Can't stop thinking about ex sociopath

[blackwidowParticipant]

Hello all,

Im new here. I’ll begin by telling you guys a little bit about my story. I met my ex over 2 years ago and we started dating shortly afterwards. The beginning of the relationship was exactly how it always starts with these sociopaths. Extreme love bombing and idealization. I was certain he was my soulmate. He is the first and only guy i’ve ever been with so he is my first EVERYTHING. Shortly after we started dating, I began to get suspicious of him because he would show up with love bites on his neck..That was the first red flag. I confronted him and asked him if he was seeing anyone other than me and of course he denied it. A few months later, a woman contacts me and she is berating me over the phone about “stop contacting MY boyfriend”. At this point, im shocked and baffled. I confront him. Long story short, I found out he was living and sleeping with not one but TWO woman! He was living off of both of them and telling them both how much he loved them! Of course he denied the ENTIRE thing and professed his love for me and only me in front of both of these women. So I forgave him. After I took him back, the relationship went to sh*t. The name calling, the false accusations, and the verbal attacks all began. He blamed EVERYTHING on me. I put in overtime to save this relationship, apologized when I wasn’t even in the wrong, and went above and beyond to prove my love to him and none of it was ever enough. Then the silent treatments began. He would disappear on me for a week at a time. Everytime he would come back, he would say “Sorry, I’m just really busy with work.” After a month and a half of this behaviour, I just couldn’t take it anymore and I had to end this toxic relationship. Its been 30 days of no contact so far but I just can not stop thinking about him.. Any tips?

[bluelenaParticipant]

It gets easier as the days go by! I’ve had the suggestion to find a project that keeps your brain busy – learn to knit, play guitar, something like that. I’m working on finding something that I’m interested in enough to follow through with!

Stay strong! 30 days is HUGE! I think of it like quitting smoking, which I did almost 9 years ago. If I have a cigarette now, I have to start counting days, weeks, months, years over again.

[SunnygalParticipant]

I really like Rick Steves travel programs so I audio recorded one and listen to it for a positive focus.

[Author]

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