We know only too well that by far the majority of psychopaths are men. Or at least we think we know that. Could it be that the criteria used to identify psychopaths are biased towards men? After all Hare began his work in male prison.
Think about it. While behaving and being the way the PCL-R without doubt earns one the label psychopath, this is simply a list of symptoms. It says nothing about the underlying dynamics. If psychopathy is life centered on the principle of power (as opposed to love) and if it is therefore characterised by what Liane Leedom nicely calls ‘warped empathy‘, then wouldn’t you expect there to be more or less the same number of woman as men psychopaths? And wouldn’t you expect them to come across differently?
I am beginning to wonder whether there may be two broad types of psychopathy – a ‘male’-type and a ‘female’-type. I place these in quotes because, when I think about it, men with might be thought of as ‘female’ psychopathy come to mind and we all know about women with ‘male’ psychopathy. And yet, at the risk of being un-PC, I want to maintain these descriptors for now so that the difference I think I see doesn’t disappear.
A ‘female’ psychopath would not necessarily commit crimianl/antisocial acts like her male counterpart, but she woud be as power-driven, as toxically narcissistic as a ‘male’ psychopath. The control, the manipulation, the dishonesty, the selfishness, the callousness – all these would be present, but we might not recognise them for what they are because of 1. media portrayal and 2. medical diagnosis of psychopaths. The difference would come in the gendered style of their behaviour.
In my clinical work I have come across this phenomenon. For example, a woman I now consider to be of the ‘female’-type of psychopath didn’t come close to committing a crime and yet the way she mothered her daughter, my patient, came close to destroying the child’s mind. This seems to me to be a perversion of motherhood eqivalent to the perversion of fatherhood we read about on this website.
Do readers have any comments? I’m particularly interested in any examples you might have of how ‘female’ psychopathy – if such a thing does exist – manifests itself?
Buttons
Outlier, I feel that destruction of personal property by another individual to be off the hook, but quite typical. Especially, the destruction of things that were created by the targets.
A dear friend of mine who is a superb artist was treated to a bonfire by her abusive spath boyfriend where he tossed her paintings and her handmade exhibition easels onto a fire to TEACH her who was boss. Sadly, this beautiful soul remains with this man by saying, “I can see it in his eyes that he’s so tortured.” (sigh) And, I can do nothing to help her.
Buttons
I would appreciate some insight on this.
I’ve mentioned the former spath friend. I received a message on my voice mail from her mother, with whom I became friends over the past 3 years, last night. The message was to inform me that the household had disconnected their landline and that I could reach her on her personal cell phone. She also mentioned that she wanted to drop by – she lives a whopping 3 miles away. And, I haven’t heard or seen this woman in about 6 weeks.
What is up with this? I have bad vibes about her wanting to visit. The spath daughter and her husband are living in her home, still, and I’ve told her straight up that I will never step foot on her property as long as her daughter is living there. Nothing personal against the mother, but I’m not going to expose myself to the ex-convict liar, EVER again on purpose.
I want to know what it is that the mother wants from me, and I don’t want to discuss her duaghter’s behaviors.
Outlier
Wow, a bonfire would be taking things a step far. Not even my sis would be that destructive! I’ll grant her that! Anyway, the necklaces can be replaced. A girl can never stop shopping for jewellry, right 😉
Buttons
LOL, Outlier! Oh, yes!
ErinBrock
Buttons:
I have no idea what she wants…..but somethings ‘up’.
Remain aware!!!
ErinBrock
From my experience….destruction IS the way a spath hurts someone.
If they know it’s a treasure….it’s the first to go!
They are like mice….they ‘get in’ everywhere.
If it’s important….put it away!!!
Outlier
Thank you Erin. This is a new one. It is quite probably the one thing I wouldnt want her to touch, she can tear everything else except my (great/grand)mother’s recipes.
ErinBrock
Any perceived weakness……they will strike….then blame soemone else.
It might be time to get a nanny cam in the house…..those can be very enlightening!!!
Buttons
EB, I agree with your take on the mother situation. I haven’t seen her since April, and all of a sudden, she wants to visit???
Smells like a fishing expedition to me, and I’m not biting.
bluejay
Outlier,
I like wearing jewelry, having had two necklaces disappear. Personally, I think that my h-spath stole the jewelry. I was cleaning one necklace, setting it next to the kitchen sink in a small bowl. The next day, I noticed it was gone. Time passed and I asked my h-spath about it and he said that it might have dropped down into the garbage disposal. I know he’s lying because I would be able to hear the necklace clanking in the garbage disposal – it possibly would have damaged the disposal itself. When it dawned on me that my h-spath most likely took my jewelry, that was another crushing thing to accept about him – he’s an absolute low-life. It makes me sick to think that I am married to a flipping criminal, total disregard for other people, feigning to care for others. What a jerk.