January 15, 2020 at 4:22 am #55742
as I can saw, so many of us dealing with disordered partners.
I had identify him as he never take blame, responsibility for some action, along with that try in the young days to make suicide. Firs thought was, parents are somehow responsible for such dramatic action.
But for last two days, in a conversation with him – related to my cancer and finance, he stated he will kill himself.
I did not act “oh my god, don’t do so” or something like that, just ignored.
So my question is – how to act when it comes again with such reaction to a problem?
How should I react?
January 15, 2020 at 5:47 am #55745Donna AndersenKeymaster
goodwoman – I am very sorry for your situation. As you have discovered, sociopaths often threaten to kill themselves. It’s interesting that he said this as you were talking about your cancer and finances. He had to be a bigger victim than you!
If he threatens suicide again, I suggest you call emergency services. 911 in the US.
When sociopaths threaten suicide, it is one of two things. Either they are serious, or they are bluffing. Either way, the best thing you can do is call the professionals.
If he is serious, he will get the care that he needs.
If he is bluffing, he will stop the threats, knowing that you will call emergency services.
January 15, 2020 at 6:21 am #55746
thank you for your concern and reply.
You helped me with your videos so much.
In my situation, I do not care anymore what he will actually do. I have to take care of myself, as selfish it sound but this is a need for me.
With all actions from him,I do believe that somehow he progress my illness.
But, I do not feel responsible for such action as it came from his selfishness, and playing on a victim card.
Just tell me some hint how should i react if it happens again? (as I think, it is bluff)
January 15, 2020 at 9:37 am #55747emilie18Participant
goodwomen: I am so very sorry you are having to go through cancer treatments and you are absolutely correct that right now concentrating only on YOU is critical. The drama/trauma of a disordered individual will only bring you down and slow your healing. Donna is correct – he is trying to focus all the attention back on HIM – for in his mind he is the only important person in this relationship. My ex used suicide talk whenever he was trying to deflect me from suspicion or when he thought I was not giving him enough sympathy. The first time I reacted predictably – trying to talk him down, assuring him our love was stronger than his problems, etc. The second time I realized what he was doing (I had just confronted him about another woman) and I just told him he needed to get some professional counseling. The third time I told him to do what he had to do, but to leave my house to do it.
So how should YOU react? I think Donna, again, is correct – call the authorities. Let them handle him. You have more important things to concentrate on. Best wishes.
January 15, 2020 at 11:18 am #55748Jan7Participant
Dear Goodwoman, I am so sorry that you have cancer. My heart aches for you💔. And that you are also dealing with financial issues AND a sociopath!!
First things first…FOCUS ON YOUR HEALTH!! THAT IS IMPERATIVE AT THIS TIME. 💜
Stress as they say “kills”. So right, now you have a tremendous amount of stress in your life. Sociopath create STRESS in their target victims to stop them from thinking on their own! Their Stress wears us out and then can take control of us easily & we become more depended on them. So know that the BULK of your stress prior to being diagnosed with cancer WAS CASED BY THIS SOCIOPATH!!
Also, know that stress weakens the immune system. And once your immune system is weaken past virus like chicken pox aka shingles, cancer and other virus/bacteria can take over the body.
What do you need to do now?
FOLLOW THE NO CONTACT RULE WITH THIS SOCIOPATH!! ASAP!! GET HIM OUT OF YOUR LIFE ASAP.
What is the No contact rule? you block him from every way he can contact you. Block him on your phone, text, emails, social media…EVERYTHING. Do a search up at the top of love fraud on the no contact rule.
PRIOR TO DOING THIS PLEASE CONTACT YOUR LOCAL ABUSE CENTER ASAP TO ASK THEM FOR HELP WITH A DOMESTIC VIOLENCE EXIT & SAFELY PLAN. You can look at your countries National domestic violence website for more info and phone number.
In the USA the website is NATIONAL DOMESTIC VIOLENCE HOTLINE their phone number is 800-799-SAFE.
Please call them & speak with a free counselor & ask them for local abuse center numbers call them to set up free counseling & free women group meetings to help open your mind fully & also for help with this Exit & safety plan. You can also research this Exit & safety plan on the net and also you tube.
HE IS TRYING TO USE PITY ME MANIPULATION TO CONTROL YOU. To stop you from focusing on your life and re-shift your focus on to him. My ex h did the same. But, you must take his threats seriously for your OWN safety. Now a days these types kill others to if that is their real intention.
Also, talk to your own doctors about what is going on in your life with this sociopath and now much stress he is creating. When you break it off with a sociopath or any relationship…a high level of cortisol & adrenaline is released continuously this is very stressful on the body (adrenal fatigue) so this is why it’s a good idea to talk to a Endocrinologist doctor (they deal with the adrenal glands). Look up Adrenal fatigue (see sites like Drlam. com & adrenal fatigue. org symptoms list. clean up your diet
For your cancer look up “Charlotte Gerson” and her father “Dr Max Gerson” on the net & you tube her books too (you might be able to find them at your local library). Look up Jason Vale juicing you tube and also Dr Fuhrman Eat to live book & his you tube channel. Before you change your diet ask your doctor. For your health & your life…please get this guy out of your life for good.
Sending you huge huge hugs hon.💜💜💜 Keep posting her, venting, asking question and reading all the articles Donna post. She also on Tuesdays has a LIVE You tube channel that you can ask questions & listen to your talk.
Wishing you all the best! Take care. 🌷
ps the list of traits you stated about this guy…my ex did the same things! my ex is a sociopath. this guy too.
also, you should be so proud of yourself for researching & posting here at love fraud. Huge steps for you to break free from him.
January 16, 2020 at 2:11 am #55753
you are so kind in you replies and thank you for support! 🙂 🙂
Yes, you are right about him – attention has to be on him.
This encourage me to do what has to be done – get away far from him, because if I stay, my health condition will eventually just be worse.
Now, putting all puzzles together, time to go on on my own.
Thank you again, for support, encouragement! This helps me a lot!
January 16, 2020 at 12:59 pm #55755shellybelleParticipant
Howdy! I’m new here. So sorry to hear that he has threatened this! My partner has threatened this. That is until I pointed out that it’s something that manipulative people do, and I would need to call 911! Thank goodness that seemed to end it. My mother did this when I was a teenager. My first husband used it as a manipulation tactic too. It diverts the attention back to them, as you’re not allowed to have your own pain or negative feelings. An old friend described it as “EXHAUSTING”, she was right. All good energy your way! You’ve got this!
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