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What do you do when your mind has lingering thoughts! Help

This topic contains 1 reply, has 2 voices, and was last updated by  PhoenixRising2015 3 months, 3 weeks ago.

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  • #39505

    Caitlyn
    Participant

    My therapist has said sociopath countless times so maybe he’s just that good at deceiving. Conning someone into a relationship claiming to be single while they are really involved is really not a genuine person. But all the claims of love and all the attempts to get me back (even driving out of his way to pop up at my house) all seemed genuine. But one thing is for sure during these attempts he didn’t make an effort to leave the relationship he was in even though he wanted me to believe he was. I remember the second time i let him back in my life he said he was unhappy with her and didn’t want to be with her so based on that i let him back in my life but then after that i felt like he wanted me to accept the marriage and accept being an other woman because that was how it was going to be for the time being. These were his words even though he lied to get me in his life initially and to get me back! He even wanted me to promise i’d be with him and not cheat on him! The married man didn’t want me to cheat on him. I couldn’t deal with that and haven’t been in contact with him. I thought i’d feel better but I don’t and its been months. I guess i could really use some uplifting. Every time i say ok he is disordered another thought comes into my mind to make me think he isn’t. Everyone says a normal man wouldn’t do this but I don’t think normal exists anymore.

  • #40056

    PhoenixRising2015
    Participant

    If he was disordered or not, it seems you’re better off without him. You’ll never know for sure why he did what he did. And that not knowing is hard, I know. But let it go for your own sake. Don’t focus on why he did what he did – you’ll never get a true answer from him and it’s impossible to guess at what’s going on in his head because it defies normal logic/thinking. You’ll just keep yourself stuck trying to figure it out. Keeping no contact is great, I applaud you for going forward with that and sticking to it! It’ll take time, but it will get better. Letting go of what you thought your life would be is hard. Focus on yourself and healing yourself. You’ll have lingering thoughts, it’s ok. He was a part of your life and you can’t just erase that or forget it nor should you. Everything in life can teach us a lesson. Try and find the lesson in this. What helped me move forward was (after I’d done a lot of researching and trying to figure out the why, etc) to focus on what I could do to heal myself instead. I couldn’t do anything about the past, but I could do something about my future. Best of luck!

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