from her said… do you remember today is our anniversary of the day we met? And we were together only 8 months at the time. Please remember I went through 8 months of push, pull, love bombing, discard, back again ,etc, etc… he had me roped in tight.
Anyway, I lost it, threw the phone at him, screamed a lot… the went to the garage and broke only the presets I gave him.. ie glasses for Xmas, crystal bowl for Father’s Day.
He blames me…. says I violated him because I went through his phone. And I hurt him! While he was texting someone while I was in his bed!
I’m embarrassed, (as I have never done anything like that before), I’m ashamed, my self esteem in gone, and now he’s telling our friends I trashed his house… which I did not.
How do I come back from losing my Temper? I can’t even apologize as now I’m discarded… and I know, I shouldn’t have to apologize. I’m just so embarrassed. -
stevie2018 – you are absolutely justified in your reaction. He was cheating on you!!!!
DO NOT APOLOGIZE. If he discarded you — GREAT!! Take advantage of this opportunity to get him out of your life.
Do not go back! No Contact is the answer.
He will cheat again. Save yourself the aggravation.
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Stevie2018- He is disordered. You had a very normal reaction to his disordered behavior.
This incident is proof of just how disordered he is. He pushed you, who never behaved like this, to do something that was totally out of character!!!
After all, he was CHEATING while in BED WITH YOU! Hello? You can’t get much worse than that.
Do not care about what he thinks. He is a SOCIOPATH!!
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Stevie2018 – what you are experiencing is absolutely normal for someone who has been betrayed by a sociopath. If you’re up for it, you might find my upcoming webinars to be helpful. They will explain everything.
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Stevie2018,
Do everything you can to put those feelings of shame aside. I get being remorseful, that is also normal. But they set these situations up for us to lose our *hit, in order to use this against us. They enjoy doing it, seeing us come unhinged. When they can throw us off center like this it is just one more example (in their twisted minds) of how powerful and in control of us they are.
I did some crazy-stoopid stuff. But now, in hind site, I forgive myself and understand we (I) can only handle so much lying and manipulating, before I crack. I also, like some other writers here, used what I learned to manipulate him back. I did this in order to GET RID OF HIM. Even though it hurt, was depressing, and it felt totally unfair.
The best this is to get away and stay away from him, and let your heart and your pride heal up.
Slim
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