This topic contains 4 replies, has 4 voices, and was last updated by Donna Andersen 1 week, 4 days ago.
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Hi Cantkeepmedown, one of the biggest signs that you are in a emotional, mental & verbal abusive relationship is the fact you are CONFUSED!!!
This is what every victim of abuse feels = Confused!
The bulk of domestic abuse IS emotional, mental, verbal, financial abuse…typically physical abuse does not occur until the victim is about to leave her abuser or has just left.
Do you realize you are in a abusive relationship?
You state:
I get the silent treatment
goes to sleep instead of talking it out
breaking things
pouting
turns agreement around to where he’s the victim
he yells
THIS IS ALL MANIPULATION!! And abuse!!
You state:
“I’ve changed myself over and over to get him interested in me again and nothing.. ”
This is what EVERY abuse victim does…but, you end up LOSING yourself…and the abuser is using this to control you…so that you jump thru continuous hoops trying to please him all along he is manipulating you & breaking your spirit down to control you & have power over you!
Do a search on the term Lovebomb here on Lovefraud.
In the beginning a abuser will pretend to be “nice” but, this is NOT who they are…they will be their if you “need them”, “tell you kind thoughtful words”, will buy you gifts, take you on special dates….but..
once they have you hooked into their con game…the drop their mask and show you who they are…IF YOU ARE WILLING TO SEE THEIR TRUE SELF…
He is showing you who he really is…
and you are seeing his true behavior now…you are researching for answers & asking question! BRAVO!! This is a huge step hon!!
KEEP READING EVERYTHING HERE AT LOVEFRAUD…LOOK UP AT THE TOP UNDER BOOK STORE & LOVEFRAUD EDUCATION. ALL your answers are here.
This site & support forum is a savings grace for all that have been in abusive relationships. SO keep posting…but make sure you CLEAR YOUR COMPUTER HISTORY for your safety!
Also please know that the most dangerous time for a abuse victim is when she is about to leave or has just left her abuser. SO contact your local and national domestic abuse center for free helP with a DOMESTIC ABUSE SAFETY & EXIT PLAN.
ON their website look up what is emotional & mental abuse.
WE HEAR YOU & ARE HEAR FOR YOU…KEEP VENTING IT REALLY DOES HELP TO CLEAR THE MIND & SEE THE TRUTH.
Reach out to your most trusted family & friends and tell them what is going on in this relationship. Write down what he has done in a safe journal & hide or keep it at a friends/family home. Writing down what he has done to you will help you open your mind from his mind control & brain washing.
Wishing you all the best!!! Take care. 💜💜💜
ps just to let you know I too felt dazed & confused when I crawled out of my hellish relationship with my ex. It was not easily to leave. Look up “addiction” here on lovefraud because that is what these abuser manipulate us & we become addicted to the chaos & drama…the good news is imposing the NO CONTACT RULE (google & look up here on LF) you will quickly break this addiction.
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USA Domestic violence hotline 800-799-SAFE…see their website
outside the USA just google “Domestic violence hotline with your country’s name
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Hi cantkeepmedown,
The advise and information that Jan7 gave to you was spot on ! I just want to ad that at this point, you don’t need to know what his exact character problem diagnosis is – you will have plenty of time to research that once you are away from him. The point is that he is treating you abusively and his behavior is totally unacceptable. You do not deserve to have this in your life. I know that you know this too. The hard part is the addictive nature of abuse and when there is abuse, the longer we allow ourselves to be in the abusive situation, the more beaten down emotionally we get, so it gets only more difficult then to see it for what it is – hatred towards us. So please go No Contact as soon as you possibly are able to do so. Find a safe place where you can be away from him totally, and then you will be able to start processing your emotions and you will have the space to get educated about what was really occurring in all its totality and you will then begin to see the truth and you will be amazed to find your joy returning!
Blessings -
cantkeepmedown – I agree with what Jan7 and Polestar have said – what you are describing is classic sociopathic behavior. We have lots of info here that can help you.
Unfortunately, these people are everywhere. We need to learn to spot them and keep them out of our lives. You can do it!
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