• Menu
  • Skip to right header navigation
  • Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar
  • Skip to footer

Lovefraud | Escape sociopaths – narcissists in relationships

How to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths - narcissists

  • Search
  • Cart
  • My Account
  • Contact
  • Register
  • Log in
  • Search
  • Cart
  • My Account
  • Contact
  • Register
  • Log in
  • About
  • Talk to Donna
  • Videos
  • Store
  • Blog
  • Forum
  • News
  • Podcasts
  • Webinars
  • About
  • Talk to Donna
  • Videos
  • Store
  • Blog
  • Forum
  • News
  • Podcasts
  • Webinars

Is This a Form of Narcissistic Hoovering?

You are here: Home / Topics / Is This a Form of Narcissistic Hoovering?

How to recognize and recover from the sociopaths – narcissists in your life › Forums › Lovefraud Community Forum – General › Is This a Form of Narcissistic Hoovering?

  • This topic has 3 replies, 2 voices, and was last updated 8 years, 1 month ago by josef219.
Viewing 2 reply threads
  • Author
    Posts
    • May 25, 2017 at 10:43 am #40872
      metisgal
      Participant

      Two weeks ago, the former narcissist in my life returned via texting… offering odd comments such as ‘we were good together’… ‘we had great times’… ‘love conquers all’… which extended to a wish to explain everything ‘the next time’ he saw me. I said there wasn’t going to be a next time. I had left him two months previous for various abusive reasons, the worst of which was his repeated pursuing of other women and telling THEM he loved them… although I was his ‘soulmate’, ‘meant to be’, ‘his ideal woman’. When I said no… he continued to press me for ‘dinner to discuss’. Almost fell for it… then decided to check on his sincerity early the next morning and drove to his house… to find he had a girl sleeping over who looked right at home as if she’d been there countless times. I called him out on his pursual of me when he was seeing someone and left. Within an hour he was texting me… telling me how nice he was, asking me for dinner… it was CONSTANT. I started no contact and blocked his calls and sent messages into spam. Recently I checked them and he has sent numerous texts several times every day wanting me to contact him… the most frequent and repeated text is “Hi can u please call me its important”… sometimes he gets a little creative and prefaces the word ‘important’ with the words ‘very very’. Why is he doing this? If something is SO IMPORTANT wouldn’t he simply state what that thing is? Just tell me? Not require me to call? This is all new to me and I’m slowly learning… but is this hoovering in action? Thanks for listening or any advice 🙂

    • May 30, 2017 at 3:42 pm #40896
      josef219
      Participant

      Don’t fall for it, this is a tactic they use to appeal to your empathic nature. There’s nothing important, it’s a way to get you to see him so that if he has you in person his chances if sucking you back in are greater. Mine tried this and when I agreed to see him it was about his father dying of cancer….which was a complete and total lie! Stay strong ….no contact is best and don’t read blocked messages, you need to move on, he is dangerous, souless, and not interested in your wellbeing! Be strong!

      • This reply was modified 8 years, 1 month ago by josef219.
      • June 6, 2017 at 10:27 am #40965
        metisgal
        Participant

        Thank you SO MUCH for responding… reading your advice sure helped me stay strong and not waffle into wistfulness thinking… hmmmm… maybe he IS missing me and fighting for me back… but no. You’ve helped confirm what I suspected was going on… that and thinking back about all his sneaky lies. No ambivalence now. He still hasn’t let up… but I have. Thank you 🙂

    • June 6, 2017 at 4:40 pm #40967
      josef219
      Participant

      It’s easy to get sucked in, when I had my first fight with my spath, I should have left him and under normal circumstances I would have been out the door in a heartbeat….but then he started crying and beating his head with his fists professing how much he loved me and how sorry he was. It was all an act, but at the time, I’d never seen anyone tell me this or demonstrate such remorse.
      So they get us believing, ” wow, this guy is different, he must really love me”
      When in reality they are just spinning the web to trap us into staying so they can suck the life out of us.
      They are all the same …your goal is to find happiness with yourself and then when that happens, you can search for real love from someone with real emotions …..follow your gut, it’s never wrong!
      ❤️

  • Author
    Posts
Viewing 2 reply threads
  • You must be logged in to reply to this topic.
Log In

Primary Sidebar

Shortcuts to Lovefraud information

Shortcuts to the Lovefraud information you're looking for:

Explaining everyday sociopaths

Is your partner a sociopath?

How to leave or divorce a sociopath

Recovery from a sociopath

Senior Sociopaths

Love Fraud - Donna Andersen's story

Share your story and help change the world

Lovefraud Blog Recent Comments

  • recovery46 on LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: He assured me he would never, could never hurt me like that again: “Bernice—it’s 2025 and my experience with the spath was EXACTLY the same! I kept rereading bc all the details were…”
  • sept4 on LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: Letting go of monetary justice is releasing the ties that bind: “This is what I actually struggle with most now that I am a decade out of divorce. I did not…”
  • Donna Andersen on 10 Crucial strategies for leaving the sociopath: “Good point! Thank you”
  • sept4 on 10 Crucial strategies for leaving the sociopath: “All very true and very good advice. I would like to add that too can always call police if you…”
  • eleanoreliza1234 on When bad behavior shows symptoms, not flaws  : “What a beautifully composed response by Emilie 18! Reassuring to know that others have experienced the same. Thank you, Emilie.”

Lovefraud Blog categories

  • Explaining sociopaths
    • Female sociopaths
    • Scientific research
    • Workplace sociopaths
    • Book reviews
  • Seduced by a sociopath
    • Targeted Teens and 20s
  • Sociopaths and family
    • Law and court
  • Recovery from a sociopath
    • Spiritual and energetic recovery
    • For children of sociopaths
    • For parents of sociopaths
  • Letters to Lovefraud and Spath Tales
    • Media sociopaths
  • Lovefraud Continuing Education

Footer

Inside Lovefraud

  • Author profiles
  • Blog categories
  • Post archives by year
  • Media coverage
  • Press releases
  • Visitor agreement

Your Lovefraud

  • Register for Lovefraud.com
  • Sign up for the Lovefraud Newsletter
  • How to comment
  • Guidelines for comments
  • Become a Lovefraud CE Affiliate
  • Lovefraud Affiliate Dashboard
  • Contact Lovefraud
  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • LinkedIn
  • Pinterest
  • Twitter
  • YouTube

Meta

  • Register
  • Log in
  • Entries feed
  • Comments feed
  • WordPress.org

Copyright © 2025 Lovefraud | Escape sociopaths - narcissists in relationships · All Rights Reserved · Powered by Mai Theme