We know only too well that by far the majority of psychopaths are men. Or at least we think we know that. Could it be that the criteria used to identify psychopaths are biased towards men? After all Hare began his work in male prison.
Think about it. While behaving and being the way the PCL-R without doubt earns one the label psychopath, this is simply a list of symptoms. It says nothing about the underlying dynamics. If psychopathy is life centered on the principle of power (as opposed to love) and if it is therefore characterised by what Liane Leedom nicely calls ‘warped empathy‘, then wouldn’t you expect there to be more or less the same number of woman as men psychopaths? And wouldn’t you expect them to come across differently?
I am beginning to wonder whether there may be two broad types of psychopathy – a ‘male’-type and a ‘female’-type. I place these in quotes because, when I think about it, men with might be thought of as ‘female’ psychopathy come to mind and we all know about women with ‘male’ psychopathy. And yet, at the risk of being un-PC, I want to maintain these descriptors for now so that the difference I think I see doesn’t disappear.
A ‘female’ psychopath would not necessarily commit crimianl/antisocial acts like her male counterpart, but she woud be as power-driven, as toxically narcissistic as a ‘male’ psychopath. The control, the manipulation, the dishonesty, the selfishness, the callousness – all these would be present, but we might not recognise them for what they are because of 1. media portrayal and 2. medical diagnosis of psychopaths. The difference would come in the gendered style of their behaviour.
In my clinical work I have come across this phenomenon. For example, a woman I now consider to be of the ‘female’-type of psychopath didn’t come close to committing a crime and yet the way she mothered her daughter, my patient, came close to destroying the child’s mind. This seems to me to be a perversion of motherhood eqivalent to the perversion of fatherhood we read about on this website.
Do readers have any comments? I’m particularly interested in any examples you might have of how ‘female’ psychopathy – if such a thing does exist – manifests itself?
He later took it back and said that it wan’t true. He said that he only said it get his wife back. WTF? My response was it’ too damn late, it’s already out there and you can’t unring that bell. He did use me for sex. He just didn’t want it found out what kind of creep he was. He only tried to take it back because he didn’t want me to tell it to other people and make him look like the bad guy. Like I said before, this man will go go any lengths to protect HIMSELF AND HIMSELF ONLY!
Erin….
They only say hurtful things when you “catch on” to their lies and get mad…
They RUN, when you unveil their mask..and they are hurt and scared so they say things to get the last word in!!!
Its tit for tat with them …You reject them so they say things that they know will hurt you.
I felt the same way….that he was using me for sex…but I was using him for sex too…only, HE was the one saying he loved me and wanted to marry me…..etc.. NOT ME.
I think they WANT to act normal…but can’t.
LTL,
Way back in April 09 you asked :
BloggerT7165” are you doing research on female psychopathy..or involved with a book “What About When Mom is the Abuser?— I just started researching about Annies question and came across the above! Sounds interesting!
I apologize for not seeing that until now. The answer is both yes and no. No on the book and yes and no on the research. I have partnered with a new website that is being put together http://www.female-offenders.com that currently looks at female sex offenders and those that survived being abused by them. I might do a book in the future if I can find a good co-author.
Hey JaneSmith……how about that soup recipe?
I’m having a difficult time just walking away from someone whom I suspect as a sociopath. The story is very long and I won’t take up space recounting how events unfoleded. Suffice it to say that she keeps driving by my house since I’ve quit speaking with her. The final straw was learning that she disclosed very personal information to a customer that she was waiting on and it got back to me. When I asked her why she felt that it was appropriate to discuss my personal business with a virtual stranger, she immediately attempted to shift the focus to an alleged beating by her husband.
She even went so far as to come to my house to complain to me about this alleged abuse – never once apologizing for having opened her mouth. The diversion tactic was blatant and she went through the motions of crying, but not one tear slipped down her face. This confirmed my suspicions.
I am concerned by the possibilities of collateral damage in our small community.
Hello Buttons :)x…I think we all find it difficult to ‘just walk away’ once the penny drops that we are dealing with ‘something else’.
… I think you should trust yourself and your instincts with regard to this person … and TRY (I do try but it doesnt always work) to keep your cool and stand a little way back so you can see the ‘whole picture’ with regards to your community…
You could be in a good position (i.e you HAVE her number) to head her off ‘strategically’ at the pass?x
Well, the person in question served 3 years in the state women’s prison for “theft by deception,” which I learned about only because someone sent me a copy of her criminal record. 32 counts, it was, and she explained during an emotional “confession” that it was due to misfiling insurance claims in her ex’s medical practice. Now, I didn’t stand in judgement of her because I’ve done things that I’m not proud of, but “insurance” issues have little to do with the legal definition of “theft by deception.”
She has also claimed that she “bailed” her mother and step-father out of financial ruin and, in return, her name was to be placed upon the deed to their property. Her mother has adamantly denied this whole scenario, as well as disputed other fantastic claims that she has made. Living in a condo – the reality was that she was living in a halfway house after prison. Spontaneous miscarriage of a pair of twins @....... 8 months – nobody ever saw her pregnant, though she has an ultrasound photo that she insists is proof. There are many, many other inconsistencies in her personal accounts that make no sense, are overly complicated, and contradictary when several people compare her stories. She claims to “know” many people of high status, and actually owes money to at least one prominent business owner.
I am concerned because this person has made “friends” with former students and business associates and still maintains her connections with them, which is inappropriate even before I severed my relationship with her. I am concerned because she is definitely capable and willing to spread rumor as well as make dislosures about personal sensitive topics and add her spin to suit her needs.
If I approach any of these people with the facts, I’m concerned that I’ll be seen as a gossip or vindictive person. I don’t want to force this gal to be accountable because I don’t have control over that. But, I feel the need to take some sort of preemptive action. Am I crazy?
With regard to the female sociopath, since women are genetically predisposed to nurturing and all of the other feminine characteristics, the female sociopath’s modis operandii is far more sinister and underhanded, in my opinion.
Dear Buttons,
Well, if you have a copy of her criminal conviction records what I would do is to go to these people (olnly the ones you think she might actually tell and damage you thereby) and say to them, “I hate to do this, but I got word that “Susie” is spreading untrue rumors around about me, and I just recently found out that she is a CONVICTED CRIMINAL and had stopped talking to her. Her claims of x,y, and z, are not so, and I just wanted tomake sure she didn’t “borrow” money from you or in any other way injure YOU.”
Also if this person is living in a half way house still or maybe even after living in the half way house, she may still be on PAROLE. So, I would contact the parole folks and report her behavior to them.
Good luck.
You are NOT crazy. You are bang on the button.
You said ‘There are many, many other inconsistencies in her personal accounts that make no sense, are overly complicated, and contradictary when several people compare her stories’ (Red flags 1 to 100 waving in the breeze!) I think though often not as OVERT as some males, female sociopaths use more sinister and subtle tactics…in my experience the divide an conquer ploy works really well for them.
I think you should let people know, but subtly too, its all you can do… subtly let people know that she is not to be trusted(this doesnt always work) If they ask for more, let them have the facts.xx
Just a thought – when people who are being played get together and ‘compare notes’ the player can be ‘busted’… and it’s easier for people to grasp an understanding they have come to themselves than by being ‘told’ by someone else….