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Hi Everyone. Asking a question for my daughter. She has been in an emotionally/psychologically abusive relationship for 3 years, she’s nearly 21. She’s been out of home for most of those 3 years. She has been isolated from us and won’t let us talk to her about her relationship. But, we saw her on Christmas and she showed me the itchy skin patches she has on her legs. She said she has spent a lot of money going to the doctor about it and she’s got cream, but it keeps coming back. The spots were quite sparse, flat, shiny pink, irregular sides, a bit bigger than a thumbnail. Only on her legs. And itchy. The doc says it’s an allergic reaction, possibly to something like to a new lotion. My daughter says she isn’t using anything different. I have looked it up and can’t find anything that looks similar on the internet. I was wondering if it is possible it could be a stress reaction to her life? Has anyone had any itchy spots that sound like this, and could they be stress related? Thanks so much
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Freedom, I don’t think that one can know for sure if the rash is stress related, but many ailments can be caused or exacerbated by stress. Since it’s only on her legs and the doctor who saw it thinks it’s an allergy to something, it’s probably most likely that’s what it is. Maybe laundry detergent, or the dye or fabric from a new pair of tights or pants, or the moisture strip on a razor, could be anything. Perhaps she can think of all the things that touch her legs throughout the day and night?
It must be so difficult for a parent to see her continue in the harmful relationship and not to be able to protect her. Consider that the best thing you can do to help her is to continue to interact with her in positive ways, respect her wishes not to discuss her relationship, and always be available in a non judgmental way to help her if she ever requests it. Try to avoid thinking “I told you so” when she decides to leave. She is young and there is every reason to believe that she will probably leave the relationship when she is ready if it is a harmful relationship.
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I used to have constant excema between my fingers when I was married to a sociopath. It was extremely itchy. There was a really strong cream that worked well, I’ll try to remember the name. After we divorced I almost never had the rash again. Hugs to you and your daughter.
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Hi Freedomformydaughter, YES! I believe that this could be stress related. I had extreme dry skin on my lower legs look like lizard skin flaking off when i was with my ex a sociopath. The doctors did not know what was causing it but now I know I had adrenal fatigue.
Have her look at the symptoms of Adrenal fatigue. See sites like Dr Lam. com & Adrenal fatigue. org plus google. Both of these sites have a good symptoms list.
On another support site for victims of sociopaths ask the question: “Did you have health issues when with the sociopath”. Over 400 victims of a sociopath responded with YES! Most posted their symptoms which were all symptoms of adrenal fatigue.
The adrenal glands regulate the body’s blood pressure, blood sugar, cortisol & adrenaline levels (fight, flight or freeze mode) and over 50 hormones. The adrenal glands are a HUGE deal and over looked by most doctors as the root issue of their health issues.
With continual stress such as a TOXIC relationship the adrenal glands burn out and then wreak havoc on the body & mind. This is part of the reason a vicim stays with the sociopath (I believe from my own experience).
The good news is removing the stress (i.e. sociopath) and with a clean diet, rest & relaxation, vitamins & mineral supplements & possible hormonal balancing you can heal your adrenal glands. It can take up to 6 months to 2 years to heal the adrenal glands depending how long you have been stressed out. I would also recommend that you look at STD photos. it is extremely common for a sociopath to have endless affairs, one night stands and even sleeping with hookers.
The top symptoms of adrenal fatigue are anxiety, depression, sleep issues, mood changes etc etc but on there is skin issues as well.
To help your daughter leave this evil man look at the book Freedom of mind by Steven Hassan and his site Freedom of mind resource center. If you do a search here at love fraud you will find Donna’s write up on this book.
Steven Hassan is a cult & domestic abuse expert who has been on 60 minutes, Larry King Live, CNN, Fox, John Walsh show (look up this show) etc etc. He was sucked into a cult when he was in college with the help of his family & former cult members he was able to escape & then returned to college studying counseling & has been a counselor dealign with ex cult members & domestic abuse surviver.s
The one thing in his book you need to focus on is never try to talk your daughter out of her relationship or belittle the sociopath she is with. The sociopath has since day one manipulate her to protect him from others & this will only bond her to him even more.
The best thing you can do is ask her questions!! Such as Did you know that the bulk of domestic abuse is emotional, mental & verbal abuse? You can say something like “I was reading an article today in xyz magazine & it stated that the bulk of domestic abuse is emotional, mental & verbal abuse.
Then let her think about it. Dont push her to answer. If she starts a conversation then you can fill her in on the details of what emotional, mental & verbal abuse is. If she does not want to talk about it dont push here just let her think about it. You will need to educate yourself of these by reading Lovefraud & looking at your countries national violence abuse hotline website. Also do a search here a love fraud on “Gas lighting abuse” and on the net. This is one of the most stealth form of emotional & mental abuse a sociopath uses to push their victims over their emotional edge = for fun and control.
If she does not want to talk about it. That is OK!! You have planted a seed in her mind. She will think about this over & over during fights with her bf.
Sociopaths are CULT LEADERS!! Your daughter is his cult follower!!
Sociopath literally use brain washing, mind control, gas lighting abuse, reward & punishment. pathological lying, manipulation, install fear & phobias into a victims mind, etc etc. This is why it is so important to educate yourself & your family so they all will support her when she does decide to leave.
I would recommend that if you cant see her then write her a letter each week & fill her in with all that your family is doing but keep it all positive and dont say we want you here with us. Just keep here in the loop and let her know she is loved. But dont go over board you dont want to scare here away. The sociopath may not let here read the letters or may belittle all of you so dont expect miracles from them but instead it is a open line to here to know she is cared for & loved.
I’m sorry that your family is enduring this nightmare. Stay strong!
Hugs to you. Take care!
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ps just wanted to add that you might want to purchase Donna Anderson’s book Lovefraud 10 signs you are dating a sociopath. Also look at her videos up at the top of this site. If you go to the first page & read the yellow box area you can learn how to help her heal once she escapes. When she does escape her abuser be patient with her mood swings she will cry, get angry, sob etc. It the process when opening your mind up from all the brain washing the sociopath does.
Your a wonderful mother for searching for help & answers!!
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I got cellulitis from being in an abusive relationship so I left the relationship, treated it and am o.k. From what you have said, your daughter will not leave the relationship so unfortunately it will probably continue.
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