UPDATED FOR 2024. Editor’s note: The following email was sent by a Lovefraud reader, whom we’ll call “Pamela.” She was married to a sociopath and subject to domestic violence.
ALL ALONE
All Alone, I am lying on the floor, all “woe is me,” the man who promised to love me lied. I can’t find a friend and my own mother’s phone doesn’t work.
All Alone, I’m crying on this floor.
All Alone, I notice I am still here. I am sad, but still here, and I’ve protected my dog that he threatened. My dog is still here. And my body is healthy, even after it has been thrown and bruised, I can still GET UP.
All Alone, I feel my feet, I wiggle my toes.
All Alone, the tears stop falling, and I look at my feet, and I rise.
AND NOW, I am swelling with gratitude for the all alone I had because I learned that even if it seems like no one cares about me, I STILL care about me, and I will find others that will. I will find help. I will end this and the feelings of failure and worthlessness he tried to transfer to me. Those are NOT mine. But this body, these feet—these are mine. And so I say to them: start walking.
Thank you, Alone, because without You, I would not be able to hear my own voice.
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Lovefraud originally posted this story on Oct. 27, 2011.
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Hasn’t he taken enough?
Hello there, I am new to this place but want you wonderful people to know how much comfort I have taken from reading your stories of survival. I am only four days NC and taking each day slowly ….trying to re build my shattered life after 4 years of my very own spath nearly took everything. Or should I say I nearly let him! A long way to go but wanted to let you know how inspired I am. Thank you x
Strongwoman;
Each day improves….you have good days, n bad……but stick to it….life opens up when you allow it!
NC is the key!
Glad you found LF…..it’s a wonderful place to find support!
XXOO
EB
Dear Strongwoman,
Welcome to LoveFraud! Glad you are NC–hang on to that NO CONTACT like a life raft! Hang on to it for DEAR LIFE!!!!
This is a wonderful place to find information and support! KNOWLEDGE IS POWER!!!! Again, welcome!@....... God bless.
Oh that is so great to get that lovely feedback. Thanks ox drover…hav been reading all bout you an haven’t been able to drag myself away. I thought it was just me on my own….how ashamed am I!!! And Erin thane for your words of kindness and encouragement. Four years of my life …were that gone? Trying so hard to beleeve it’s not a waste. What an idiot I hav been. Onwards yes?
Strongwoman,
Strength and courage! LF is a place with supportive and caring friends who understand. You will keep getting stronger and stronger. Trust yourself and care for yourself!
Er that shud say thane Erin! X
Thanks omg x
Bless you dancing warrior.
Not sure if this is right place to post this comment? My ex is trying real hard to contact me but am resisting an ignoring him. Am a bit worried that he gun a just turn up which he has done before. God ….I hate this. Tempted to tx him an say get ….ed but am trying to follow rules of NC which incidentally are helpin me to feel mor empowered bt!! Help?