Silent Treatment is so hurtful

[BlueSkysParticipant]

Silent Treatment and disappearing seem to be part of the norm for the disordered. But the timing seems to be what makes these things very effective. The times i got them are what made them really bad. Sometimes it could seem like i got this treatment when things were ok and just out of the blue he’d vanish. But when there was an issue such as his lack of keeping a promise that i bring up to him, i really got this behavior from him. Time spent was always an issue that he said he’d improve but never made the effort to. His version of improvement is trying to pop up (unannounced until he is only 5 minutes away) when I’m not feeling well or dropping by for an hour once a month instead every 2-3 months! Sick huh!?? Of course this bothered me and i felt i was not worth his time. So the very last time he came over he left after about 2 hours. All he said was i’m about to go. I said why i want you to stay longer, i gotta go is all i got back. I got angry and didn’t want to hug or kiss him when he left so I didn’t. He tried to kiss Me and i turned my head( possibly an ego bruise for him) I just opened the doors as wide as i could for him so he could leave. He looked at me like he could not believe i was acting that way! Afterwards i text him saying I didn’t understand why he always had to leave when i told him I didn’t want him to leave. He didn’t respond and ignored me for days not returning my calls or texts. My gut tells me he was leaving to screw someone else because he told told me he didn’t feel good which is his M.O. for turning down sex (took me a while to learn this). But his actions of ignoring after he left seemed like a pouty 5 year old saying hmmph she can’t be mad because i’m gonna be mad at her. This is a 48 year old man!!!! Another time before this I said to him after he asked why I didn’t call or text as much that I didn’t because he rarely responds and always claims he is soooo busy so i just wasn’t going to say much anymore in turn since i said this I didn’t hear from him for about 5 days and if he text good morning when i respond to it (right back not even a matter of minutes) by saying good morning how are you i get nothing and he would dissappear for the rest of the day or for days. Its like if you complain what you complain about you will get more of. That was my experience any way. Ignoring someone tears them up big time especially when its after something THEY have done to make you feel like you are crazy or (bipolar a word he loved to use) for being upset with them and it has lasting effects that i still deal with. Im sure in his mind he was discarding/ignoring/devaluing a nagging bitch. Funny because he said he loved me and cared about me a lot! I would get i love you texts right before disappearances. A crock of bull. Love won’t ignore or disappear, not return calls, etc. he made me feel like i wasn’t worth it. My therapist said “normal” people give silent treatment too but this isn’t normal!!! Help please tell me this isn’t normal behavior it feels abusive.

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