We know only too well that by far the majority of psychopaths are men. Or at least we think we know that. Could it be that the criteria used to identify psychopaths are biased towards men? After all Hare began his work in male prison.
Think about it. While behaving and being the way the PCL-R without doubt earns one the label psychopath, this is simply a list of symptoms. It says nothing about the underlying dynamics. If psychopathy is life centered on the principle of power (as opposed to love) and if it is therefore characterised by what Liane Leedom nicely calls ‘warped empathy‘, then wouldn’t you expect there to be more or less the same number of woman as men psychopaths? And wouldn’t you expect them to come across differently?
I am beginning to wonder whether there may be two broad types of psychopathy – a ‘male’-type and a ‘female’-type. I place these in quotes because, when I think about it, men with might be thought of as ‘female’ psychopathy come to mind and we all know about women with ‘male’ psychopathy. And yet, at the risk of being un-PC, I want to maintain these descriptors for now so that the difference I think I see doesn’t disappear.
A ‘female’ psychopath would not necessarily commit crimianl/antisocial acts like her male counterpart, but she woud be as power-driven, as toxically narcissistic as a ‘male’ psychopath. The control, the manipulation, the dishonesty, the selfishness, the callousness – all these would be present, but we might not recognise them for what they are because of 1. media portrayal and 2. medical diagnosis of psychopaths. The difference would come in the gendered style of their behaviour.
In my clinical work I have come across this phenomenon. For example, a woman I now consider to be of the ‘female’-type of psychopath didn’t come close to committing a crime and yet the way she mothered her daughter, my patient, came close to destroying the child’s mind. This seems to me to be a perversion of motherhood eqivalent to the perversion of fatherhood we read about on this website.
Do readers have any comments? I’m particularly interested in any examples you might have of how ‘female’ psychopathy – if such a thing does exist – manifests itself?
Dear Henry,
It is not a great deal of “comfort” to me, but I went to the arraignment of my X-DIL and the Trojan Horse P. Our court house is small and I stood at the top of the stairs as she walked up the stairs in her orange jump suit and jelly flops, IN CHAINS, and I looked at her and I said “Fetching outfit, Laurel.” I had so much venom in me that day I would have relished pouring a butcket of pig poop on her head. She looked back at me with the P-LOOK of rage and hatred.
Later I realized that feeling that much rancor was NOT GOOD FOR ME, and I apologized to her. Not that she cared. I admit that saying that to her, thumbing my nose at her and mentally doing the “na, na, naaa naaaaa na” to her felt good. After all the crap, where she won, I had finally “won a round” and she was in JAIL—my fondest dreams at the time. LOL
Yea, they think they are so slick, and sometimes they end up “getting their tit in a wringer” so to speak, and she sure did. Now she has a criminal record, no home, no husband to support her so she can be a “stay at home wife” and she is working at McDonald’s, her brothers won’t have anything to do with her, and she has no car, and a BF she met on the internet who is probably a P himself.
The Trojan Horse P is still in prison for another year or so I think, so that is some satisfaction. The DA dropped all charges against him except a felon in possession of a hand gun, he got 5 with 2 suspended.
The charges dropped were: Idenity theft, fraudulent use of a credit card (mine) breaking and entering, attempted murder, receiving stolen property, failure to register as a sex offender (an automatic 4 full years behind bars). If all those charges had been prosecuted and the sentences consecutive, he would have had a life sentence. LOL Jails and prisons are so full now that many but THE most violent are being let out, and since the TH-P has a record of 3 convictiions of sexual assault on children as young as 8, you would have thought they would have wanted to keep his sorry butt behind bars as long as possible—not so.
But, don’t expect that he will get a long sentence, but maybe at least he will be arrested and you can see that. It iIS SOME satisfaction at least. Some validation. If nothing else for me in the way of validation, my mother sat there beside me knowing that everything I had told her about them was true and her defense of them only resulted in them STEALING FROM HER AND TRYING TO KILL SON C.
Even now, she is lying to us and back to her old ways of “defending” the “downtrodden” poor psychopaths from us bad guys—oh, not the X-DIL or the TH-P of course, they’re not blood family, so they are out of her defense zone now and it is only my P-son she is protecting from our horrible attacks. LOL (even the enablers seldom change and she isn’t likely to)
Henry, you and I both have done enough of the enabling with these creeps, and fortunately, WE HAVE LEARNED, but they keep on with the USING–they think we are patsy and they are soooooo slick and soooooo smart. It is a bit of satisfaction to at least know that in the end, they weren’t as smart as they thought they were. Consequences are not much to them, but they do our souls good.
Even the TH-P got the crap beat out of him while he was in jail by our local red-neck meth-head bank robber and another meth-head, and the DIL got the crap beat out of her a time or two in jail as well. That’s not going to change them one bit, they are still what they are, but KARMA BITES somewhat.
There’s a fiine line between wanting justice and wanting revenge, and I admit that from time to time I have passed over that line, wanting more revenge than justice, but “eating this dish cold” now and looking at things a little different from the perspective of a year and a half out (more or less) from the arrest in August of 07, I am just glad that they are OUT OF OUR LIVES. I am glad that my DIL has a criminal record (I think she had been a USER most of her adult life, but at least now she passed over the MORAL CRIME into BREAKING THE LAW that labeled her a CRIMINAL.
The TH-P had been into BREAKING THE LAW since he was a juvinile and prison was his “home” and being out wasn’t something he was used to. So I have no doubt that when he gets out this time, he will break the law again before his 2 yrs “suspended sentence” is over (I think 11 months is the longest time he has been out of prison at one time since he was 18) and go back to prison with that 2 yrs to do and a new felony as well. He has no family, and his only friends are convicts, no one on the outside to help him and no intention of living an honest life.
M. has always violated the MORAL CODE of CONDUCT and will always do that, and maybe he is stepping things up a bit since he is not as successful in attracting victims to support him. Sometimes as their attractiveness fades, they have to increase their ways of “making money” (and we know they won’t work if they can help it) so he is moving down the scale a bit.
Henry, “trashy” guys like M are just that, TRASH, they just spiral down the heap faster and faster until they end up living under a bridge because they have run out of people to let them sleep on their couch. They use and abuse everyone until they have NO where to go. You are not wealthy in terms of dollars, but you henry are WEALTHY WEALTHY in that you have your sons, DIL and your SANCTUARY and you are healing, M will never have any of that.
Someone told me once to imagine my own death bed scene. Picture what and who are there beside your bed as you lay there breathing your last. What are the people there in the room talking about in the quiet corners as you lie there?
Then picture THEIR death bed scene.
The night my step father died, there were about 30 people there. He was lying in a hospital bed in the middle of the large room which was both living and dining room, with open kitchen, high ceiling. Some of his favorite music was playing quietly and he was peaceful there as we waited through the night. A few people came to stay an hour and then left, but the core of the group stayed on, quietly talking in corners about his life, his charity, his kindness, his funny sense of humor and how until that day his mind had been as clear as a bell.
I was sitting by his bed, holding his hand, mother on the other side holding his hand, and quietly whispering to him that we loved him and it was okay to turn loose and go to the light.
Now, I can picture my mother’s death bed scene. She is alone in a nursing home or hospital, if she is conscious, she is feeling very alone and unloved, pitiful and having a pity party.
Some of her elderly friends or a few people from the church or community will go by and maybe say a quick prayer and leave. Some of those people will wonder why I am not there, or why my son C isn’t there, or my adopted son D, and say how “awful” it is that she is dying alone.
You know, Henry, all we can take out of this life is the LOVE WE HAVE FROM OTHERS, and all we can leave of any real value is the love we gave to others.
Jesus summed it up when he said “Cast not your PEARLS before SWINE, lest they trample them into the mire and turn and rend (tear) you.” That sums it up pretty well. We cast the PEARLS OF OUR LOVE to these Swine, and they, not appreciating what they had been offered, trampled them into the mud, then turned on us and tore us up for offering them what they perceived of as worthless trash.
Henry, you are a loving, kind, caring and compassionate man, and I have NO DOUBT that you have a great store of pearls of love to offer people, as friends, as a lover, and as a parent to your children and grandchildren. But M is a SWINE and isn’t going to appreciate the PEARLS you have to offer.
Sometimes when I read the stories here I wish I could BOINK these swine with a skillet when I know how they have hurt people, good people, like you and the other posters here. But I can send my love and support to you my good friend, and my hugs and my prayers. (((((henry)))))
thank you Oxy – dealing with the reality that this creep was not ever in love with me – never real – that was difficult to comprehend – but what he has done now is very real – I will deal with it – I have the law on my side – and I am over any misplaced emotions of love and loss – there is evil in the world – and I stepped in it –
Henry: It’s just their stinking negative evil mindsets. Always having this stupid chip on their shoulders as they go through life. Daring everyone to knock that chip off their shoulders … and everyone not even knowing their is some stupid chip on the shoulders in the first place.
I think the majority of them never came from abusive childhoods. I think their attitude comes from not being the doted daughter or son all their lives … something from the oedipal stage … never quick breaking through that stage … going through life with that chip on their shoulders that mom and dad aren’t an extension of you … you really are on your own …
I just want to scream at the top of my lungs “GROW UP ALREADY, WILL YAH”.
Hey, but that’s me … I keep seeing the little children in all of them … the little brooding brats.
Peace. I’m taking big breaths on this … go to court Henry and have the law smack that ruler across his knuckles. Actually, I’d love to see the judge put them over their knees and spank them a good spank.
Henry: Who was that young man (late teens, early 20s) … a few years back … got caught in another country for stealing cars or something … the trial was flashed all over the news media.. and that country’s judgge ordered him a big spanking with a paddle on his butt (1 spank was all it took). The father of the kid was outraged saying this violated his son’s rights … and I’m sure the rest of world was saying … hey dad, where were you …. all the years you should have paddled the kid yourself as he was growing up and giving you lip.
I think we should bring that judge over to our country to clean up this mess with these brats. Because brats they are … just at a older scale. But just cause someone chronologically ages, doesn’t mean they mature.
Wini,
I am for very limited use of spanking in children, but I am very much in favor of the stocks, the whipping post, and chain gangs!
I watched 48 hours mystery last night where a young man was convicted of a murder in a small town about 10 yrs after the murder because he had “violent drawings” in his house. There was NEVER ANY EVIDENCE OF ANY OTHER KIND to link him with this. After he had been in prison on life without parole for 10 years, he was CLEARED completely by testing the woman’s clothing for DNA and her X-boy friend’s DNA was found on the inside of her panties and under the arms of her jacket where the murderer held her to drag her body. Shoe prints also were admitted that vindicated the boy. The judge turned him loose. The city cop had witheld ALL KINDS OF EVIDENCE from the defense team at the time of trial and the detective STILL says the kid (at the time) was guilty based SOLELY on the drawings this kid did at age 15. LOL
Several of the DAs and the other detectives on the first investigation in 1987 testified for the young man in the hearing that finally set him free. The X-BF has not been charged and likely will NOT be—her brother is fighting this though, so it may come up with a charge after all since the DNA is pretty good evidence of who actually killed her and should not have been on her or her clothing or body if the guy hadn’t “seen her in a week”—
The young man who was proven innocent is suing the detective and the city for his persecution. They even put copies of his mother’s obituary on the windshield of his friend’s car that he was riding in on the anniversary of her death (she died when he was 11) Dr. Reid Maloy (I think that is how his name is spelled) who is an “expert” on sexual sadism cases, looked at the kid’s drawing and said the kid was DEFINITELY the killer. One of the drawings showed someone being dragged from under the arms, but later evidence proved that the woman had been CARRIED by two or more people, not dragged. (boy did that guy ever have egg on his professional face)
Anyway, that detective who withheld literally a TRUCK LOAD of evidence including casts of shoe prints etc. also withheld the evidence that a sexual predator (a doctor who later committed suicide when he was discovered and outed) lived close to the site the body was found. That man was exonerated by the DNA as well. The shoe prints (in blood) alone could have shown the kid was not the murderer, but they were withheld from the defense until the kid had been in prison for 10 yrs.
I hope the kid (now 37) gets a bundle froM that officer and the city WHO ARE STILL BACKING THE OFFICER OFFICIALLY. Whatever money he gets isn’t going to make up, but maybe it will give him some satisfaction at least. Even though the judge set him free, the city and the detective in spite of all evidence are still calling him a “suspect.” (head shaking here)
A
Hey Oxy, like I wrote before … I’m lucky I didn’t work for the penal system … when my bosses went after me … because if they had the prison system backing their arsenal of tricks … I would have been locked away … tucked nicely (or not so nicely) in a cell … deep in the basement of the prison system.
Yes, there is abuse of power … and these cops … like Mark Furman in the OJ case should get their butts thrown out of the police system… never to get access again to play cop. That’s the problem … big egos are in every field … so the professionals that are honest and fair … need to week out their own. I don’t care what the profession … I don’t care what the power … they have to make a stand and ask for expulsion of the persons caught in doing the … never let the truth rise to the top … game. Cause they aren’t judge nor jury … but they think they are.
And I meant to write my comments what you said about the OJ case. Furman planted blood evidence and the glove at OJ’s place … that’s what screwed up the trial. Our doctor was flown in for the evidence portion of the trial and said “somethings not right here … ” … well, you all saw the trial for yourself. But he proved that the blood on his socks weren’t splattered how they should be splattered … he proved that someone just dropped the blood on the socks. The thump thump that what’s the Blondie’s name that was living in the guest house (Kato) … what Kato heard was them (the cops or Furman himself) planting the glove in the walkway.
I read or saw it on TV … from Kardasian … saying OJ went over to Nicole’s to slice the tires on her jag. She came running out … he had the knife in his hands … he had it in his mind, he’s screwed now, she’s going to report his punky actions of going to slice her tires to the press … he didn’t want to deal with the publicity of the press on what a punk mentality he was caught in … he had the knife in his hand already and just used it … then Ron came in at the time, tried to help and he got killed too. Then OJ ran out to his parked car, drove like a maniac through the streets … their were witnesses to this fact … plus the guy walking his dog … saw OJ running.
Anyway … if Furman didn’t focus on proving his guilt and just let the truth come out … the trial would have gone the way of a guilty verdict. But, because evidence was planted they had to go with a not guilty verdict. That’s why, let the truth falls were it falls … people that know how to step back and re-enact the scene of the crime will get to the truth.
Peace. And of course, that article or interview only came out one time… if you missed it … too bad. That’s how the press is in our country. Snooze, you loose attitude.
Shattered_Sapphire,
Most of what my son knows about Muslims is from the news and church. I’m not sure if there was talk about Muslim’s at the Christian School I just transferred him out of. The church is not preaching hate so I am not sure where he got his opinion. I have been talking about this to him now so he understands everyone stands or falls on their individual behavior no matter what race or religion and whether it is different or the same as he believes. There was a music teacher at the Christian School who told the children all rock and roll music comes from the devil. YIKES! That really set my teeth on edge and ticked me off!
Oxy, that spanking I was referring to was 1 spank with the paddle. It was the weeks of debate and world wide news coverage … the kids opinion, the attorneys, the father’s opinion … all leading up to the kid having to bend over … and the big paddle gave him one crack on the butt.
Case closed. He was humiliated in public, he had to endure months of the media coverage about him being a selfish idiot. He had to watch his dad, that obviously didn’t have any backbone (or was to selfish himself) to teach his kid right from wrong … so it showed the world what a big baby his father was too.
And, oh boo hoo … the kid had such a fat ass along with a big head, I don’t seriously he felt the swift smack to his butt. I hope he felt it.
But, that’s what the courts should order … everyone brought into the town centers again … right smack in the middle out in the public for all to witness that this selfish jerk is going to get that one big whack paddle on their butt for the selfish situation they got caught at.
Peace.
Peace.
OxDrover and Wini — the criminal and legal system and custody system are ALL screwed up — lawyers (and yes, I went to law school for a year) are NOT into what is RIGHT or even what is FAIR — they are stictly init for sinning their case. Moreover, they use expert witnesses as pawns with, for a high enough expert fee, you can get someone with great credentials to testify to anything and put their expert stamp of approvbal on it and win your case — remember things like the “Twinkie Defense” adn all other such things — adn yes, the copes and DAs and everyone else has their own agenda for manipulating the trials so criminal cases are tough to get proven and all t hese so called professionals try to railroad the system to get SOMEBODY convicted just to feel like some sort of justice is given to the victim and to themselves in a case of mistaken self esteem for having actually accomplished womehting. Civil cases like custody are just a matter of money. so highly maniputable and full of personal prejudices of the judge and a battle of aflse accusation where the attornies grandstand themselves and try to put hte most ridiculous accusations into some semblance of believeabliltiy. and of course even teh judges are prejudiced so there really is no justice per se in teh justice system either. alas…. But I loved your stories… 🙂
Starmist: Just like any career … there are good folks that are righteous and then to are the greedy, selfish self centered idiots in the same profession.
That’s why I say, the righteous folks in any profession should weed out the unrighteous … but being attorneys, they are well aware of rights for everyone. I love though, being in a court room and watching the judge put a snot nosed attorney down. I used to go at lunch time and watch some of the big trials going on … I worked next door to the courts.
Oh and Starmist … there is only one expert – GOD. All the rest are works in progress.
I know, most of the courts are shames … most politically motivated … unless, there is a murder trial … then they get serious … but for the rest, it’s like …let’s just shove this idiot through the system … next.
Look at my situation … 2 attorneys all selling me out. Now go find the politicians that allowed him the payoff … then you’ve got some big fish on the hook.
I know who is up to their butts on the political front on my case. Idiots. Power and Greed, greed and power and stupid decisions … oh Wini, she’s just a stupid woman. Go away. Well all you whimp asses … bite me.
Peace.