How to recognize and recover from the sociopaths in your life › Forums › Lovefraud Community Forum – General › why would you say she is run down?
March 15, 2018 at 6:11 pm #44514
My daughter has said a couple of times recently she is ‘run down’.
We haven’t told her why we think she is run down.
Please will you comment with reasons why a person who has been in an emotionally and psychologically abusive relationship for over 3 years could be feeling ‘run down’.
March 15, 2018 at 11:25 pm #44520
Sociopaths want their target victim “run down’ (exhausted) to have control over them. if you are exhausted then you cant think to leave the relationship. You are to exhausted to pack your bags etc. This is a intentional tactic of a sociopath.
The sociopath will constantly pick fights, or change plans, or create drama & constant chaos to achieve this goal of running down the vicim to have control over them.
The constant drama & chaos is extremely fatigue for a normal person.
Have your daughter look into “Adrenal fatigue” as the root physical body issue of her being “run down”. The other word victims use is burnt out (run down).
I was literally exhausted mentally, emotionally & spiritually when with my ex h, a sociopath. A normal person can not keep up with the sociopaths craziness and the body will eventually send out warning signs (like a car’s warning system) to alert the person to stop & re assess what is going on that is causing so much stress. The fact that your daughter is telling you she is “run down”…her body alarm system is going off to warn her something is not right with her body & that their is something major stressing her out. She may not be able to realize it’s her bf that is causing her body to be run down.
This is a great opportunity for you to step in & help your daughter & have your whole family rally around her to help heal her health issues and this may help her to realize that you & your family are there to support her. And when she is healthy again she may see the truth that he is causing her health issue.
Show her sites like:
Adrenal fatigue. org (show her the symptoms list)
Dr Lam. com (show her the symptoms list).
Most, if not all, victims of a sociopath end up with PTSD. I personally believe that the biggest issue of PTSD that needs to be healed is adrenal fatigue.
On another support site, the site creator posted a post asking if anyone had health issues when with the narcissist. 400 people respond YES!! The bulk of the health issues were exactly the same = all symptoms of adrenal fatigue!!
I personally became bed ridden. I was the type of person to exercise, work, spend time with my friends etc prior to meeting my ex h. but ended up not being able to literally walk to the bed to the bathroom because I was absolutely exhausted. Looking back there were signs from the moment I moved in with my ex that my health was slowly deterring due to the stress he constantly put me under.
On the site Adrenal fatigue. org. Dr Wilson touches on “toxic relationships” being extremely harmful to the body especially the adrenal glands. So look for his write up on “toxic relationships”.
Be very careful NOT to talk to your daughter about her relationship during this time of her health issues. Just be kind to her & help her in any way she needs help. i.e. grocery shopping, laundry etc. Build the trust back between you & your daughter & your family. Remember one of the first things a sociopath does is isolated the vicim from their family. So rebuild the bond & trust with her.
If you start to blame her bf (husband?) for her health issues it will only bond her to him more. you do not want that to happen!! So bit your tongue and just guide her to the adrenal fatigue websites I posted above and have her look at the symptoms list.
AN Endocrinologist doctor deals with the adrenal glands. She should get tested for cortisol levels (see testing info on Adrenal fatigue .org site, vitamin/mineral deficiency, hormonal imbalance etc.
Both of those sites above have very good books also. Your local library may have more on the subject plus the net. Tell your daughter that it’s best to see a specialist vs changing her diet or adding vitamins.
Glad you are asking questions. Also for you & your family look into the book Freedom of mind by Steven Hassan (his site is Freedom of mind resources center).
Your daughter being run down is a great opportunity to help her out of this relationship without her knowing that is what you are doing.
March 16, 2018 at 5:34 am #44523
awesome response, thanks Jan. she is in the prime of her life, 21 years young, so to be describing herself as ‘run down’ is so sad. and wrong. She shouldn’t be run down at 21! Possible Adrenal fatigue at 21, because of a bastard. So awful. And wrong.
I got PTSD from discovering what he was like, 3 years ago. I was so shocked by the deceit, what they were getting up to, how he was treating her, and how he turned her against us in private but to our faces was ‘perfect boy’.
She didn’t want to know.
and here we are, 3 years later.
The most painful years of my life.
In hindsight she will say the same…
March 16, 2018 at 11:05 am #44526
You’re so welcome. Been there too. It’s awful to feel run down (burnt out). Yes, at 21 years of age she should have a lot of energy. Glad she told you what was going on with her health. This is a good step for her to get out, without her even realizing it. Her mind is trying to put two & two together about what is going on.
Have her also google:
“Dr Fuhrman Eat to Live You tube”. He is a very good doctor who follows what he preaches. He is college friends with Dr Oz. And Dr Oz follows his health food plan.
“Dr Amen you tube”. He is a brain specialist and therapist, who has conducted over 80,000 brain scans. He has countless NY Times best seller books (your library may have them) and has many videos on line. He has one on depression google “Dr Amen Depression you tube”.
Before she changes anything have her consult a doctor first.
She has a loving mother, and her body is giving her warning signs which just might leader her out of this relationship. Look at Steven Hassan’s site Freedom of mind and find his video about his experience being sucked into a cult during college & his family helping him out when he broke his leg. Steven Hassan is a cult & domestic abuse expert. Remember this man that has your daughter is a cult leader & your daughter his cult follower. SO you need to be careful not to bond her with him but instead with you & your family.
Wishing you & your daughter all the best.
March 16, 2018 at 11:18 am #44528
There are no Rx drugs that heal Adrenal fatigue. A good clean diet such as Dr Fuhrman’s Eat to live will flood the body with much needed vitamin/mineral deficiency that she is most likely experience due to stress from her relationship, plenty of sleep, which is nearly impossible when in a toxic relationship, plenty of rest & relaxation, vitamin & minerals (with testing vitamin/mineral testing), possible hormone replacement (with testing) (there are natural hormones vs man made hormone replacement look into this if her test are showing she needs replacement).
Check with a doctor Endocrinologist & also maybe a nutrientist (sp??) to give her guidance. This is also a good time to find a counselor who is extremely knowledgable with domestic abuse (not all of them are) and just have this counselors in ready standby incase SHE ASKED to see a counselor.
On the first page of Lovefraud (yellow box) Donna has posted info. Do a search on Mary Ann Glenn here on love fraud. Donna has posted an interview with Mary Ann and she is excellent. Mary Ann Glenn has periodic free counseling internet group sessions and so you might want to contact Mary Ann to see if she can help your daughter ONLY IF YOUR DAUGHTER ASK FOR HELP OR SHE HAS LEFT HER ABUSER. DONT PUSH HER TO SEE A COUNSELOR, again you dont want to bond her to her abuser. This is all just in ready stand by if your daughter’s health gets better & she starts to see her boyfriend is abusing her or if she asks for your help to find a counselor to help her.
March 16, 2018 at 3:27 pm #44538
Google: “Dr Lam, Are Toxic Relationships Making Your Adrenal Fatigue Worse?”.
It’s a very informative article with regards to toxic relationships & the stress effects.
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