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Help me I'm falling apart

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This topic contains 4 replies, has 5 voices, and was last updated by  traumatized41 1 month ago.

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  • #42432

    sweetness1986
    Participant

    Hi my narc left me two weeks ago cruelly he dumped my and left took all his things which must be the sixth time maybe more.
    It’s been every six months for four years and sometimes a little few days here and there.
    He had been in touch with me a little over the last two wks but not much.
    On Friday I text him and broke three days of no contact and asked him to come and collect the rest of his stuff as we were done.
    He called me at work going mental saying why am I saying we are done do I want cleanerance to go and sleep with somebody else?
    He proceeded to tell me he was going away for the wkend with his friends and how amazing his life is without me and how much I’ve actually been dragging him down because I’m clingy needy and insecure.
    Then he said you have decided to get a job now well it’s to fucking late for that I have funded us for months. He has never funded me I always pay my own way and for my children he pays me the bare minimum towards the house.
    Then he said why have you messaged me why can’t you ever give me time to think.
    He just proceeded to rant on about what a waste of space I am etc
    I was crying at work it was awful I did nothing to deserve it I’ve only ever been there for him for four years and I never ask for a thing.
    I still check his Facebook he’s still got photos of us together which I asked him to remove and he said he would but hasn’t. All wkend I’ve been going out of my mind wondering what he is up to I’ve not slept I’ve been crying. I seen he hadn’t been active on his acc for a whole day and night and I felt sick. We aren’t friends I removed him as a friend last week but I can still see him in the app. I don’t want to obsess over him I bet he’s laughing his head off at me.
    I want this pain to go away I want to stop checking his page and wait for the pics to be removed I told him to do it but I know when he does it will hurt me.
    He usually does msg me when we aren’t together and pretends to care and says he misses me but he hasn’t this time I feel each time he’s acted more distant than the last like each time he becomes colder with it.
    Everyone is trying to help me through this they don’t understand how I can love a monster like this they tell me your so pretty and sweet and your wasting your time on him and he isn’t even all that.
    I don’t know why I do it I’ve been lost for two weeks I’m so used my life being revolved around him and what he wants and his needs.
    Is don’t know what to do I just want it all to go away 😢

  • #42460

    Stargazer
    Participant

    Dear sweetness, I know it hurts, but you must stop answering his texts and checking his Facebook. Please please cut him out of your life – every trace of him. He does not respect you and is playing with you. If you just make a decision to cut him out of your life for your own self-respect, your heart will still hurt, but you will hopefully feel stronger because you are taking control of your life and not allowing a disordered jerk to walk all over you. If you can do this, I can pretty much guarantee that in 6 months (maybe less), you will realize it was the best thing that ever happened to you that he discarded you. You don’t need someone like that in your life dragging YOU down. Get yourself to the gym, to a dance class, an art class, an animal shelter, or whatever it is you like to do. Try to get your mind off him at least for minutes out of your day. Be prepared that when you get stronger, he will try to come back to get you addicted to him again and then play the same games. Be strong. Just walk away.

  • #42471

    Sunnygal
    Participant

    No contact is the only way to recover. The book The 5 Step Exit may help.

  • #42489

    viva
    Participant

    sweetness… why would you love someone who doesn’t treat you right? Time you started treating you right… time you started listening to yourself and what you already know. Time your life started revolving around you – not in the way that his revolves around him but in that healthy way that has you caring about your well-being and making sure that those around you value you for you and not just for what you do for them.

  • #43584

    traumatized41
    Participant

    Sweetness, i understand exactly where you are coming from. With my sp he would go off the handle when i would try to talk to him about his lies and exploiting and say i have a lot of nerve and that i have cheated on him. I have never cheated on him. I tell him that basically bc he is how he is i am not going to completely give up on dating others bc he cant be trusted. Some how i am also a nag. I only want a normal semi healthy relationship. But he spins things and i start to question myself. But no matter how awful he is there is still a magnetism to stay with him. I guess ultimately we have to see past the magnetism to what is really there…a heartless exploiter who is messing with our hearts and minds. I hear where you are coming from… .

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