I searched the scientific literature for the best description of a female sociopath. None rivaled this one that is more than 4,000 years old:
For the lips of a forbidden woman drip honey,
and her speech is smoother than oil,
but in the end she is bitter as wormwood,
sharp as a two-edged sword.
Her feet go down to death;
her steps follow the path to Sheol;
she does not ponder the path of life;
her ways wander, and she does not know it.
And now, O sons, listen to me,
and do not depart from the words of my mouth.
Keep your way far from her,
and do not go near the door of her house,
lest you give your honor to others
and your years to the merciless,
lest strangers take their fill of your strength,
and your labors go to the house of a foreigner (Proverbs 5:4-10)
Notice that the writer identifies the slick speech of a sociopath as well as the results of being fooled by her. He also identifies the profound lack of insight found in this disorder. Sociopathic women 4,000 years ago were also apparently using their sex appeal to con men out of money and possessions. This is indeed nothing new!
There is something inherently more repulsive and unbelievable about a female sociopath. Women by nature are preprogrammed to learn empathy and care-taking, the antithesis of sociopathic behavior. Indeed, one of the best indicators of sociopathy in a women is seen when the woman fails to care for her own child. It would seem then, that we would all be revolted by a female sociopath, so why do men become victims?
My own theory, which has been corroborated by many men who have written to Lovefraud, is that men accidentally fall victim to sociopathic women when they have sex with them. You see, normal men experience bonding just like normal women-especially when the sex is good. The sex with a female sociopath (I’m told) isn’t just good, it’s better than most mortal men have ever hoped for. Once hooked on the female sociopath, men become victims just as much as the women who become hooked on the male sociopath. Many male victims feel ashamed and emasculated. But, take heart guys, she actually preyed on the more masculine side of your nature, your enjoyment of sex!
Why are successful female sociopaths so sexual and so sexually appealing? Science does have some answers for us here. Testosterone which is elevated in many male sociopaths is also elevated in female sociopaths. Studies of non-disordered women indicate that higher testosterone levels are associated with increased sex drive, increased sexual activity and YES sexual attractiveness to men! High testosterone makes both male and female sociopaths sexually appealing. Testosterone may also be related to the lack of parenting behavior seen in sociopathic women. Women with higher testosterone have been found to be less interested in motherhood.
Men who have married and fathered children with sociopathic women face special challenges. They deserve all our love and support. The courts often do not recognize that a sociopathic woman is incapable of functioning as a mother. Fathers are left to helplessly watch as precious children suffer at the hands of their mother.
The courts would be wise to get smart and take heed because studies of adopted children reveal a terrible truth about female sociopaths. Female sociopaths carry stronger genes for the disorder than do males. A mother is more likely to pass this trait to children she has never met than is a father.
Even with a biologic mother who is a sociopath, children can do well if they receive exceptionally good parenting. If you are a man facing this situation, I invite you to visit Tips for Single Fathers, and to write Lovefraud with your story. We hope to one day be in the position to lobby for the rights of children of both male and female sociopaths.
Louise – okay, gotta say my female spath even conned (online) her real life best friend’s daughter. there are just not enough expletives.
My P/daughter told her best friends she was dying of AIDS and let them go on believing it for almost 6 months. Her reason, they went to the mall without her. Her comment after she was caught, if they were stupid enough to believe it – they deserved it.
one/joy:
UGGGHH…I know…it’s frustrating and maddening!!!! 🙁
MiLo:
Horrible…poisonous snakes…
Milo,
that is typical spath logic. They ALL believe you deserve to be duped because they were able to dupe you.
It would be really funny if someone conned her into believing she actually had AIDS, then it would be all her fault for being stupid enough to believe it.
Louise & Sky – Thanks for understanding. You know of all the unbelievable hideous things she has done, some much worse than this, it is always this one that comes into my mind. I guess it was my first – SOMETHING IS SO WRONG – will someone please explain this to me – moment.
Sometimes, I still can’t wrap my mind around the fact that I raised a monster. Being a part of Lovefraud, I realize and cherish the fact that I had a loving, caring family and was blessed to have married a good, honest man. When I read what most of you have gone through all your lives, I feel guilty complaining about my life with P/daughter.
I give you guys SO MUCH CREDIT. I just don’t get to say that often enough.
yeah, i second sky there. But that’s just it, you see? It is never their fault. It’s even your fault for “believing” the lie- even though THEY’RE the ones who lied in the first place, THEY were the catalyst for the damage, but somehow, it’s still your fault. Does not compute. See the word salad, the mental gymnastics, the sleight of hand there? That’s what you’ve got to be mindful of.
Just in that example, I think it says a lot about why deprogramming from jumping through so many mental loops is so much work. This is the attempt at “fogging” up your mind… distancing you from truth, so you stay “disoriented” and therefore remain vulnerable to more manipulation.
Nancies, Milo and Sky,
I agree, and it is like the old saying about “being up to my ass in alligators, can’t find time to drain the swamp” and I like to add, “and then someone sets my pants on fire.”
Instinctively they know it seems how to keep us fighting off the 1,000 small alligators so that we don’t have time to drain the swamp, or to see the bigger picture of what is going on with them.
In the letters to the Trojan Horse Psychopath that we found is the TH-P’s room after his arrest, my P son, Patrick, told the TH-P HOW to keep me disoriented by many small things, like ordering things on my credit card and having them shipped to my house. To turn my cell phone service off and on, remove the addresses from my phone, steal my mail so bills got paid late or services cut off….etc. keeping me disoriented by many small “crazy” things.
At one point I can remember lying awake in my bed wondering if I had ordered one of those “get rich in real estate with no money down for only $49.00” things off late night TV which showed up in my mail and on my credit card bill—DID I order that? I don’t remember doing it. Am I crazy? When was the last time I paid the light bill? Did the bill come in the mail? Am I crazy?
Then more recently when I realized that he had done other things with my important papers—car titles and so on. That was when I had to get 4 vehicle titles replaced and I didn’t want to tell the ladies in the DMV that “an ex-convict from Texas went through my personal papers and just randomly destroyed some of them four years ago to fark with my sanity…” I can see the “yea, right, lady…” look on their faces, so I made up a more believable LIE to tell them, because the truth was too FAR OUT TO BELIEVE! LOL
By keeping us off balance in subtle and small ways, and never letting us have TIME and LEISURE to think STRAIGHT we make some bad decisions or no decision, which is a decision of a sort. It is like a magician and the “slight of hand” distraction they do.