How to recognize and recover from the sociopaths – narcissists in your life › Forums › Lovefraud Community Forum – General › Do Sociopaths always need to have a main supply?
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July 30, 2024 at 1:49 pm #72343celliapeach8Participant
Do Sociopaths always have to have a main supply, like a narcissist does? The Sociopath I was dealing with, has been with this one woman for about 13 years now. He was 29 and she was 47 when they met each other. She was a manager at a Ashley Furniture and it was supposed to be a one night, from what she told me. He was still married to his ex wife at the time and she later died from drinking to much. She kept throwing him out and taking him back all the time. His main supply he’s with right now, later on got together with him, after his wife passed away. When I came into the picture back in May 2020, his main supply who is now 60 was moving out of the house, due to his constant cheating and lies. I know now, that is the reason I think he was targeting me, because he knew he was losing his main supply. It seems to me that they also can’t be without a main supply at all. Just like the narcissist, who always need a main supply too. When I started seeing him, he lied to me, told it was over with her. Yet he continued to mess around with her behind my back. During this awful relationship, he emotionally abused, psychology abused me, cheated on me, sexually abused me, threatened me and harassed me as well. I figured out who she was and I reached out and I compared notes with her and she gave me some background about him. How he has been arrested, been into drugs and drinking all his life. How he always goes from woman to woman and how he is always cheating on her all the time. She told me that she has been with him throughout all his affairs (They are not married.) Those are her words. He found out that her and I talked about him and he got really upset with me about it. He didn’t want her to know anything about me at all and he was trying to keep me a secret the whole time. I was sick of being treated like this and decided to turn the tables on him and fight back. I wasn’t going to take his crap anymore. Later on this got even worse about over two years ago and now seven months ago. He really flipped out and went crazy on me over her. He started blowing up my phone harassing me, saying that I ruined his relationship with her.. (even though he has been cheating on her for years, already. Somehow this is all my fault?) Which I told him that I refuse to take any blame or anymore abuse about his problems or his cheating at all. He didn’t want to hear that at all.. He then told me, he’s going to get me fired from my job and started threatening my friends and family after that. I didn’t take any chances and when I went to work the next day, I told my supervisor about my situation and he told me to go to the VA police and tell them about my situation. So I did, they told me at work, to later go to the local police and file with them and I did. He threaten to beat me up and like I said earlier get me fired from my job as well. They took screenshots from my phone and they called him the next day and told him to leave me alone.. He was angry with me about reporting him to the police. Now please keep in mind this all over a lady who is 18 years older than the both of us and we are both only 42 years today. He dragged me through all of this all over a lady who is old enough to be both of our mothers and who he cheats on constantly and she takes him back all the time.. So that’s why I wanted to know if they have to have a main supply like a narcissist does. Donna how do I get a chance to share my whole story with you on your podcast. The things this man has done is very crazy and I have never seen anything like this before. I am taking your advice and have been taking one day at a time to heal again. I just want this to be over and done anymore. Today I am happy to say is 202 days of no contact. This isn’t easy for me to do. I feel so angry still somedays. I know if I give him any attention in any way then he wins and he then knows that he still has his hooks in me still. I don’t want to give him anything like that at all.
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July 30, 2024 at 8:11 pm #72345sept4Participant
Yes from my understanding all sociopaths are narcissists. Sociopaths are a subset of narcissists. So all sociopaths are narcissists but not all narcissists are sociopaths. Sociopaths are basically the very worst narcissists.
Your experience is actually only crazy to people who have never dealt with sociopaths/narcissists before. All of us who were in relationships with sociopaths/narcissists have been through the same things.
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September 14, 2024 at 3:18 am #72490Larissa21Participant
I was married to a narcissist for 22 years, he came from an abusive household- hated his mother and sister. I left him and took the kids and did no contact immediately. We were living in fear and walking on egg shells with his erratic behavior. I filed for divorce and had a restraint order. He broke the order 14 times until he found a new source of supply within two months of me leaving him. He finally stopped the stalking and harassment of me and my kids after he found a new source of supply, however he tormented this new source and she had a restraining order on him also, then the next woman and so on. Always in court for women to get the money he took from them, substance abuse, no moral code.
Just terrible!
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September 14, 2024 at 11:59 am #72491sept4Participant
Hi Larissa good that you got the restraining order. I never filed for one against my ex husband but I should have. This is one of my biggest regrets. Not getting a restraining order and calling police when he breaks it. Although I might have been dead right now so who knows.
I was in counseling for two years during my abuse and my counselor did nothing. I wish he had told me to seek a restraining order and call police. In my experience unless you go to police or to court nobody will do anything to help you. Everyone wants to stay out of it. I feel like a restraining order is the magic bullet. I wish I had filed for one.
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