How to recognize and recover from the sociopaths in your life › Forums › Sociopaths, narcissists, psychopaths as partners › Narcissist or Sociopath?
October 10, 2016 at 10:53 pm #39457
Hi everyone! I’m a first-time poster, and I am wondering if you can help me determine if my ex-boyfriend was a narcissist, a sociopath, both, or something else entirely. Thank you in advance for your help!
He seems to fit almost every sociopathic quality–pathological lying, manipulating, stealing ($13K and counting), deflecting blame, angry outbursts, substance abuse, feelings of superiority, idealization and then devaluation–but he also REALLY seems to thrive on receiving praise and approval from others. He wasn’t unfaithful to me, and he never triangulated me with other women. Additionally, he *seemed* to be prone to occasional, intense bouts of insecurity, depression and anxiety. (He has actually been clinically diagnosed with ADD, depression and anxiety–but I know a sociopath could fake that.)
My biggest question is that he seems so delusional that some part of me thinks he actually believes his own lies. He seems to exist in this entire alternate reality where he actually IS the hero of the story, and everyone around him is out to mistreat him or ruin him–despite ALL evidence to the contrary.
Is it possible a sociopath could delude themselves in this way? Or is he a narcissist? Or something else entirely?
Thanks again for your help, and I look forward to hearing your thoughts!
October 10, 2016 at 10:58 pm #39756
I forgot to mention that I am the one who ended the relationship. He pursued me hard for two additional months, wrote me love songs and told an entire web of new lies in order to win me back. When it finally became clear that I wasn’t returning, he lashed out at me, called me all the horrible things he should be calling himself (manipulative, ego-driven, hypocritical, liar, etc.), blocked me on social media and then told me never to speak to him again.
My only thought: “GLADLY!” 😉
October 14, 2016 at 9:28 am #39757
SugarMagnolia – All sociopaths are also narcissists, but not all narcissists are sociopaths. The difference seems to be the degree of malice in their behavior. Sociopaths will intentionally hurt someone, whereas narcissists are just so focused on getting what they want for themselves that they are kind of clueless that they’re hurting other people.
In all honesty, it really doesn’t matter what his official diagnosis might be. He is bad news. He will never change. I am glad that you are away from him.
You must be logged in to reply to this topic.