Happy New Year ………..Moving forward

[funluvmusic25]

Hello everyone: I thought I would post some positive progress in my healing journey. Sometimes the holidays can bring nostalgia, sadness and loneliness as we try to move through our healing and the loss of our relationship. I had previously posted that I had received a Christmas card from my ex-N after 13 months of NC. No doubt it surprised me all right!

Instead of allowing cognitive dissonance to take over my thoughts I decided to take a lesson from one of Donna’s posts. I reframed this event and used this as an opportunity
for healing. I realized he’s not thinking of me and missing me, instead he’s throwing a wide net to see if he can get a nibble from someone…..anyone. I’m not that special to him……. I’m one of many. This helped me reverse my thoughts and see the clarity. He will continue to do what he does, but it will no longer affect me.

Abruptly going NC without warning has given me the most satisfaction. I was no longer going to waste my breath pleading or reasoning with him. I had enough of his BS. It finally became my decision and remains my decision to live my life without him. I take one day at a time and do my best to live in the present and enjoy the present. He’s become an afterthought and I no longer continue to ruminate. For once I’m doing something different, breaking a dysfunctional cycle and I’m reaping the benefits!

Cognitive dissonance is like a teeter-totter…….all of your thoughts seem to weigh down one side and it becomes unbalanced. Once you begin to heal and see the clarity, the teeter-totter starts to go the other way in your favor.

As we head into 2024 I hope we continue to heal and become stronger and wiser.
Happy New Year to all !!

[emilie18]

funluvmusic25 – What am amazing, heart warming post! I am so very proud of you for taking your life back and moving forward with hope, self-caring and love. You rock!

Here’s hoping 2024 brings clarity, peace and healing to us all.

• This reply was modified 1 year, 4 months ago by emilie18.

[funluvmusic25]

emilie18: Thanks so much for your kind and encouraging words! I always look forward to reading your posts that are filled with kindness, empathy and spot on wisdom.

The most challenging piece of finally letting go was the emotional connection and the cognitive dissonance. Once I was able to see the reality of my dysfunctional relationship, I vowed he would not have anymore control over me. I will not give him another opportunity to hurt me.

That said, I’m considering your suggestion of burning his stinkin’ holiday card, yet that might be a waste of my good energy. Instead, I think the card would have a more fitting resting place in a dirty landfill somewhere…….lol.

[Donna Andersen]

funluvmusic25 – You sound great! I’m so glad you were able to stay strong and choose what was best for yourself. Good for you!

[funluvmusic25]

Donna- Thanks for your encouraging words! I do believe what keeps me going is that it was my choice to go NC. Oh sure, I have my moments missing what was familiar, yet I know how detrimental it would be to get on that old familiar hamster wheel again. No thanks! Looking forward to a new year!

[Author]

Posts