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I was with my ex for four years, two of which he cheated on me. I ended it almost two years ago and he ended up with the girl. They now live together. For a year and a half he begged me back. He is in the middle of a custody evaluation to get custody of his son, I threatened to go to the evaluator with evidence of his abuse if he didn’t stop, and I have not heard from him in almost two months. He was always with this other girl while he was begging for me back. The abuse was terrible and I have been suffering from ptsd.
The other girl is the issue now. For almost three years now, she has stalked me online. I had to delete my facebook page, restart my Instagram and make it private, and have changed my twitter account countless times. She always manages to find me. Every single friend I send a message to, she blocks almost hours later. It’s like she has it open on her browser. My friends have never reached out to her. Nor would they. Because she has my friends blocked, I can’t delete and make a new account. If I do, she can go into her blocked list, look at my friends, see who they are following, and find me again. She has done it before. Very quickly.
Today I looked at her Twitter account after almost a year of not looking and I shouldn’t have. I tweet articles about sociopaths, etc, and on her page she “responds” to me. I think he managed to convince her I was the abusive one. Her tweets were like “We know what you are. Stop pretending it was him. We know what you did to him.” When I said I was going to get a new tattoo, she unleashed a series of tweets saying she was so glad how she doens’t have any, and how people with tattoos are scumbags. Anything I post, she has a response to and it is unnerving and within a few hours of my posting. These tweets go back months/years.
I am 32 years old and she is 23. I am aware she is young and I have to proceed delicately because she’s not quite mature and when he met her, she was not mature. Do I ignore it? Pretend like it’s not happening? It is making my skin crawl knowing she is looking. I had my account private for approximately six months in the hope she would stop and even then I guess she kept checking to see if I would make it public again, which I did.
I also used to have a blog where I would write daily. She had found that, I had an IP tracker (I knew of the town she worked/where she lived). She looked at my blog upwards of 30 times a day. I eventually deleted it because knowing she was looking that much really scared me.
I had asked my ex when we were still talking if he could please have her stop but he said he was tired of the drama and it was my fault. I think he loved that it was still going on after all this time. I truly want to be left alone. Keep in mind, I don’t post personal things on there. I never post what I’m doing, details of my relationships, photos. It is mainly articles/political nonsense. I keep it as boring as possible.
What would you guys do?
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Did you get resolution? I am dealing with almost EXACTLY what you are describing. Only difference is my ex was the type to get engaged/married quickly, so he’s my ex husband and she’s his new wife. I already have PTSD, anxiety, and panic attacks from his abuse during our marriage, and anxiety from no one believing me. Now I feel like I need to constantly look over my shoulder. I will go months without thinking about them, then I accidentally post something publicly (on my facebook), and I’ll switch it to private but I just know she’s watching and saw it. She replies to every thing, I update my profile photo, she “replies”, I create a website for my business, she “replies”, some times it isn’t even on social media, it’s just something through a grapevine or something, and she “replies”. But they are surreptitious replies, like, it will just be a list of emotiocons or something vague but specific to my most recent public thing, so I feel like if I try to tell anyone else that she is watching me and show them proof, they wont believe it. I nearly don’t believe it, I but I will test it by making an old post public, and damn near immediately she will reply with something specific to that.
She’s not actually DOING anything to me, so I wonder if I should just ignore it and try to make myself forget that she’s probably still replying to everything I do. But it gives me so much anxiety, I don’t have a linkedin or other professional pages because I’m worried she’ll attempt to sabotage me, she seems like that sort of spiteful crazy person. She’s nearly 40 though, she should know better. I don’t get it, I have no contact with them and no reason for our lives to ever cross paths again, and it’s not like I am a threat, I am in a new relationship with someone that treats me like I am a precious gift every day. Why is she so obsessed with me?
I’m a little concerned she’ll find this even.
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beingcybestalked- Stalkers want power and control. I think they are disordered. I would ignore her and she will eventually go away.
SG
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being- Gavin deBecker talks about this in his book The Gift of Fear.
SG
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