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Help! Am I really as bad as he says I am?

Home Forums Lovefraud Community Forum – General Help! Am I really as bad as he says I am?

This topic contains 7 replies, has 7 voices, and was last updated by  Jan7 1 week, 5 days ago.

  • Author
    Posts
  • #48224

    taliana1
    Participant

    I have just received 16 hours of vitriolic anuse. I’m really frightened. I can’t stop crying. I need people by my side

  • #48230

    ridgid
    Participant

    Do you have any close friends or family whom you can talk with?

  • #48233

    Sunnygal
    Participant

    You can call the National Domestic violence hotline.

  • #48250

    Donna Andersen
    Keymaster

    Taliana1 – No, you are not what he says, and he has just inflicted you with a typical narcissistic abuse strategy. It’s time to go No Contact with that man. He will never change, and you do not deserve the abuse.

  • #48307

    slimone
    Participant

    taliana1,

    Please please please…don’t let FEAR keep you from leaving him, and going 100% NO CONTACT. It is the only way to start healing. I know I felt paralyzed by my fear, and had such a difficult time taking a stand for myself and saying NO MORE. I just felt to weak and vulnerable.

    The thing is. The reason we feel weak and vulnerable is our exposure to their lies and manipulations. It DEVASTATES US. We have to take the first step and stop letting them in. Like vampires, they can only do this to us if we keep letting them in. SAY NO. Just disconnect and stop listening to EVERYTHING coming from him.

    If you do not take this step for yourself this cycle will go on until he disappears. TAKE BACK YOUR LIFE. Protect your precious heart. These moments of your life are YOURS, they are limited and dear. Please protect each moment. Be kind to yourself.

    No matter, and I mean NO MATTER, what he tells you about yourself. Even if some of it is true. THE END RESULT IS A LIE. It is a big fat lie. HE is a big fat lie.

    HUGS….Slim

  • #48359

    yellowsubmarine
    Participant

    I think you are bad, very bad. You put up with 16 hrs. of abuse when you could have gotten out of the house. You chose abuse over safety. So get therapy immediately. You are a infirm codependent, as was I, and you still have to ask if you are bad because he won’t allow you to think for yourself. Follow everyone’s advice. Of course you are not bad for him, you are bad for yourself. Save yourself. Change the locks, Have police numbers at hand. Suffer in agony for being alone. Better alone and alive than in the company of many at the cemetery. Choose life.

  • #48363

    Jan7
    Participant

    Taliana, I’m so sorry that you are enduring this hell. Please know there is help out. There is amazing help here at Lovefraud (just look on the home page) to open your mind up from his brain washing. That is what he is doing to you.

    Also, please contact your local abuse center for an “Domestic abuse Exit & Safety plan” out of your relationship. The most dangerous time of a victim of abuse is when they are ready to leave their abuse or have just left. So please ask for help with your local abuse center & do a search on this exit plan also. Educate yourself here at Lovefraud as the local abuse center may not give you the full education on who you are really dealing with but Lovefraud will.

    For your safety Remember to clear your computer history each time you come here or do a search on abuse.

    Sending you hug hugs hon. PLEASE KNOW YOU ARE NOT ALONE ANYMORE…we hear you & are hear for you. Keep posting & reading. Watch the videos up at the top of Lovefraud home page.

    Find an Endocriologist doctor to test you for cortisol levels (fight, flight or freeze response mode), vitamin & mineral deficiency, thyroid T3 & T4, hormonal imbalance. Most victims suffer from these due to the continual stress they are under at the hands of a sociopath. Look up Adrenal fatigue. See sites like Dr Lam. com and Adrenal fatigue. org. See their symptoms list to see if you are suffering from this.

    Hugs to you.

    • This reply was modified 1 week, 5 days ago by  Jan7.
  • #48364

    Jan7
    Participant

    yellowsubmarin, you state:

    “I think you are bad, very bad. You put up with 16 hrs. of abuse when you could have gotten out of the house. You chose abuse over safety”

    THIS IS NOT HELPING THIS VICTIM…THIS IS FUTHER BELITTLING HER AFTER SHE JUST SUFFERED 16 HOURS OF THE SAME. SHE IS ASKING FOR HELP. BE KIND TO HER!!

    BTW: most times it is NOT safe to leave the house when the abuser is in a violent rage due to the abuser fearful that you will tell someone if you get out of the house. So please be thoughtful in your response to others. Everyone that comes here is extremely broken down emotionally & mentally from the abuse they are enduring and they are looking for people to lift them up not tear them down.

    The best thing someone can do if it can be done safely is get in a safe room in the house, lock the door & call emergency ASAP (911 in the USA). If they can get out of the house safely then they should do this but at the same time call 911 or emergency.

    • This reply was modified 1 week, 5 days ago by  Jan7.

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