We know only too well that by far the majority of psychopaths are men. Or at least we think we know that. Could it be that the criteria used to identify psychopaths are biased towards men? After all Hare began his work in male prison.
Think about it. While behaving and being the way the PCL-R without doubt earns one the label psychopath, this is simply a list of symptoms. It says nothing about the underlying dynamics. If psychopathy is life centered on the principle of power (as opposed to love) and if it is therefore characterised by what Liane Leedom nicely calls ‘warped empathy‘, then wouldn’t you expect there to be more or less the same number of woman as men psychopaths? And wouldn’t you expect them to come across differently?
I am beginning to wonder whether there may be two broad types of psychopathy – a ‘male’-type and a ‘female’-type. I place these in quotes because, when I think about it, men with might be thought of as ‘female’ psychopathy come to mind and we all know about women with ‘male’ psychopathy. And yet, at the risk of being un-PC, I want to maintain these descriptors for now so that the difference I think I see doesn’t disappear.
A ‘female’ psychopath would not necessarily commit crimianl/antisocial acts like her male counterpart, but she woud be as power-driven, as toxically narcissistic as a ‘male’ psychopath. The control, the manipulation, the dishonesty, the selfishness, the callousness – all these would be present, but we might not recognise them for what they are because of 1. media portrayal and 2. medical diagnosis of psychopaths. The difference would come in the gendered style of their behaviour.
In my clinical work I have come across this phenomenon. For example, a woman I now consider to be of the ‘female’-type of psychopath didn’t come close to committing a crime and yet the way she mothered her daughter, my patient, came close to destroying the child’s mind. This seems to me to be a perversion of motherhood eqivalent to the perversion of fatherhood we read about on this website.
Do readers have any comments? I’m particularly interested in any examples you might have of how ‘female’ psychopathy – if such a thing does exist – manifests itself?
Too funny Erin – I used too have a weiner named Pecker. He would wait for this woman who walked down my road every evening and would go crazy wanting to get her but he was behind fence until one time the gate was open and she was walkin by and Pecker ran like a bullet and bit her on the ankle..as pecker was running back to me feeling like a hero the wonan flipped me the finger and cursed me.. but I can imagine what she thot when I was screaming Pecker Pecker Pecker – she must of changed her route…poor little pecker he was a good dog – I sure miss him..
jane smith – you just give me a warm fuzzy feelin when I see you….:)
I LOVE THAT!
Oh how we love our critter’s. One reason I always have 2 or 3 dogs is because I am not so devastated when I lose one. Maybe that is why the s-ex had so many boyfriends at the same time – ya think? oh well I would rather collect dogs than boyfriends – or maybe that was how I saw him – a little lost wounded puppy – yeah thats what he wanted me to believe – but he became a werewolf when he didnt get his way – woof~! woof~! should of ran over that sick puppy….would of saved me alot of grief…
hens,-Do you know the one about the spath who thought he was a werewolf?
“I used to think I was a werewolf, but Im alright Now ow ow owow!!”
love, Gem.XX
Hens….
Think of the coat you could have right now…..
Mammagem……
Have ya been nipping on the leftover champs????
🙂
XXOO
EB
Unsure if this will be of interest but a few additional thoughts re the female socio. When I first me her, in correspondence and when speaking with her she would quote scripture (she only quoted a few verses, I think because she didn’t know any others!) because she knew I was active in my church. It didn’t take long for her to drop that persona as I didn’t engage her in that way.
What caused me to open my eyes fully to her is when I transported the socio to an appointment that she had requested that I take her. I reluctantly did so because in the past I had experienced her cavalier attitude about people’s time, etc. She asked that I wait for her in the car while she did some updates on a logo for her ‘business’. She left me waiting in the car for 3 HOURS! I am not exaggerating the time in any way whatsoever. Needless to say I was NOT happy. Of course she said she was sorry.
On the way home during a conversation, she began discussing my son (an adult) and said something implying something extremely distasteful that I was absolutely furious and said that my SO believed this. And interestingly she said it without any emotion whatsoever. I told her that anyone who would believe anything close to what she was saying was truly insane and what she said was absolutely disgusting. And I told her she totally pissed me off. As angry as I was, she reacted with ‘I know you’re pissed off, I’m just putting this out there’. No emotion. When I dropped her off she wanted to know if I wanted to go to a restaurant with her and get some tea. I thought you have got to be kidding! NO WAY.
After I got home I told my SO what she had said he believed and he said I have no idea where she got that idea, she must’ve misunderstood or something.
A week or so later, she had sent me an email. I was extremely busy and didn’t have time to reply because she was requesting some info I would have to calculate. A day or so later, she sent me a text saying she would call me re the info. That evening my SO came home and asked if I were mad at this person. I said no I’m not angry at all, I just find it odd that she said she’d call me then next thing I know she runs to you asking if I am ‘mad’ at her. By this time I had enough of her and her manipulations. I’ve not communicated with her again.
I read in earlier comments about BPD vs. sociopathic and I agree with the fact that some of our responses to heinous treatment by our spaths can cause some borderline symptoms.
The day that my ex spath discarded me and loudly screamed at me in front of my neighbors in the yard, he said that I was a textbook case of BPD. He said that he wouldn’t be surprised if I tried to kill myself over him. I think it’s because that I was in total shock that he completely turned on me and became the worst case of Mr. Hyde that I’d ever seen and I was begging him not to leave.
I have news for you mr Spath-I know you’re not listening but in YOUR FREAKIN DREAMS WOULD I KILL MYSELF OVER THE LIKES OF YOU. He said that if I tried something that I better not think he would show up at the hospital. I said BPD, NO-how about inability to deal with someone who does nothing but lies and spent a year telling me that I was the love of his life and then going home to someone else. It is amazing how they pawn their craziness off on their victims.
ULTIMATE EXAMPLE Of CRUELTY:we were fighting while he was packing up his stuff to leave. I reminded him that he promised to be my support system during my police training. I had also appointed him, not in writing yet as the person who was to make medical decisions for me should I become incapacitated. I did this because law enforcement can be very dangerous. He said that he didn’t love me anymore. He said-“if you get hurt, YOU WILL NOT SEE ME THERE CRYING OVER YOU-DON’T CRY FOR ME BECAUSE I WILL NOT BE THERE!”
This thing had the nerve to call me crazy-NO, IT IS CALLED NORMAL PEOPLE RESPONSE TO VERY ABNORMAL BEHAVIOR BY PEOPLE WHO CLAIM TO LOVE THEM. It is normal to be upset when someone spends a year telling you:
–you are the woman of my dreams
–we will be together forever
–I will always protect you
–I will never let you suffer-
–you have the best part of me, she doesn’t
–i wish I could stay with you everynight instead of going home to HER-the list goes on and on
Then he says-I don’t love you anymore. I only used you for sex. You are trash.
Well, Erin1972,
WOW! HE DID TELL YOU AT LEAST ONE TRUE THING!!~!
“I Only used you for sex!”
I can’t believe it,, the TRUTH actually coming out of the mouth of a psychopath!
That is more truth than most of them tell in a life time.