The sociopath ‘ruined me,’ Lovefraud reader writes

Editor’s note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we’ll call “Sassy22.” She says sociopathic ex-partner “ruined me.”

I answered the door and a good-looking guy was standing there asking if Sean was ready? I was confused cuz I lived alone with my son, not named Sean.

This guy, dressed in construction work clothes was very apologetic, and said he must have got the address wrong. That he was carpooling with a new coworker and was sorry to have bothered me.

As he left, he turned around and ask if he could make it up to me by taking me out for a drink later?

I politely denied, and closed the door.

The next few weeks I started seeing this guy all the time. He drove down my street, I saw him at the gas station. (I believed Sean, his coworker and carpool buddy, lived close by me so I didn’t question it). He always smiled and I smiled back.

Agreed to meet

So one day when I accidentally ran into him, he suggested fate kept making us cross paths and I fell for it. Never in a million years thinking this nice-looking gentleman had targeted me and was watching me for weeks and knew my every move.

I agreed to meet him and we hit it off immediately. He made me laugh, was charming and well dressed. He wore a cardigan and glasses and was different than any man I ever meet. The dates that followed, he’d open my door, compliment me and was attentive to me in every way.

It was as if I had found the man I’d been searching for my whole life.

I believed God had finally placed him in my life because of all the struggles I’d overcome leading me to him.

Read more: Seduced by a sociopath

I remember thinking how I’d never actually known what love was. Because loving this guy was so easy and amazing. We got along so well. He was there for me in every way and each day with him got better and better.

I wish so badly that it wasn’t a trick. I wish so badly that I never opened that door to this demon. But unfortunately, I did.

Long-distance relationship

And so when I had to suddenly move back home to my parents’ house 90 miles away from him. I was devasted and vulnerable and so I was hooked into a web of tricks, lies and torture before I even knew what hit me.

He helped me move and I didn’t realize he also helped himself to most of everything I valued. My belongings were going into storage mostly. So I didn’t realize he had cleaned me out till much later when I couldn’t do anything about it.

I remember being confused cuz the day before I left town, we were in love. He promised me we’d make it work. But literally overnight everything changed. He changed and I was still holding on.

I had to prove my love

He blamed the change being on the long-distance relationship, the stress of not seeing me or wondering who I was with when I was far away.

I constantly had to reassure him that I loved only him.

He would start fights every time I left him to go home to my son. So I’d be miserable fighting on the phone till I was able to return back to see him.

When I’d return, I’d spend the day trying to make everything up to him and prove I loved him. I’d buy him expensive gifts and pay for things like a new motor for his old classic car.

I don’t know how I didn’t see the manipulation. But I kept trying to get back to the place we were before I moved.

I spent a year working my ass off and saving whatever I didn’t spend on him. For a house for us both. He had supposedly lost his job and was struggling to find another one (though I don’t believe he ever had one in the 1st place, just like he never had a coworker named Sean that lived near my old house).

The red flags were all there I just refused to see them.

I bought a house

Anyways a year later I got a home for the us and my son and I believed everything would be as it was before. lol That’s when the erratic insane behavior began.

He claimed I wasn’t working that I was going to work to meet my lovers. He’d harass me about it so much I wouldn’t go to work. My job doesn’t fire you so long as you work 1 time every 6 months. You just lose the wages. So he made is so I didn’t go. I couldn’t take my son to school because a guy I was supposedly sleeping with had his kids at that school and I was accused of going and screwing this guy after we dropped off our kids, even if I immediately returned home.

My ex-psycho would fall asleep and hide my car keys, so I’d have to call an Uber to get my son to school.

But 1 day we went to open the door and my ex had drilled screws diagonal into the door from the outside so we were locked in the house. We had to climb out the window to meet the Uber.

At this point things were very bad. Constant fighting. I called the police on him multiple times but he’d run off with my phone and keys and then return later so sorry.

He didn’t know why he was so jealous.

I’d get random prank calls constantly. He’d say that was my lover. He needed my Apple ID, and passwords to everything to reassure him I wasn’t hiding things from him. I gave it all up because he never stopped with his suspicion and I had nothing to hide.

He hid in my truck

One time I was driving to the store. I pulled over to get gas and he popped out of the bed of my truck and yelled I caught you.

He scared me and pissed me off so bad. I left the truck, my purse and everything there in the middle of the street at a light and just walked/ran away from him. Causing a lot of traffic and problems.

I demanded him to leave. But he wouldn’t.

He didn’t leave until things had gotten so bad that he chased me down the street and hit me in the lower leg so had it burst all my veins, lymphatic system and has left me permanently disabled the rest of my life from a disease called lymphedema.

He cleaned me out

That’s when the bastard left. I was in the hospital and he went to my house to get me some overnight stuff and feed my pets. He instead robbed me blind cleared my phone of all contacts and info connected to him. Sent threatening messages for me to him, claiming I was on drugs and I hired someone to kill him.

He then deleted that (I randomly found it thru an iPhone back up), along with hundreds of videos he took of me hidden with my phone that he erased. He changed all my passwords and changed my phone number. He made his number the retrieving number so it took me awhile to get back into my emails and social media accounts. All while I waited in the hospital for him to return. He never did. He erased himself from social media and my life.

I saw him 1 time after that night. It was a year and a half later. He pulled up in front of my house at 2 a.m. I didn’t know it was him. He was hiding behind a tree so my ring camera couldn’t record him. He said to come here to talk to him. I responded sorry buddy I don’t go down to the street to talk to strangers. He replied … you know who this is. When I recognized the voice, my son had already ran and grabbed a machete and a bat (my kid knew who it was immediately).

I ran after the prick with the bat. But he drove off.

Learn more: How understanding empathy and emotional intelligence protects you from abuse and enriches your life

Words were exchanged. He claimed he was trying to apologize but I’m insane. I told him if he ever showed up here again I will shoot him.

Monster ruined me

I know he’s out there lurking in the bushes. Sometimes I feel I’m being watched. Who knows maybe I am insane now. The police did nothing to protect me or get any of my property returned. The doctors did nothing to help me with my life long uncurable condition of lymphedema.

This monster ruined me. I found out later that he was a covert narcissist/psychopath. He is so good at this and prepared. He has probably destroyed many others lives.