Need advice for when he brings family/friends to gang up on me

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My live in boyfriend has been diagnosed with antisocial personality disorder, and is a registered sex offender. I’ve been living with him for six years, and we have a four year old child. I’m involved with a domestic violence shelter and in the process of leaving him.

Despite his criminal record, he has managed to trash my reputation. I have no family in the area, and whenever I even try to discuss an issue or problem with him, he runs out of the house with our child, claiming that he needs to “protect himself” from my “abuse”. He is very charming, and his friends and family all believe that he is reformed, and that I am the problem. He often brings them over to our home to “support” him. They all gang up on me, tell me that I’m mentally ill, an unfit mother, and that I cannot be left alone with our child. I’ve been to two therapists and have never been diagnosed with any mental illness- one was a Ph.D who did psych and personality testing at my request, and the other is at the domestic violence shelter. I’m outnumbered. I don’t even raise my voice at him. He hits me, threatens to kill me, but when I tell them this, they call me, “delusional”, “irrational”. He says he’s “putting his foot down” and “standing firm”, and they all are proud of him and he is proud of himself.

I am totally perplexed as to how to respond to these events when I am outnumbered by these people who are in my home, will not leave, and will not believe anything I say. They have no authority over my child (I actually have custody), but are taking it by force. The police have said that they will not be involved because he is removing the child from arguments, and that is a good thing. I don’t even yell. It is a punishment, and a power and control move. He refuses to spend one night away from our child. I’ve spent many nights away since he removes and conceals her at the slightest hint of a disagreement.

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