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Types of psychopaths

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This topic contains 17 replies, has 6 voices, and was last updated by  Sunnygal 1 week ago.

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  • #39481

    Sunnygal
    Participant

    in her book’Women who love psychopaths’ Sandra Brown says there are 5 types of psychopaths: paranoid, schizoid, aggressive-explosive anger, destructive, swindler, sexual-distortion of impulse, often well educated, good job. In the distant past I was involved with a sexual psychopath- well educated, good job. In the recent past I was involved with an aggressive psychopath-explosive anger, destructive. if you have been involved with a psychopath, which type was he?

  • #40112

    Me
    Participant

    I believe you can’t just put a psychopath or sociopath in a box like that, just as much as you can’t put a neurotypical person into a similar box.

  • #40119

    Sunnygal
    Participant

    Sandra’s explanations have been helpful to me.

  • #40120

    Me
    Participant

    And those are the only types of ASPD? There’s no ‘regular’ type, or ‘high-functioning’ type? It is just so simple as “you’re a sociopath? What type are you?”

    Let me put this to you:
    Give me five, and only five, types of humans. All five of them together will have to encompass all humans, but individually must be different. Go ahead and just try to split humanity into five distinct groups.

  • #40122

    Madelaine
    Participant

    I can think of two sociopaths I have come across. I work in a field where there is a high proportion of sociopaths so it is no surprise that I encountered both at work. Both sociopaths were female. They were extreme narcissists and accomplished pathological liars and both were superficially very charming and articulate. Both made my life Hell.

    Both exhibited narcissistic rage that was truly scary in how destructive it was. They both broke laws in order to exact revenge, and neither seemed to care about possible repercussions of doing this. In both cases the underlying theme of their rage seemed to be, “you saw through my mask so I will destroy you.” Both cases used triangulation to get other people to side with them (and break the law). During the midst of the ‘destruction’ phase in both cases, I felt that these sociopaths were getting what I would describe as a sexual thrill, even though neither is gay and there was nothing sexual in the content of their reprisals.

    These sociopaths were unbelievable devious and spiteful, and any other characteristics or motivations they had were irrelevant to me. My experiences with both of them included paranoid, schizoid, aggressive-explosive anger, destructive, swindler and sexual-distortion characteristics.

    I am always wary that sociopaths might be lurking to read postings to get a vicarious thrill from reading about people’s suffering. I don’t like to feed that beast. Therefore, I will gleefully share the happy ending that Sociopath 1 went too far and ended up losing her job. She triangulated too many senior people, who ended up looking like fools, so they had to get rid of her. She lost the thing she loved more than anything else in the world, her corner office. No kidding, all this woman lusted after was her corner office. She ended up getting the organization to give her an office in two different buildings so she could have two corner offices! She lost them both (and a very high paying, prestigious job) because she could not contain her own behavior to a reasonable level.

    I suspect the same thing will happen with Sociopath 2. Sooner or later she will go too far. Both these women remind me of the Terminator in the first movie: they are broken and crushed and destroying themselves but even then they can’t bring themselves to stop. Their ‘type’ is, “relentless to the point of self-destruction”.

  • #40142

    ppath
    Participant

    “Me” is right. It makes no sense to divide people so simplistically.

  • #40151

    Sunnygal
    Participant

    Madelaine I had a nurse friend whose supervisor was abusive and bothering the nurses so they complained to her boss and it was taken care of. There are abusers in work situations.

  • #40171

    Madelaine
    Participant

    Sunnygal, I WISH that had been my experience. I think part of the problem was that Sociopath 1 was my line manager and I stumbled across some very fraudulent (illegal) things she was doing. Line manager vs employee is no match. Also, this was/is a VERY dysfunctional workplace where you pretty much have to be a sociopath to survive. The reason why my line manager was “made redundant” (aka fired) was not because she committed fraud, but because the media started poking around and the organization needed to distance themselves from her in case the story got out.

    The only good that come out of this was that I got to see a sociopath at work and I read up about it to try to understand what was happening to me. It meant that this time it [only] took me 3 months to figure out that Sociopath 2 was a sociopath. It had taken me 2 years to figure out that Sociopath 1 was telling everyone I was an incompetent mental case behind my back.

    This time with S2 I’m glad I got out when I did, although I still got the full Sociopath treatment on my way out. The boss on this project was really volatile and he has several guns. One day Sociopath 2 is going to push him too far. I must admit that I turn on the news every night half expecting to hear of a murder-suicide or a Waco siege type thing with those two.

  • #40653

    Sunnygal
    Participant

    Madelaine Thanks for your post. I am in a situation where I am a paratransit passenger in a service at the senior center and the manager is a psychopath who triangulates with his female boss. I need transportation to a doctor appointment so I need their service. The center is run by a board. The VP is a Chinese cardiologist. I need transportation to a Chinese ophthalmologist. I may write the VP.

  • #40657

    AnnettePK
    Participant

    Like all categories of persons, places, and phenomena, it’s a continuum and no one person/phenomenon fits neatly into a niche. Consider ‘type A’ and ‘type B’ personalities, species of animals and plants, and even how colors are categorized – is ‘pink’ a separate color, or is it just light red like light blue which does not have a special name. Broad categories can help one think about patterns of spath traits, which can help in understanding. I found Sandra Brown’s classification interesting reading and helpful in making sense of some of the behavior patterns of my ex psychopath.

  • #40676

    Sunnygal
    Participant

    Madelaine I think this manager is also getting a sexual thrill. His dominance is sexualized. I’m glad you talked about this.

  • #40678

    Stargazer
    Participant

    When my relationship with the sociopath ended, I did not know at the time that he was a sociopath. I was telling my friend about the games he was playing, and she told me to google “seductive sociopath.” That description fit him to a tee. I think that description fits most of the sociopaths LF people have been romantically involved with. I don’t know about the other categories – I have not experienced enough sociopaths to look for the differences.

  • #40735

    Sunnygal
    Participant

    Madeleine Thanks again for your comment about the manager getting a sexual thrill. That was helpful to me.

  • #40830

    Sunnygal
    Participant

    Madeleine A friend said the sexual thrill these psychopaths were getting is sexual harassment. I think so.

  • #40831

    Madelaine
    Participant

    Sunnygal and anyone who reads this comment…. it might be triggering to some people. If talking about sexual predators will trigger you, please don’t read this post.

    I think the sexual thrill we are picking up is related to a deep predatory instinct. Without getting too graphic, I think setting up victims for the “kill” is like sexual “foreplay” (with the goal of seducing or coercing an unwilling person into being a sexual object to meet the predator’s sexual needs).

    In both scenarios there is planning. In an unwanted sexual encounter, this could be the candlelight dinner where the victim is seduced, it could be making the victim feel guilty so she “consents”, it could be simply nagging so it is easier to say “ok” than to keep saying “no”. All of these strategies are designed to get the sexual predator what he/she wants. There is anticipation and excitement in this planning… like being a kid on Christmas eve, knowing that tomorrow there will be wonderful presents to open.

    IMO, with sociopaths like your manager guy, there is a similar anticipation of knowing that the victim will be in his power. You will show up on a particular day and NEED his help. This gives him a lot of power. The anticipation he feels in toying with you is the same type of anticipation of the kid on Christmas eve or the sexual predator. Eventually there will be a payoff. The anticipation is half of the the thrill.

    In a sexual encounter there is what I will call the “mechanics” of the act, followed by an explosive release. For the sociopath the mechanics are being in the right place at the right time, having enablers all properly gas-lit, and ensuring that he is the only one around at the time when the target (you) need someone to help you. This planning takes skill, and being able to organize the mechanics of the set-up like a chess master is a source of great pride for the sociopath. He/she is SO good, so smart, so cunning, so superior.

    Then, in sex, there is the orgasm of release. For the sociopath, this is the raw power he/she feels when they see the target realize that they in a humiliating position of being used, and are powerless to prevent it or to stop it.

    In both sociopathic victimization and sexual harassment, the following elements occur:
    -Planning by the aggressor
    -Anticipation of the event
    -Unwilling participant
    -Often public, so there is an audience to increase the humiliation of the target
    -The public nature of the victimization places pressure on the target to act “normally” and not make a scene.
    -The audience seems largely unaware of anything going on because the incident is ambiguous from their point of view.
    -Both sociopathic victimization and sexual misconduct objectify the target so that the target is simply an object by which the victimizer gets their thrills.

    So this FEELS sexual to the victim because the same feelings are elicited as when we are being used for someone’s sexual thrills. We feel powerless, dirty, used and humiliated. My line manager used to breathe heavily, her neck would get blotchy and her pupils would dilate when I was forced to meet with her in her office for my annual appraisal, or to be demoted or whatever humiliation she had planned for me. Physiologically she looked like she was sexually aroused. That really creeped me out.

    I handled the situation like I handled creepy guys when I was younger. I would make sure I don’t get into an elevator alone with the gropy guy at work. With my line manager I made sure that when I was in her office I was closest to the door to escape if I had to, and I just went Gray Rock.

    Perhaps you could consider having a quiet word with the boss that “Manager” makes you uncomfortable and please find an alternative. Feeling creeped out by a person is reason enough to request a change of staff or ‘support’ employee around. You don’t need to justify yourself any more than “that guy’s manner makes me very uncomfortable”.

    Your creeped out feelings are all the reason needed to request (demand) that another staff member deal with you. This is something that most women would understand without you having to go into details. If you can put it in letter, this is even better. Even if they think YOU are the nut job, they won’t risk leaving you into a situation which you have identified as making you feel unsafe.

    Sociopaths are emotional perverts.

  • #40832

    Sunnygal
    Participant

    Madeleine Thanks for your response. The situation with this sexually harassing manager is he is supported by his female boss who is the Chief Administrative Officer for the center and the head of Human Resources. I tried complaining to her and got nowhere. I am being harassed by the female HR person who is supposed to prevent sexual harassment. I read in a neighboring town the female HR person has 2 sexual harassment cases against her. I had a trip scheduled and called to cancel. I will not use this service as long as this guy is manager. The center has a board of directors. The president is an MBA. I will write him that the service was great when the previous manager was there but is very inappropriate with the new mgr. and I will not use it as long as he is the mgr. I will also mention I have several relatives who are businessmen. He may or may not respond. I’m O.K. either way.
    Thanks again for your response and your previous posts.

  • #40834

    Madelaine
    Participant

    Sunnygal, this sounds like a toxic workplace. It’s like all the sociopathic types have supported each other in their bullying and gaslighting of other employees. Then all the “good” employees leave and go to less toxic workplaces.

    So this ends up where managers, HR and the senior executives all engage in a “dance” of toxicity. I experienced this at my last job (an elite university). My line manager was a pathological liar. She was supported by pathological liars. So when she told HR to demote me, they did. Even though this was illegal they did it. This was because they could. They knew they would be supported by the head of the university (they were). So everybody in this toxic dance felt safe to do whatever forgeries and falsifications were necessary to support one of their own kind (my sociopathic line manager).

    What I found disturbing was that the sociopathic dance was so well practised that the different dancers didn’t need to strategize or plan what they would do. My line manager would make up an outrageous lie. She didn’t have to check with HR if this lie would be able to be supported or what documents would have to be falsified. She KNEW that HR would do whatever it took to support the lie. Similarly, HR KNEW that the Vice Chancellor and CEO would support them, no matter what they did. The whole process of the toxic dance was automatic and seamless throughout the whole system.

    This toxic workplace evolved over decades. Toxic people stayed and flourished and good people left. Now it is simply a toxic workplace of sociopaths and their victims who are too terrified to say boo or who are being “arranged” out of their jobs as I write this. A huge amount of money is spent by this university on marketing, public relations and the ‘brand’ so the reputation of this university is excellent to the outside world.

    These toxic workplaces are so rotten (and good at gaslighting regulators and the public) that they cannot be fixed. It is a self perpetuating sociopathic machine. In these systems, and your transit center sounds like one, IMO there is nothing for you to do but go somewhere else (No Contact) if possible.

    It is highly likely that the Board of people has been gas-lit. They would only get reports that make the place look excellent. Complaints such as yours would be dismissed as by a nutcase. So even if there are a couple of good people on the board who would try to fix the system, they are gas-lit so that they will not believe how bad this workplace is. It is too unbelievable that the sexual harasser would be the sexual harassment officer (though I believe it because I’ve seen it and lived it. Other LoveFraud readers would believe it too).

    If some poor fool does believe you and tries to fix it, he/she will be targeted and forced to leave. I was the fool in my toxic university who found fraud and tried to fix it for the honest students who worked hard, sat exams and paid their fees to get their qualifications. I was shocked when my union rep, the Dean of the Faculty, the Vice chancellor and HR all signed off on the pathological lies of my line manager (who was doing the fraud).

    At that time I simply could not believe that there was no one in this whole system who was able to do their job (like HR ensuring employment laws were followed, instead of breaking the law to do my line manager’s bidding). However, the whole system was simply a massive sociopath. Once the mask was uncovered, like any sociopath, all the toxic people in this toxic system reacted swiftly and violently with smear campaigns.

    I agree with you that you will probably not find any support or response to any letter you write to the Board. However, I do believe in paper trails. At some point, the weight of the all the letters of complaints from dozens of victims might get out when the sexual harasser goes too far and there is a public scandal (like that guy who was pulled from the United Airlines flight and the video was put on Facebook). If people write letters, the toxic, lying organization can’t use the excuse of “we didn’t know there was a problem”.

    So I encourage you to write a letter that might help contextualize and give credibility to the next victim’s letter and if possible go No Contact with this toxic organization.

    Also, I am outraged that you have had to go through this. It is wrong on so many levels. YOU HAVE A RIGHT to live your life without being harassed or treated disrespectfully.

  • #40838

    Sunnygal
    Participant

    Madelaine Yes, No contact is the way to go with this psychopath. MOVE ON!!

    On a happier note, I worked for a child psychiatrist who was an expert witness in incest cases. It was good to see children protected from a sexually abuse parent.

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