How to recognize and recover from the sociopaths – narcissists in your life › Forums › Sociopaths, narcissists, psychopaths as partners › Psychopaths and Prenuptial Agreements
July 28, 2021 at 11:38 am #66165Love DefraudedParticipant
July 28, 2021 at 11:53 am #66168angel12034Participant
I was lucky to have not married my ex although he tried again and again to get me to marry him. There are things that we will never understand about these guys. My ex gave me expensive gifts. I have no idea why when other disordered men take money. He gave me money to pay bills also when we didn’t even live together. I still don’t know why and I probably never will. I have read there are smart sociopaths and stupid ones. Mine was on the stupid end because he got caught in all of his lies and I think your psychopath ex is too because he signed the prenup. They just really don’t think about the future. It’s all about right now and what he needs right now. He was too self involved to care about that paper
July 29, 2021 at 7:13 am #66179sept4Participant
Hi Angel, my ex husband gave me many very expensive gifts too. Diamond jewelry, luxury watches, $500 flower bouquets, designer handbags etc.
At the time of course I thought these were genuine expressions of love for me.
Later once I saw his true character I realized he actually did not love me at all. And then I understood the true intent behind the lavish gifts:
1) love bombing me to control me and take ownership of me and manipulate me into thinking he loved me
2) status symbols to show off to other people (putting jewelry on his women to show off was like putting rims on his car)
3) a decoy to distract and bribe me into looking past his red flags and warning signs
July 29, 2021 at 7:26 am #66180angel12034Participant
Thank you for the insight! Yes I see that now. Also a big part of it was to get me to do more and more freaky stuff in the bedroom. It was never enough and it would never have been enough. He’ll never be satisfied and he’ll always be a miserable person because of it. The last time we got back together he was mad I still had the diamond earrings in. He asked why. I said “because I deserve the s**t out of these earrings for all that you put me through”. They aren’t a reminder of him. They are a reminder of what I’ve overcome and a reminder of the queen that I am.
July 29, 2021 at 7:30 am #66181sept4Participant
Hi Love we did not have a prenup but we did have a business partnership with equal rights and equal shares by law and on paper.
However the paperwork was effectively useless because they simply do not care about contracts at all or about the law at all. It is just a piece of paper to them. They do not abide by any contract and do not care about your rights at all. Regardless of what is typed up on the paperwork.
So the only way in which a contract is useful would be if you were willing to follow through to go to court and spend the money and time and energy to try to enforce it.
Meanwhile the sociopath will likely go to illegal means to avoid this and will just squander the money or hide money or divert money or destroy assets etc. It is difficult and expensive to try to enforce a contract against someone who has no regard for the law and no regard for morals and no regard for the legal rights of others.
Depending on the sociopath it can also be dangerous to take them to court and try to enforce contracts against them because if you push them far enough like possible jail time or seizing their assets etc they might explode with rage and retaliate against you.
So bottom line is that the sociopath does not care about contracts and won’t abide by them. The court system does care about contracts but it will be expensive and difficult and time consuming and possibly dangerous to litigate. And even if you win you might still end up with nothing if the sociopath squanders the money or diverts it.
It’s like Warren Buffett has said: “You can’t make a good deal with a bad person.”
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