Editor’s note: Lovefraud welcomes Liberty Forrest, author of several self-help books and a certified Law of Attraction Life Coach. Read more about Liberty.
By Liberty Forrest, PDHom
I know what it feels like to have your dreams blown to smithereens. It’s especially painful when it’s at the hands of someone you love(d). Someone you thought loved you back.
And I know it can be scary to dream again. You don’t want to risk yet another crushing disappointment.
But it doesn’t make sense to let past hurts prevent future happiness. And when you do that because of a toxic relationship and its fallout, you’re handing that person your happiness on a platter. You’re handing over your power and giving them control of the rest of your life (or until you decide that you can be happy whenever you choose it).
If you plan on enjoying life again, at some point you’ve got to be willing to stop allowing other people to be in charge of your happiness. They’re certainly not concerned about it! Do they really deserve to trash your joy for months and years to come? Do you deserve that? (No, you really don’t!)
The best way to take back control of your happiness and your future is to allow yourself to dream again.
Dreaming doesn’t even cost anything. And it doesn’t require any energy. It requires only a little imagination, a desire – perhaps just the little spark of one – and you can go to the most amazing places in your mind. And those places could become your reality if you follow Law of Attraction principles.Â
Here’s the most fun part of dreaming: If you’re gonna dream, dream Big. Why not? You have nothing to lose. And everything to gain.
Our dreams can motivate us to be better, to achieve more, to have, to be, to do what our hearts desire. They feed the ambitions of our souls. They quench the thirst of our longing. Without them, we would have nothing for which to strive, nothing to give us hope, nothing to which we can cling when the storms of life are tossing us from pillar to post.
It is true that some of our dreams will never come true. But we won’t know which ones they are until we’ve made every effort – until we’ve done absolutely everything in our power to make them a reality. Giving up before then should simply not be an option.
The only way your dreams will die is if you let them.
This article was originally published at LibertyForrest.com. Reprinted with permission from the author.
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“The only way your dreams will die is if you let them.”, you finish.
Sadly, not true especially when dealing with sociopaths. It’s good to be positive and optimistic, but we also need to be real in looking at what happened to us and how that affects us, even years after being with a sociopath.
Even more destructive than what my sociopathic (Dark Triad) ex-H did to me, was what he prevented me from doing for humanity. I had several dreams that through his constant draining me in every way –energy, time and focus, money/funding — he effectively destroyed. He held me up long enough or crippled me at critical points until the time for the opportunity disappeared, someone else did it, or it was just not done, lost to the world. In several rounds of this, highly impactful solutions I had worked on for years were prevented from being completed and put out there to do some good in the world. Then after I finally recovered enough to try again, I tied myself to another (passive-aggressive covert narcissist and/or psychopath). He finished me and my dreams off. For years after I asked him to leave, through stalking, cybercrimes, fraud, and theft, he has set out to try to destroy me, my life, and my future work. I hope it won’t stop me, but it will probably have held me up for 6 years or so.
It’s extremely hard to muster the hope and motivation to work so hard on something you believe in passionately and know you have the ability to do, when you’re fought every step of the way. And when the rewards from those things you have done were taken against your will. When you keep losing all your hard work and future opportunities over and over because someone else consumes everything.
Yes, I’m free now, but disemboweled in various ways through accrued damage. Will I be able to find a way to rise again and actually create these many years long dreams? Or will I simply sink away, psychologically and financially dismembered? Pulled down by the endless quicksand?
I had a very positive attitude, skills and experience, and funding. It wasn’t enough to fight sociopaths’ destruction.
Escapefor1 – I am so sorry for what you have endured, and I can certainly understand how Liberty’s message may seem unrealistic after your experience. Sociopaths definitely take the wind out of our sails, to put it mildly.
Your plans and dreams have certainly been sidetracked, but you never know. Maybe, once you recover, opportunity will arise again. Or maybe you’ll be inspired with a new idea, or a way to do your original ideas better, or faster, or more efficiently.
For now, it is good to focus on your recovery. And maybe, as Liberty wrote in her most recent article, to lie fallow for a bit and rest. You deserve it.