lf2

I'm sick of people telling me I should have moved on by now

This topic contains 5 replies, has 5 voices, and was last updated by  Stargazer 4 weeks ago.

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  • #39518

    cloud79
    Participant

    I can’t talk to anyone about what had happened to me as no one understands what I am going through. It has been only 3 months since I discovered all the horrible things he did to me . Everyone I talk to tells me ‘oh stop thinking about it , move on , he is not worth it, I want you to find a normal guy, etc’. How am I meant to forget a year of outrageous lies, cheating, manipulation, the fact that he forged his divorce, wanted to commit bigamy, got his wife pregnant while being with me and pretending to be divorced, deliberately tried to infect me with an sti, run with a loaded gun in the middle of the night, all the arguments and threats, all the sleepless nights when I was worried about his health , all the made up medical contitions to make me feel sorry for him?’ Why are people so insensitive, why don’t the get that it’s not just a break up and it wasn’t a relationship that simply did not work out?

  • #40051

    PhoenixRising2015
    Participant

    You don’t have to forget it. Allow yourself the time to heal. But focus on healing. You can’t change anything he did.

    People who have not been through this type of relationship will not understand it. It is NOT a normal breakup. Know that, be aware of that and work on healing yourself. That does not mean they do not care, it’s just too surreal sometimes to be able for others to empathize I think.

    I was fortunate enough to have amazingly supportive reactions from friends and family. That support was so essential to helping me through. If you’re not getting the support you need from your friends and family, try a support group, therapist or reach out on here.

  • #42303

    Sunnygal
    Participant

    Allow yourself the time to heal and read the articles here. They can be helpful.

  • #42350

    junebug
    Participant

    I understand what you’re saying. Society’s imposed time limits on grief are as insensitive as they are stupid. I say talk as much as you like on here-nobody will tell you to you should have moved on.

    Well, I just joined literally today…but I assume that to be the case since it IS a support forum. 🙂

    I’m in a weird place where I feel the urge to talk about things but don’t feel much else about it. And I’m not sure whether or not a proverbial other shoe will eventually drop and I’ll be in some kind of horrible whirlwind of emotion. Please no. I like my eternal equilibrium. I don’t like it disrupted.

    • This reply was modified 4 weeks ago by  junebug.
  • #42354

    Stargazer
    Participant

    Three months is not a lot of time when you’ve been traumatized by a sociopath. This is the emotional equivalent of being run over by a truck. It will take more time to process than a normal relationship because it’s really hard to wrap your mind around what he is and what he did. Give yourself the time, and maybe don’t talk about it to people who don’t understand.

  • #42355

    Stargazer
    Participant

    Junebug, there is no set way for how you should recover. No one here will judge you for talking without feeling much. The feelings may come some time down the road. Or not. It is not for anyone to judge. Feel free to talk on here in any way you need to.

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