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Is my partner simply too busy and unstable?

This topic contains 1 reply, has 2 voices, and was last updated by  littleredrh 5 months, 1 week ago.

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  • #39534

    Colorofblue
    Participant

    Have been involved with a woman… divorced Mother to 2 kids for almost 2 years. There have definitely been some signs of narcissist patterns… Went through a brutal discard phase a year ago, but hung it out because she was very inexperienced with relationships and thought we could work it out. The past 3 weeks she has not initiated hardly any of the communication. She truly is extremely busy with the kids and her demanding job, but the lack of communication is disturbing and I have mentioned it to her. She immediately owned up to the issue and said she would do better
    . Thus far, I have not seen it.. we have a good time when we are together… But lately there seems to be a communication blackout… Is this just a case of someone being too busy? She seems to be responsive when I initiate communication but I am tired of being the only one supporting the relationship… How do I get out of this confusion and take steps to take better care of myself? If she is trying to send a message that she no longer cares for me, then why do we have a great time together on weekends? Note that I am hesitant to talk with her about this… Uggh… Because of previous negative reactions.. silent treatment and word salad… Very weird word salad… That she is so engaged with all her friends and life itself… And yes.. I am somewhere included in all this… Anyway.. is this person just confused and unstable? Or do they have a serious disorder?

  • #40756

    littleredrh
    Participant

    You seem like a nice guy; I’m not a psychology expert so I can’t answer your question. Additionally there’s not enough information about your partner or how this is affecting you negatively.

    My advice to you would be to enjoy the time you have with her and be honest about how her treatment of the relationship is somewhat shallow and lacking in real growth & partnership. Make her understand the importance and value of choosing to work on a partnership in the context of the other priorities in her life. If she fails to see your point, then perhaps you might want to choose a more rewarding relationship.

    If your partner doesn’t experience dysfunction, depression, or exploitative behaviors, then it is unlikely they have a mental disorder. But it is clear that this person is probably very shallow and lacking in emotional depth, not “growing up”, which could affect how she raises her children.

    Good luck & God bless.

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