How to recognize and recover from the sociopaths – narcissists in your life › Forums › Lovefraud Community Forum – General › Does anyone else see sociopathy everywhere now
- This topic has 5 replies, 3 voices, and was last updated 3 months, 1 week ago by sept4.
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August 17, 2024 at 3:15 pm #72409sept4Participant
Before my sociopath ex I had never really heard of sociopathy. I had no idea how to understand or spot this disorder. I had no cognitive framework to process sociopathy.
When I did my extensive research on sociopathy during my divorce I was told that sociopathy is a rare psychological disorder that only affects 1 to 4% of the population.
But now that I have come to understand this disorder very well I actually think it’s much more common than that. I see it much more often than 1-4%. Especially if you include news stories about crimes and other antisocial behavior.
There are unfortunately so many people who have no regard for the law, no regard for morality and human decency, and no regard for the rights and feelings of other people. There should be more studies about the prevalence of sociopathy. I think it is a much higher percentage of the population.
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August 19, 2024 at 1:51 pm #72415emilie18Participant
Sept4 – I agree – I think this disorder is much more frequent that most know. Sociopathy, though, is on a spectrum – a bell curve, so to speak – there are the extremely mild cases and the extremely severe, and a whole range of issues in between. However, clinically, all such behavior is termed “Antisocial Personality Disorder”. Whether it is a kid who lies all the time or a serial killer, they are all termed the same – and that is the problem. Most people hear “sociopath” and they think “Dexter”, “Hannibal” or “Ted Bundy”. The ones that we tend to meet are totally functioning in society, but have a hard-wired inability to feel empathy, regret, shame or other human emotions that keep most of us living a moral and social life. I believe that we who have survived a relationship with a sociopath and have figured out their type are now able to recognize one when we encounter one – and that then feels like there are a whole lot more than the 1-4% psychiatrists claim have a personality disorder. Kind of like buying a yellow car then seeing yellow cars everywhere! I feel it is up to us, who have this privileged knowledge, to share it with the world. I know my granddaughters now are very, very aware of the dangers out there.
- This reply was modified 3 months, 3 weeks ago by emilie18.
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August 22, 2024 at 10:55 am #72429Donna AndersenKeymaster
Sept4 – The issue of prevalence is difficult for multiple reasons. First of all, there is confusion about the definitions – what disorders are we actually talking about? Then, how many people could actually be diagnosed with the conditions? And what about the people who have some of the traits but not all of them?
The figure of 1% to 4% refers specifically to antisocial personality disorder. It does not include the people with narcissistic personality disorder, which also cause havoc. It also doesn’t include the other cluster B personality disorders – borderline and histrionic. People with all of these disorders are capable of ruining your life.
I refer to them collectively as “sociopaths.”
Multiple studies have estimated how many people have these disorders, and the range is from 6% to 17%. I think the average – 12% – is about right.
Now, these are the people who could be diagnosed. There are also people who have partial disorders and not the full condition. These people are also capable of causing havoc.
No one knows who many partially disordered individuals there are. Let’s just assume that it’s the same number as those who could be fully diagnosed. That makes 24% of the population who can make your life miserable.
Maybe that’s the number to keep in mind.
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August 31, 2024 at 5:00 am #72449sept4Participant
Donna and Emilie yes it is truly scary to realize how many disordered dangerous people there are. If it’s 24% wow that is one in four people you meet.
I went from being completely clueless about these disorders to understanding them so well that I can’t relate to how blind and confused I was. I went from total confusion to understanding everything to the point I cannot imagine living without this knowledge about the dark side of human nature.
It took me a decade of learning and educating myself and of course this knowledge came the hard way from marrying someone who intentionally abused me and ruined my life. It’s just a crazy learning curve when you go from being so naive and trusting about human nature to waking up to the dark side that there are unfortunately many humans who do NOT have good intentions and who are out there just trying to use and abuse people. And then to realize that these people are NOT rare but they are actually all around us.
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August 31, 2024 at 10:43 am #72450emilie18Participant
Sept4 and Donna – I, too, was shocked at the high percentage of disordered people around.. but, like I said, these traits runs on a curve – some are so mildly disordered it is barely detectable, while others are so out there it is ridiculous. I have become so suspicious of people’s actions, even though I try not to read into normal everyday interactions anything other than normal, everyday intent…it is hard when you KNOW what it feels like to be sucked into their orbit then spit out. But, I’d rather be a bit cynical than hurt again.
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September 1, 2024 at 4:29 pm #72455sept4Participant
Emilie yes my default position is now to not trust strangers. “Stranger danger” was true all along haha. The only people I trust are a very small circle of close family and longtime friends who have always loved me and supported me.
As to anyone outside my small circle my position is not that they are evil but that I simply DO NOT KNOW their true character. I no longer assume that humans in general are inherently good and trustworthy. I acknowledge to myself that I simply do not know if they are good or bad and that bad people can appear good to manipulate us.
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