What would you do

[confusedafParticipant]

Okay I found this site through Google. Not sure why I’m posting, other than maybe I need advice,maybe I need understanding, but mainly I need someone to know what I’m going through. I’ve been with my husband for 9 years, ever since I was a young teen. We’re married, ttwo young children. We’ve had our dog for almost 2 years. Past few months I got my dream dog,the dog I’ve wanted since I was a child, a 7 week old German Shepherd wolf hybrid. We were Rocky relationship but okay. Had her about a month and a half and then one day while we were both cleaning and kids playing, our youngest daughter was crying(fussy) but he says it looked like the puppy knocked over our toddler,says he went over there to just pop the puppy on the butt. That’s not how it went though. He supposedly blacked out while walking towards her. He grabbed our puppy by the back of her neck and back and carried her a few feet into our living room and tlifted her up and threw her at the ground. In front of our 6 year old and 2 year old and me. I flipped out yelling, the puppy crying, kids crying. I yelled what the hell was he doing and that he killed my dog. Puppy still crying he picked her up checking on her and I was disgusted I left to get cigarettes from the corner store. Got back he’s still holding her he came outside. A mixture from him went from she deserved it for hurting our child, to he blacked out and remorseful. A day goes by hoping the puppy is just sore. I carried her outside to try to walk and she couldn’t he came home from work with dog asprin and a new dog bed(cause that’ll make it better right) next morning I say fuck our bad money situation I’m bringing her to the vet. I lied(if he gets arrested, myself and children will be homeless he’s the only one working and we have nowhere to go) and said she was hit by a car, knowing the monster who did it. They x-ray her, both legs broken badly, she’d be in pain the rest of her life so I had her put down. That night he tried to have sex,wouldn’t. Two days pass,had sex, couple days pass and I’m being accused of cheating because I didn’t want any sex. I told him he had to go to anger management and a psychiatrist. He said he would,but because he works so much can’t call and our insurance is picky I haven’t been able to find one accepting new patients. I’m torn. I love him,he’s the father of my children, but I’m a huge animal lover and he killed my dream dog. Now it’s been a few months, everything seems back to normal except my thoughts. He says he cries in the shower but I feel like if he’s upset at all it’s only because I’m upset.

[Donna AndersenKeymaster]

confusedaf – I am very sorry about your dog. I would take this incident very seriously – it shows the violence that your husband is capable of. The excuse that the dog deserved it is ridiculous. The story that he blacked out may have some truth to it — that he blacked out with rage. If so, that is really frightening, because if it happened once, it could happen again – and the victim could be you or one of your kids.

But then he starts accusing you of cheating because you don’t want to have sex after he killed your dog. All in all, I think you need to be concerned that you are married to a psychopath. If so, there is no therapy. The only solution is for you and the children to escape.

[junebugParticipant]

Wow. I’m really sorry about your dog, first of all. My father beheaded my pet chickens because I got them with only my mother’s permission and not his…after waiting over a year and letting me get attached to them. Though what happened to me was kind of my fault. But anyway, I can relate and that must have been horrible for you and your children to watch.

What would I do? Um, well I never spoke of it and tried not to think about it. Especially since when I started crying about it I was made to apologize for embarrassing my father in front of his friends. See no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil.

But that’s not good advice, even if it IS what I would do. 🙂 I’m sorry I have nothing better.

[vivaParticipant]

I was married to someone who threw our kitten across the room because it did something which angered him. It took me a long time to get out from under what I realised even then was just plain wrong. That kind of rage is an indicator of someone it’s best not to be with.

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