We know only too well that by far the majority of psychopaths are men. Or at least we think we know that. Could it be that the criteria used to identify psychopaths are biased towards men? After all Hare began his work in male prison.
Think about it. While behaving and being the way the PCL-R without doubt earns one the label psychopath, this is simply a list of symptoms. It says nothing about the underlying dynamics. If psychopathy is life centered on the principle of power (as opposed to love) and if it is therefore characterised by what Liane Leedom nicely calls ‘warped empathy‘, then wouldn’t you expect there to be more or less the same number of woman as men psychopaths? And wouldn’t you expect them to come across differently?
I am beginning to wonder whether there may be two broad types of psychopathy – a ‘male’-type and a ‘female’-type. I place these in quotes because, when I think about it, men with might be thought of as ‘female’ psychopathy come to mind and we all know about women with ‘male’ psychopathy. And yet, at the risk of being un-PC, I want to maintain these descriptors for now so that the difference I think I see doesn’t disappear.
A ‘female’ psychopath would not necessarily commit crimianl/antisocial acts like her male counterpart, but she woud be as power-driven, as toxically narcissistic as a ‘male’ psychopath. The control, the manipulation, the dishonesty, the selfishness, the callousness – all these would be present, but we might not recognise them for what they are because of 1. media portrayal and 2. medical diagnosis of psychopaths. The difference would come in the gendered style of their behaviour.
In my clinical work I have come across this phenomenon. For example, a woman I now consider to be of the ‘female’-type of psychopath didn’t come close to committing a crime and yet the way she mothered her daughter, my patient, came close to destroying the child’s mind. This seems to me to be a perversion of motherhood eqivalent to the perversion of fatherhood we read about on this website.
Do readers have any comments? I’m particularly interested in any examples you might have of how ‘female’ psychopathy – if such a thing does exist – manifests itself?
Hello there, Slimone!
Wow, situational BPD…never heard that term before and there’s a possibility that I went through that in my late teens and all of my twenties.
But with generalized anxiety, panic attacks and clinical depression, I wouldn’t even know how to differentiate so many disorders from each other.
Guess I will never know but that’s cool as I no longer suffer from any of these debilitating emotional, psychological disorders. Thank the Lord up above!
(not trivializing the pain and suffering any person has or is in the throes of but there most certainly is a shining beacon of light at the end of a long, dark tunnel.
And I am so relieved, thoroughly joyful and liberated to bask in the healing sunshine finally after so many horrible years lingering in darkness. Hooray!)
Sometimes I think when we (humans) are in pain or afraid, we strike out blindly to find a source of that pain/fear, and Go into “defense” mode which sometimes means we “fight” when we are frightened. That doesn’t have to mean we have a life-long pattern of going out and attacking people, I think people someimes defense/attack who and whatever they perceive as a threat to them.
Having hypervigilence once we have been hurt is another thing that can make us jumpy or antsy or provoke us to STRIKE out, sometimes blindly, maybe doing more damage than we intended to, or damaging someone who is actually reaching out a helping hand or a loving comforting hand.
I think all of us have done things we wish in hind sight we had not done. We have been angry with people and acted before we thought. I think part of what we are doing here is to help us learn to ‘sit backk and THINK before we act” and that’s important.
Even a little Beagle dog that has been kicked or beaten is more prone to bite than one that has been lovingly cared for, but that doesn’t mean that every “Pit bull” that is bred to be aggressive doesn’t have a pre-disposition to be a biter, even if unprovked or treated kindly. But, the difference is that the Beagle can be de-conditioned to be a biter, while the Genetically programmed “bred to aggression” dog isn’t going to be trustworthy even with the kindest treatment. That’s why wild animals don’t generally make good trustworthy pets, they have generations of selectivity for defense and aggression.
Look at the Killer Whale that recently killed its trainer. NO wild animal is completely trustworthy —EVER–and if we are talking about one that has the iintelligence and size necessary to kill, as far as I am concerned, anyone who gets killed by one has not taken proper precautions. Even horses and cattle that have been domesticated for hundreds of generations can be dangerous. So proper handling is mandatory. Even then, accidents happen where one un-intentionally hurts someone.
We all have learned I think by now that Psychopaths are “humans in the wild” and they don’t make good PETS no matter how you try to handle them. Even when they appear docile, they are aggression waiting to happen.
Normal people, just like a normal and good dog, can be provoked to aggressive-defense of self, but we don’t have to make it a pattern that is life long. We have brains and feelings, we can “train” and “retrain” ourselves, no matter what our past life has been. But, it takes work and awareness and they are both difficult.
Oh, Janie, hold his skillet over my head and MAKE ME eat some of your GOOD soup, sounds yummy!
Reminds me of the two moonshiners who made BAD whiskey, the first one held a pistol on the second one and said, “DRINK THIS OR YOU DIE!” So the second guy took a big swig and then the first guy handed him the gun and said “Now hold this on me so I can take a DRINK!” LOL ROTFLMAO
Oxy,
Haha…loved the moonshine joke! Hilarious!
And, yeah, my soup is the awesome! I tinkered around with the ingredents for awhile, sampling this and that, throwing everything but the kitchen sink into the pot and finally perfected my recipe.
Every person who’s eaten it, loved my special soup (as if they have a choice in not eating it when it’s on the stove and they visit. I’m like…”Here! Eat this! It’s super good!”)
Really loved your above rational, logical, and understanding response. Makes perfect sense to me.
When you mentioned the part about the Pit Bull, reminded me of that Narc fella I spent a short time with when I moved to Idaho. He has a beautiful, gentle Pit Bull that I fell instantly in love with. If that guy loves anything in this world, it’s that lovely pooch.
She and I bonded right away. I let her know, in a loving way, that I’m the Alpha female in the pack and she can be as stubborn as she desires but I’m as obstinate as a mule…haha.
She’s so smart, eager and adorable. We would go for long walks all over the town, just checkin out the world together.
Man, I miss her. Oodles. Not the dude, he can take a long walk off a short pier for all I care. Fool.
Hi Jane/Oxy/and All,
I know, I’d never heard it before either, and I don’t think it is anything that is recognized by the greater community of therapists. I think more than anything she was trying to get me to understand that we all have the capacity for the kinds of behaviors that are generally associated with more ‘disordered’ individuals, under particular circumstances. And that these behaviors exist on a continuum, and at some given point are reversable. And that I was at the reversable place on the continuum.
And I tell you trusting her, and believing that I was not fatally flawed, and was working through, not stuck forever in, was a key for my self-acceptance.
It was good to know I was the Beagle, who could be rehabilitated, and not one the inherently aggressive breed!
Well, there are gentle Pit Bulls and bad-arse Beagles, but over all, I think breeding will win out MOST OF THE TIME. Breeding alone isn’t a perfect indicator of disposition, but I sure ain’t gonna get me a milk cow out of a herd of Spanish fighting cattle, I’ll take someone’s old gentle Jersey any day! Didn’t mean once upon a a time I didn’t get clocked by my Granny’s gentle old “Biddy” cow either, that old heifer broke my nose and turned over the bucket too! Some how they always WAIT til the bucket is nearly FULL before they put their nasty old foot in it! LOL
You know, many of us here, gentle compassionate souls that we are, grew up in a family filled with psychopaths, and yet, we didn’t “run true to the breeding”–somewhere someone slipped in a conscience into our hearts—we’ve got siblings, and parent(s) that are full blown Ps, and in some cases our children as well….but we are DIFFERENT.
Sometimes I felt like the “ugly duckling” among my family, I didn’t FIT some how, and I didn’t know how I didn’t fit, but I DO KNOW NOW! Hey, I am sprouting some of the most beautiful and graceful FEATHERS you ever saw and I glide swimmingly across the pond of tranquility and peace, while all the quackers in my family look like “plucked ducks”—and it isn’t so bad to be DIFFERENT ’cause, in my case, DIFFERENT is BETTER!
Sometimes there is a tidal wave, or an “oil spill,” and my feathers get tattered or a bit dirty, but just like my parrot, Oliver, I’ll preen them and clean them, and get back into the swim of things again.
Yea, Janie, I love my pooches, my stuck up kitty cat, and my obnoxious bird Oliver (African Gray) and my jack asses, and the red-tailed hawk that nests in the pines just a bit north of the house—today has been a wonderful day of friends and neighbors coming over suprising me with warm hugs and good wishes. Days like today make the others worth living through!
It only takes a LITTLE BIT OF LIGHT to chase away the darkness. (((hugs)))
My son has a pitbull, his name is Brutus. He has a massive head and is ripping in muscles. one time he escaped from my sons back yard. A woman called the police and said there was a pitbull in her house, the officer asked “what’s he doing?” the woman said he asleep on my couch~! The officer said oh that must be brutus I will be right over. Officer gets there and with out a leash brutus jumps in police car and goes to jail. My son had to pay 65.00 to bail him out. that was not his only visit to jail but my son built a better fence so brutus wont go visiting…I am one of those people that cringe when they say ‘pittbull’ but my weiners are meaner than brutus. and brutus sleeps at the foot of my 5 year old grandaughters bed and sometime’ wears her clothes with pride….
Thanks so much, kim, LtL, Witty, and EB, for your kind and comforting remarks.
Kim, “Fern Hill,’ by Dylan Thomas is one of my favourite poems of all time. I can stil remember the last line,
“Time held me, green and dying,
Though I sang in my chains,
Like the sea,”l Great stuff!!
Yes, Im so lucky to have Roya and Abbas in my life.
I did toast my late mama in Champagne! I always do!
Much Love, Mama Gem.XX isnt life grand now wer’e spath free? it can only get better and better!!{{HUGS!!}} to all.!!
Oxy,
Most excellent uplifting analogy there! I can actually visualize you struttin around covered in glorious, colorful feathers.
Ah, to be a bird and fly about. Only in my dreams…
And yeah, critter friends are the bestest! I love and cherish my two posh, spoiled felines but when I asked if I could get a puppy dog they both gave me such a withering glare that I felt it was a good idea to just drop the subject.
Don’t want any of my nice clothes shredded by wicked sharp claws in retaliation. Uh, that would be a negatory.
Hens!
Good to read/see ya, sweetness!
Brutus sounds like a superb canine. With character and his own quirky, eccentric personality. I like him already! And your weiner doggies too, of course.
🙂
Hens….
Our old dog was a Rotten Lab…..
The kids taught her to pull them down a hill by their ankles on a sled….when they were ALL (dog included) young….
BAD IDEA!
We had a house by us which was owned by a church group and they would come up on weekends and play in the snow….well….Allie gals would escape when she heard the giggles of kids sledding…..I didn’t really worry about her because we lived at the top of the mountain in the woods….and she wouldn’t hurt a fly…..
UNTIL one day….the pastor and another parent and a child in tears knocked on the door….they said….SHE BIT THIS CHILD….
Immediately I knew what happened…..I asked……were you sledding……they looked at me perplexed and said yes….
I looked at her ripped pant leg…at the ankle and said….Oh….she was pulling her down the hill…..
YEAH…..these peeps were not going to buy that for one moment…..even though it was the truth….
I offered to buy the child a new pair of ski pants but they were not interested…..
I told them I was very sorry……and although this was a bad idea……our kids had taught her how to be a sled puller by grabbing hold of their pant legs…..
How embarrasing……and what a stupid thing…..in hindsight….
They were convinced she was a vicious mean rotweiler….
I had to be careful from then on…….
Too bad they didn’t catch her on a manicure day with glow pink nails and a homemade batman cape……they might have believed me a bit more about just how viscious she was…..
I’m sure she would have loved brutus…..and the weiny’s…….
Holly is escaping the doggy mani/pedi days……as the kids are older now…..and the first rule when we got her was….NO SLED TRICKS!!!
🙂