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Do psychopaths hurt intentionally or do they lack emotional ability

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This topic contains 12 replies, has 9 voices, and was last updated by  traumatized41 2 months, 4 weeks ago.

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  • #41575

    mirmom04
    Participant

    My ex was so emotionally shallow i never saw any emotion. Happiness, anger, sadness nothing. He went about his day like a flat line. He had no emotional connection to me at all. All he really wanted from me was sex. After a time i learned to realize this sad fact. He never wanted to cuddle or hold hands or any of the warm fuzzies females need. Over time sexlife dimished with me saying what you apparently need is a whore not a wife. Like i said he had no emotions andxwould reply ” whatever” im now realizing i was lucky to avoid any kind of violence. Maybe i left in time. But emotional scars are there

  • #41580

    angelofdarkness
    Participant

    Most psychopaths do not hurt someone intentionally, they just don’t care if they hurt someone (and in some rare cases don’t even care about themselves).
    The psychopaths I know (and consider friends) value freedom to do whatever they want and are willing to do whatever it takes to achieve what they want, without caring or accepting that other people might get hurt. As long as it doesn’t break any laws or rules that might get them in trouble.
    “The means don’t justify the end” does rarely cross their mind.

    All people are different and some might find it entertaining to hurt people, especially if they are young.

  • #41581

    Sunnygal
    Participant

    The psychopath I know did hurt intentionally. He was very sadistic and enjoyed inflicting pain. He definitely wanted to inflict pain.

  • #43469

    kathleenkelly
    Participant

    I would say both. They do intentionally hurt others and they do lack emotional ability to care about how their actions harm others.

    My ex husband/narc/pervert knew exactly what he was doing when he deceived me and others. The porn, web cam sites, internet hook up sites, voyeuring neighbors, stealing from employers- was all carefully and methodically planned. The fact that he went through great lengths to hide his behaviors says he knew he was harming others.

    My take on this is that yes he cared about the consequences of getting caught (jail, divorce), but he did not care about the feelings of his victims (including me).

  • #43470

    kathleenkelly
    Participant

    Gas lighting is an insidious form of psychological abuse. When my narc/pervert tried to bend my reality to cover his tracks- I’d say that was intentional and deliberate. I think on some level he enjoyed the sense of power and control gas lighting gave him. He could do what ever he wanted- as long as he kept me feeling stupid or crazy.

    Trying to make someone feel stupid or crazy- so that you can get away with deceiving them is plain evil.

  • #43679

    kathleenkelly
    Participant

    I did see the “narcissistic rage” when I confronted my ex/pervert/liar/cheater about his voyeuring my teenage neighbor and porn use. He became violent when I confronted him about the hundreds of dollars of 900 dial-a- whore/porn bills he was racking up. We could barely afford diapers for our toddler….and he was spending all of our money on phone whores. And…I was pregnant with nothing for the new baby.

    I had him arrested for beating me with a telephone receiver (the old heavy phone receivers). The state of NJ ordered him into domestic violence counseling. I figured out that as long as I don’t “confront” him about his lewd sexual behaviors…….I was safe. Not to mention, he blamed them on me (you didn’t give me the sex I wanted ….so I’m entitled). Then…I caught him voyeuring my teenage neighbor- red handed. It was disgusting.

    I had no idea what I was dealing with. Counselors were of no help….and the church beat me over the head with “forgiveness.”

  • #43680

    kathleenkelly
    Participant

    They don’t have the ability to feel empathy. But they are fully aware that their behaviors are harmful to others. They know right from wrong- but hurting people does not matter to them.

  • #43681

    kathleenkelly
    Participant

    The fact that my ex/pervert/liar/cheater/narc- tried to hide his lewd sexual behavior is proof that he knew it was wrong.

  • #43720

    angelstar
    Participant

    Yes. They do intentionally hurt people for power and control. Here is a link from Donna called “Why do psychopaths want to mess with your head”.

    Why do psychopaths want to mess with your head?

    • This reply was modified 5 months, 3 weeks ago by  angelstar.
    • This reply was modified 5 months, 3 weeks ago by  angelstar.
  • #44025

    judee
    Participant

    What causes people to lose their emotions is there upbringing or some sort of training regime. That’s why psychopaths tend to have abusive parents. The parents lack of empathy toward their own child, causes that child to grow up with those values and express them upon others. Custom assignment help | Assignmentland.co.uk

  • #44521

    cesar
    Participant

    Very Nice post i rwally like it

  • #44582

    robschneider
    Participant

    They lack i guess

  • #45250

    traumatized41
    Participant

    I hear both the nature and nurture arguments and believe it probably falls somewhere on a scale in between the two depending upon the sociopath. With my sociopath it is relatively clear to me he was born like that. Juvenile problems. Problems with police from an early age. When asked why his mother moved out of the state when he was a teen, he told me “to get away from me.” Then his daughter was having truancy and other legal issues. Then I discovered his father he never knew was in prison for murder. A very strong biological component in this sociopath’s case… I cant say it was because of his upbringing. I think he does intentionally hurt to get pleasure from it and to get what he wants. I think he knows its morally wrong but doesn’t care because he has no morals.

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